An interview with a book (entitled October Surprise)

Sure, anyone can READ a book, but how many people do you know that have actually talked to a book?

Aside from my crazy uncle (who also had "relations" with a butter separating machine) I am the only one I know.

So, I present my interview with a book.

SWEETIE: What's up, Book?
BOOK: Same old, same old.
SWEETIE: So, what is it like being a book?
BOOK: Pretty similar to being a magazine.
SWEETIE: Is it like being a pamphlet.
BOOK: What?!?! I oughta smack you upside the head for that. Pamphlets are losers.
SWEETIE: Stupid pamphlets.
BOOK: Right on.
SWEETIE: So, what is the October Surprise that your cover speaks of?
BOOK: Something to do with the hostages during the Olympics or something.
SWEETIE: You haven't read yourself?
BOOK: Not all the way through. I am more into books on tape.
SWEETIE: You like to listen to them?
BOOK: No! I date them. Are you suggesting that I am not all man?
SWEETIE: What?
BOOK: Cause I am all man and then some, brother! You can take that to the bank.
SWEETIE: I will.
BOOK: And that's the name of that tune.
SWEETIE: It sure is.
BOOK: Now were cooking with gas.
SWEETIE: The copper-top.
BOOK: Huh?
SWEETIE: I thought we were quoting commercials.
BOOK: No.
SWEETIE: What do you think of movies made about books?
BOOK: Look, I consider myself progressive and all that, you know?
SWEETIE: Sure.
BOOK: I'm pretty liberal, I voted for Kerry.
SWEETIE: Sure, but what do you think of movies made about books?
BOOK: I don't feel comfortable with it. I think all that cross-dressing is just weird.
SWEETIE: Me too.
BOOK: Wanna curl up with me? People love to curl up with a good book!
SWEETIE: Uh, no.
BOOK: Prude.