Monday, August 16, 2004

Cinderella and the Governor

Hurricanes were hitting Florida.
Wars were being fought in Afghanistan and Iraq.
The country is heading into a Presidential election.
New Jersey has a gay Governor.

OHMYGOD! New Jersey has a gay Governor!

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New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey announced that his "unique truth is that he is a gay American."

Oddly enough, it took 2 marriages and the threat of blackmail for him to announce this.

2 MARRIAGES!!!!

Dontcha think one would be enough?

Ex-wife: Why do you want to divorce?
Jim: You know, this whole being with women thing isn't right for me.
Ex-wife: Oh, so what are you going to do now?
Jim: I think I'll get married again and have an affair with a guy who's name sounds like a river in Egypt.
Ex-wife: Oh, well, good luck with that.

Golan Cipel. That is the name of his lover. GOLAN CIPEL. Doesn't it look like a 'word scramble' or a Wheel of Fortune phrase that is 4 letters from being solved?

His name is too strange. Let's call him G-Money.

The other love story that interested me lately was the movie A Cinderella Story it starred Hilary Duff and some guy who will one day have this conversation:

Person on the street: Hey! I know you! Weren't you in The Lizzie Maguire Movie?
That guy: Uh, no. Do you need your pool cleaned or what?

Don't feel too bad for him, pool cleaning is a very lucrative business.

Or, maybe he will become a huge star. He has had two memorable roles before this:
Tristan on Gilmore Girls (sadly this show has NOTHING to do with the movie Happy Gilmore!)
and
Lindsey Lohan's crush in Freaky Friday.

Wow! Lindsey Lohan AND Hilary Duff! If he does a movie with Avril Lavigne he will have made the trifecta.

Hey! The name 'Avril Lavigne' ALSO looks a word jumble.

The coolest thing about A Cinderella Story is the website. On it you can have Hilary Duff read a love story to you about people you know! It is a neat feature using some kind of futuristic computer technology.

Or maybe Hilary Duff is just sitting there at a desk reading stories LIVE. Jeez, acting is tough! Hey! Go become a pool boy! It's not too late!

We decided to have Hilary tell the love story of Jim McGreevy & G-Money, click here to hear it.

In A Cinderella Story Hilary plays a girl who falls in love with the coolest guy in school. Sadly there are no talking mice or fairy godmothers in this version. It does contains some great Botox humor:

Mom: I'm very upset about this
Girl: You don't look upset.
Mom: It's the Botox.


GET IT! She couldn't show anger due to BOTOX! Before the movie I saw a trailer for The Kranks where Tim Allen gets: BOTOX! Wow, I guess Botox is the new viagra!

The most revered version of Cinderella was the Disney version. This featured a cat named Lucifer and several talking mice. I am not sure why Lucifer couldn't talk. Maybe he got his tongue!

GET IT! MAYBE HE GOT HIS TONGUE! SEE HE IS A CAT. 'THE CAT GOT HIS TONGUE!' BUT, HE IS A CAT, SO HE GOT HIS OWN TONGUE! HA HA HA!

Not funny? Try this:

I am not sure why Lucifer couldn't talk. Maybe it's the BOTOX!


Still not funny?

I am not sure why Lucifer couldn't talk. Maybe his "unique truth is that he is a silent American."


Now THAT is funny.

What is your unique truth?

2 comments:

  1. Hey, doesn't Golan Cipel sound like the type of name that you would have seen in the credits of an 80s action flick?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8/17/2004

    Golan Cipel
    ________________


    plage loin
    all coin peg
    go plan lice
    ice gallop

    ... governor career jumbles

    ReplyDelete