I went to a wrestling event this weekend.
It was pretty good.
I was glad to see Ric Flair.
Still, it was kind of sad to see him LOSE to Eugene in a half empty arena in Trenton NJ.
It was kind of like seeing the Queen of England be forced eat dog food... uh... in a half empty arena in Trenton NJ.
The event was great, but there was something missing.
NONE OF THE WRESTLERS TODAY HAVE JOBS!
See, in the late 1980s to mid 1990s most wrestlers had a job.
Like Irwin R. Shyster.
Irwin was an IRS agent, and a mean one at that. Irwin would audit people ALL the time. For no reason. If Irwin was on your case, expect to be buried with paperwork!
But, a simple 9-5 job was not enough for Irwin.
After a long day of tax collecting Irwin would wrestle. He wrestled on the weekends too! Man, I wish I had that energy.
Irwin R. Shyster liked his job so much that he changed his initials to I. R. S.
Or maybe that was his real name, and he was predestined from birth to be a tax collector.
Actually, Irwin was longtime wrestler Mike Rotundo. Throughout his career, Mike had MANY names including:
and for reasons I don't understand: Mike Rotunda
However, it was as I.R.S. that he was at his silliest. He brought a briefcase into the ring, and wrestled in a red suspenders and a tie.
He had a job.
Today, wrestlers with a job are rare. Sure, The Undertaker is technically an undertaker. But, when was the last time he had to comfort grieving widows? Has he ever talked someone into purchasing a more expensive casket for their loved one? Is he listed in the yellow pages under 'funeral services'? Does he ever get spam emails saying 'we can help you keep your customers happy' and then he replies back 'my customers aren't happy! They are dead!'
No, I bet he doesn't.
There were plenty of other great wrestlers with jobs in the past. Big Bossman was a prison guard, The Goon was a hockey player, and Repo Man repossessed cars.
And there was Thurman "Sparky" Plugg.
Thurman was a race car driver. He was portrayed by Bob Howard (best known as Bob Holly.)
Thurman "Sparky" Plugg was considered to be the dumbest name EVER (this was before Sean Puffy Puff Daddy P-Diddy Combs) and the gimmick was just as dumb.
See Sparky was a race car driver who just happened to have the last name Plugg. Conviently, his nickname was "Sparky."
Next time you see a phone book, turn it to 'p' and see if ANYONE has the last name Plugg. I bet there are NONE. Couple this with the odds of that person becoming a race car driver AND a wrestler and the odds of probability are ASTRONOMICAL. You would have a better chance enjoying I-Robot.