Wednesday, August 11, 2004

A bunch of fakes

I came across an AMAZING web phenomena, websites that document and categorize FAKE Dr. Pepper.

This isn't just one site, there are TONS of sites for you to check out. I hope you like them:
Fake Dr. Pepper.com
Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?
The Authoritative Dr. Soda Page
The Fake Dr. Pepper Round Up
The Dr. Beverages page
The 'I'm a Pepper' test
Dr. Pepper and the Impostors
The Quest of the Dr. Thunder clones
The Dr. Pepper rip-off page
Fake Dr. Pepperland
El Genero

Why! Why is fake Dr. Pepper such a hot commodity? I have no idea. I am fascinated by fakes. Always have been.

Remember Milli Vanilli? I thought they sucked. I hated all their music. I could not stand them!

Then, I found out they faked it.

That was cool! The American public was FURIOUS! How dare they pretend to be singers! Only Guns N Roses are allowed to do that, Milli Vanilli.

Milli Vanilli was the created by German producer Frank Farian. Who had previously worked with German sensations Der Kerrpets, Herr Mostrutti, and Heil Domortitsch. I just made those names up, but they look as real as the actual titles.

Seeking to fuse European dance-pop with elements of American rap, Farian assembled a number of session musicians and vocalists, including rapper Smiity D., Kevin Hobel and Byron Callus. I made those names up, too. The real names were: Charles Shaw, Johnny Davis and Brad Howell. I like my names better. Especially Smitty D.

However Farian knew his group was to ugly to be a success. So he hired models Rob Pilatus and Fabrice Morvan, to pretend to be the group in videos, concerts, etc.

Can you imagine breaking that news to the session musicians.

Farian: Guys! We are going to record an album!
Group: Yes!
Farian: Yeah, but I hired some better looking guys to pretend to be you.
Shaw: Man, this sucks! You would never do this to Smitty D.!

So, when it was finally revealed Milli Vanilli had to give back their Grammy Award. This I don't understand. Why wasn't the Grammy given to the people who ACTUALLY sung the song? Aren't Grammys give for musical achievement? Are the ugly not allowed to have them? Weren't the Grammys just proving Farian right?

Who knows. All I know is it's Smitty D.'s world, Milli Vanilli only lived in it.


ASHLEE SIMPSON UPDATE:
Fans of Ashlee Simpson were SHOCKED after Ashlee Simpson had a Milli Vanilli moment on Saturday Night Live.
Saturday Night Live fans took a brief break from writing "It's Pat" fan fiction to see Ashlee Simpson get caught on stage as a guide track played behind her.
Ashlee Simpson went on to blame her band for playing the wrong tune, and later blamed acid reflux for the guide track all together.
NBC also took the occasion to blame acid reflux for the fact that the show has not been funny since 1996.
Not to miss her moment in the spotlight, Sinead O'Connor announced that when she ripped a photo of the Pope on SNL during a 1992 appearance, she did it because she had learned that the Holy Pontiff had acid reflux. She was demonstrating, she said, her desire to 'tear up acid reflux.'
If only they could all get together with the great Smitty D, they could start a coalition to stamp out this disease!

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