Monday, September 27, 2004

Vibrating pro wrestlers and other lousy toys

The WCW was the WWF's major competition for many years.

WCW stood for World Championship Wrestling. Hecklers, however, would make signs saying it stood for many other things.
Thing like 'We Can't Wrestle' or 'Worst Choice Wrestling.' Some would also put things like 'We Can't Watch' and 'Winter Coats for the poor to Wear.'

WCW was owned by Time Warner. Many people believe that Time Warner was one of the Cosby kids. It wasn't. That was Malcolm Jamal Warner.

Time Warner was on A Different World. Time Warner played Duane Wayne, I think.

The WWF had been making wrestling toys for over ten years and the WCW needed to compete.

The WWF's first line of figures was HUGE! Not just in popularity, but in size. They were about 8 inches tall and made of rubber. They were not posable, rather they could be bent, and they would spring back into place. They were molded in weird poses, many that made it IMPOSSIBLE to do a wrestling movie. These figures couldn't stand up on their own and they couldn't do much of anything, but they were fun.

The WWF followed these figures up with the thumb wrestlers. The thumb wrestlers were available 2 in a pack and you would put them on your finger to thumb wrestle. This did not help you thumb wrestle better, in fact, it made it HARDER to thumb wrestle.

I used to just take them off and make them fight against the full sized Roddy Piper, pretending that Piper had been hit with a gamma bomb (to explain his new size.)

So, it was no surprise in 1994 when WCW teamed up with Old San Francisco TOY MAKERS to make a line of WCW figures. The figures were not a success. They had the same poor articulation that the large WWF figures had, but they also did not LOOK like the real wrestlers.

However, WCW had a trick up their sleeves.

THIER FIGURES VIBRATED.

Huh? As strange as it sounds the figures had a button that, when pressed, caused the figures to vibrate.

I have no idea why this feature existed. The only reasonable use for this was to pretend that Lex Luger and Sting were watching Pokemon before a match.

Then you could press the button to simulate their epileptic seizure.

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