Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Fake LiveSTRONG bracelets

Go to any supermarket, hair salon or rotary phone repair shop and you will see tons of yellow bracelets.

The bracelets, which look like large rubber bands, are part of a campaign to promote cancer awareness. LiveSTRONG is the mantra of everybody's second favorite bike rider, Lance Armstrong.

Of course, Evel Knievel is everyone's FAVORITE BIKE RIDER. (Try jumping OVER the Tour de France next time, Lance.)

The bracelets are made by Nike and used for two purposes. First, at $1 a piece, they generate a decent amount of charity. Second, they promote interest in cancer research, which could lead to more charitable donations.

But, as always, where there is charity there are hucksters.

Not long after the bracelets were introduced, they became the latest fashion statement. Much like the red cancer ribbons of the early 1990s, people wore the bracelets to say 'I care.' Others wore two bracelets to say 'I care even more.' A certain nightclubs people wore bracelets to say 'I can go out and smoke and then re-enter without paying a second cover charge.' Those were, however, a different kind of bracelet.

Soon, stores started marking up the bracelets and selling them for 2 dollars or making the bracelets part of in store promotions, violating the LiveSTRONG rules.

Also, other people were making pink bracelets to show support for breast cancer.

Then, shady individuals realized THEY WERE JUST RUBBER BANDS. Suddenly, bootleg bracelets were popping up at flea markets, dollar stores and yes, rotary phone repair shops (if I keep writing it, it may start to sound funny.)


I went to my local dollar store where the bracelets were available. Unlike some stores they sold ones that said 'LiveStrong.' Some other bootlegs say things like 'support a cure', 'you can do it!' and the very bold 'LiveStronger.'

The packaging looks similar to the Nike bracelets at first glance, yet it doesn't carry the Nike logo. The other thing I noticed was that the dollar store sold this bracelet in EVERY color you could imagine. I chose the standard yellow and, just because it will match my Barbie dream house, pink.

As I went to grab the bracelets from the cardboard box on the dollar store floor, I noticed something else. EVERY BRACELET WAS A DIFFERENT SIZE. Not just a 'youth' and an 'adult' size, these imperfect bracelets were incredibly inconsistent. Some weren’t even round.

I think it is amusing that the dollar store couldn't even make a rubber bracelet with the same quality as the original. Perhaps the fumes from the melted rubber made the dollar store sweat shop workers loopy. Still, it is no excuse for THIS poor quality. Remember, the sell the bracelets for the SAME price as Nike and they give NOTHING to charity.

So, I grabbed two that look close to the size of the real one I have.


After I tore them from the package and tried them on I noticed the bracelet was still very tight. Also, the cheap rubber is uncomfortable and tends to cling to anything it touches. It's like a wacky wall crawler that you wear on your wrist (minus the wackiness.)

To top it off, the fake bracelets don't stretch like the Nike version, making it hard to put the bracelet on and off, and after putting it on ONCE, it already has some small tears in it.

I can't recommend the fake bracelet, true it would seemingly fulfill the requirement of bringing awareness to the disease, but it doesn't directly give any money to charity.

Also, it gives money to people who can't make a decent rubber band, and that isn't good.

Good bye for now, I'll see y'all at the rotary phone repair shop.

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous12/15/2004

    Wow 2 posts in one day!!!! I must be dreaming!
    ...BANE

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  2. I have always wondered what the deal was with those bracelets. I have seen them on eBay for over $50.

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  3. I think these bracelets are so UGLY! I wish they came in different colors!

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  4. Anonymous12/16/2004

    I love it! More $ store crap. 

    Posted by The Taco Kid

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  5. Sweetie, it's so nice of you to give back to the community (especially after taking so very much) and warn the public about these fake LiveSTRONG bracelets. I'm glad you are forgetting the comedy today to provide a public service announcement. It's much better than most days when you just forget the comedy.

    Am I the only one dreading what Knievel is going say about this article? Since you already have him jumping over something, hopefully he'll consider his work for the day done.

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  6. Oh, and don't think I didn't notice that this was just another dollar store article dressed up as something else. I'm sure everyone was fooled.

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  7. I think I bought a knock-off bracelet. I bought one last week but cancer still wasn't cured.

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  8. I heard a rumor that all proceeds from the LiveSTRONG bracelet go to helping Lance Armstrong "pimp" his bike.

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  9. Gene Hackman is so cool the dollar store sells knock off verisions of him!!

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  10. What's with this fake bracelet crap, baby? Some knuckleheads want to scam the public just to make a profit? Give me and Dean 5 minutes with these bozos and it will be ring-a-ding-ding for them and shifty schemes. They will be whistling a different tune if you know what I mean. Now where is Peter Lawford with my double scotch on the rocks?

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  11. You know what would be AWESOME? If Lance Armstrong challenged Evel Knievel to a race around the world to determine who is the best bike rider in the world. And to make the bet more interesting, both riders had use one of those old-timey 1920s bicycles with the giant front wheel. Lance Armstrong was winning throughout Europe and Asia, but Evel snuck up on him in near the Los Angeles. The race became neck-and-neck has they raced through dollar stores and jumped over the Hollywood sign. The race became closer as they both jumped over the House of the Future in Disneyworld. Then as they neared the Finish line in New York City, they ran near Lucy the Elephant. Knievel decided to jump over Lucy, while Lance ran underneath. The jump gave Knievel a lead he never relinquished and won the race. At the finish line, they both shake hands and pose for photos. Then Lance says "With the amount of money we raised for cancer with this race, there are no losers today". Then everyone laughs and applauds. Oh man that would be SSSSSWWWWWWEEEEEETTTT!!!!!!

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  12. You know what would be AWESOME? If Lance Armstrong challenged Evel Knievel to a race around the world to determine who is the best bike rider in the world. And to make the bet more interesting, both riders had use one of those old-timey 1920s bicycles with the giant front wheel. Lance Armstrong was winning throughout Europe and Asia, but Evel snuck up on him in near the Los Angeles. The race became neck-and-neck has they raced through dollar stores and jumped over the Hollywood sign. The race became closer as they both jumped over the House of the Future in Disneyworld. Then as they neared the Finish line in New York City, they ran near Lucy the Elephant. Knievel decided to jump over Lucy, while Lance ran underneath. The jump gave Knievel a lead he never relinquished and won the race. At the finish line, they both shake hands and pose for photos. Then Lance says "With the amount of money we raised for cancer with this race, there are no losers today". Then everyone laughs and applauds. Oh man that would be SSSSSWWWWWWEEEEEETTTT!!!!!!

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