Shanghi Surprise

Starring Madonna and then husband Sean Penn and produced by one of the Beatles, Shanghi Surprise is one of the most notorious film flops of the 1980s.

Still, it's not that bad.

The film takes place in Shanghi in 1937. Yes, Madonna talks and acts like a girl from the valley in 1986. However, Penn is interesting and even charming in his role.

Of set, that was another story.

Penn was, as usual, stirring up trouble with the press. He got into many fights with reporters (verbal and otherwise) and producer George Harrison tried as hard as he could to maintain peace.

After it was over, Harrison lambasted Penn for being unprofessional.

Take that, Penn, you have been lambasted by a Beatle!

LAMBASTED.

I'd put that on my resume.

Sweetie Guy Hutchinson

Occupation:
2004-2005: Writer (sort of) bunchojunk.com
2005-Present: Beatle Lambastee

The plot of the film has something to do with opium and a bomb.

Also, they were in Shanghi and someone was surprised.

Here is some dialogue I think may have been in the film.

MADONNA: Oh what will we do with all this opium?
PENN: Perhaps I can blow it up with this bomb.
MADONNA: Oh yeah! That would be 'the bomb!' Get it?
PENN: I thought this film was made in 1986, not 1996.
MADONNA: Who cares, the whole picture is a bomb.

Anyway, Shanghi Surprise was the Gigli of its day. You can probably find it in a discount bin at Wal-Mart for $5.

It's actually worth it. The plot is mediocre, but the visuals are stunning. The look of this film is truly something to behold.

Maybe that was the 'surprise.'