Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Freezy Freakies

In the 1980's technology was more prevalent in the world than ever before.

Inventions like cordless phones and computers captured the imaginations of millions. We cooked in a microwave, slept under a heated blanket and dreamed about Pac-Man.

LIL GUY'S PAC-MAN DREAM

Lil Guy sits at his lemonade stand.

LIL GUY: Come on! Someone buy my friggin' lemonade so I can buy tickets to see a Mister Mister concert!

Suddenly Pac-Man pulls up in an ice cream truck. He hops out and pulls out a giant comb.

PAC-MAN: Need a combing?

LIL GUY: Yes, Pac-Man, yes I do!

Pac-man begins to comb Lil Guy's hair. Suddenly Chuck Norris shows up.

CHUCK NORRIS: Lil Guy, I'm gonna knock you out.

PAC-MAN: Over my dead body, Norris.

Pac-Man jumps on top of Chuck Norris and begins pummeling him. Lil Guy grabs the lemonade pitcher and slams it over Chuck's head.


Even entertainment was inundated with technology as movies like War Games and Tron stressed both our love and fear of technology.

So it seemed natural that we had technology in our gloves.

Actually it is more science than technology, but that screws up my whole intro. So, let's pretend it is technology. Basically they were gloves with pictures on them that would appear and disappear with the temperature changes.

The gloves themselves were not very comfortable because they had to be plastic to accommodate the design.

Still, the gloves became PHENOMANALLY popular. So popular that people in the cities were getting mugged for their gloves.

MUGGED FOR THEIR GLOVES.

If that isn't a sign of the apocalypse I don't know what is.

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