Monday, September 20, 2004

Sexist Candy Bars

In the United Kingdom, England and Great Briton they sell a candy bar called Yorkie.

Yorkie is a pretty common candy bar (with an absurd 23 grams of fat.) What makes Yorkie stand out from the pack is its in-your-face sexism. The candy bar boldly proclaims "It's not for girls."

Ahhh, what a concept! In today's world there is NOTHING left that is exclusive to men. Everything from 'men-only country clubs' to 'male pattern baldness' has become inter-gender.

But, not the Yorkie bar.

Nestle, who makes Yorkie, has mounted the ad campaign to try and encourage men to buy their product by making it more macho than any other. The ads range from silly (a Father's Day bar that read "not for mums") to pretty offensive (billboards encouraging women to "Save your money for driving lessons.")

The BBC recently reported that a woman handing out free Yorkie bars was attacked by an outraged man.
Apparently he complained about the sexist ad campaign, grabbed her by the arm and knocked the candy out of her hands.
Most Britons take the joke in stride, but others have likened it to having racist slogans on candy bars.

Hmmmm, perhaps they should. How about:

M&M's: Not for Canadians!
Kit Kat: Death to the Island of Piuno!
Skittles: Would you want your sister to marry a Kracotian?
Hershey's Kisses: Because white people have no rhythm.

Yeah, that is cool.

Finally, according to a Yorkie ad, here are:
"The Top Ten Things Women Can't Do"
- Make a decision.
- Watch football without talking.
- Drive in a straight line.
- Use ten words when a hundred will do.
- Open a can unaided.
- Use a urinal.
- Own a pet spider.
- Speak on the phone for less than 15 minutes.
- Understand cricket.
- Buy a Yorkie.

Urinals, spiders and chocolate. Mmmmm, doesn't that make you hungry?

Here's the list:
"The Top Ten Things Women Can't Do"
- Go to a plastic surgeon and ask for 'a sex change to become a woman.'
- Have an Adam’s apple.
- Name their Adam’s apple Frank.
- Get asked a question, and then say 'I don't know, let me ask Frank', then talk to their Adam’s apple.
- Open a can with their Adam’s apple.
- Become a grandfather.
- Become a grandfather clock.
- Put on a mask, then leave and have people say 'who was that masked man?'
- Be Man At Arms, He-Man's trusted friend.
- Buy a Yorkie.


  1. Uh-oh, Why do I have a feeling the National Organization for Women is about to bitch-slap Willy Wonka?

  2. Gene Hackman is so cool that candy bars descriminate against him!

  3. robble robble robble robble robble robble robble

  4. I hope woman eat a lot of these candy bars and they all get some fine junk in the trunk.

  5. How about a movie, where women can't eat a candy bar. But at the end, you find out the movie was MADE by women? What does everyone think? Oh, I've got nothing.

    I'm only 1 year away from scrapping together enough change to buy Vodka and ring dings to survive the day. PLEASE HELP!!!

  6. Candy and masogony. What more could the Brits ask for?

  7. The Grandfather clock joke was funny, funny, FUNNY!

  8. Anonymous9/20/2004

    You know, dees women needs to learn to take a joke!

  9. Once again the sexist, discriminatory nature of the Bush administration rears its ugly head. How can the British, as part of the coalition, be expected to ensure democracy for the women of Iraq, when their own women can't buy Yorkie candy bars. How could the Bush administration ask such misogynistic pigs as the Brits to join us? They are not interested in an Iraqi democracy, they are interested in oppressing Iraqi women under the guise of profiting Big Candy. No Blood for Candy! No Blood for Candy! No Blood for Candy!

  10. Anonymous9/20/2004

    As idiotic as Senator Kerry's post is, that's the most coherent thing he has said about Iraq in a year.

  11. Once again the Yorkie advertising campaign is further proof of the emasculation of the 21st century male through rampant consumerism. For more on this topic, rent Fight Club.

  12. On Saturday I was watching the Hopkins/DeLaHoya fight becuase Hopkins is from Philadelphia, and I eventually I will do a film about EVERY PERSON WHO HAS EVER LIVED IN PHILADELPHIA. (Look for my film about Philadelphia bus operator Jim Edwards next fall). Anyways, I said to some friends, that I thought a better ending would be that after Hopkins knocked out, Delahoya, it was revealed that Hopkins actually WAS DeLaHoya. They pelted me with beer and told me that this time next year I'll be directing the local PBS telethon (hopefully, the one in Philadelphia). We shared a good laugh over that. It's funny,, because it's true.

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  14. When the Yorkie ad says "women can't watch football without talking", they really mean women can't watch soccer without talking. That's because in England, soccer is called football.

    Alas enough of these modern games, prepare thou for the caber toss!!!!

  15. I would never eat a candy bar that I couldn't share with Hillary Duff. I wonder if Brittney, could eat it because according to her song, "She's no longer a girl, but not yet a woman."

  16. Last year I went to London on vacation. While passing Buckingham Palace, I purchased a Yorkie candy bar and stuck it in my pocket. (The pocket of my wrinkled pants, that is.) Anyway it melted and I had to wash the pants. Not a big deal because I had brought an iron with me and my pants would not be wrinkled. Unfortunately, the sockets in Europe are different from the U.S. and I electrocuted myself.

    (I was wearing wrinkled boxers at the time as my pants were on the ironing board.)

  17. You know what would be AWESOME, if a bunch of woman were eating the Yorkie Candy Bar and Evel Knievel jumped over them. I'll bet because they are women, they would probably gab on the phone for hours about the experience. Oh man, that would be SSSSSSSWWWWWWWEEEEEEEETTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

  18. Women shouldn't box Kangaroos, either.

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  20. Women shouldn't box Leon Spinks, either.

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  22. great site, very funny.

  23. Just for your info Yorkie taste crap and Nestle have a really bad rep for imorraly promoting dried milk powder to new mothers in developing countries. Hmmm not that funny really, sorry.

  24. Anonymous10/15/2004

    I tried the Yorkie and I don't think it is sexy at all...