Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Toilet Duck

I wanted to do a song about the Toilet Duck, the greatest invention of all time. I figured I could cover the entire product line: the duck shaped cleaner filled bottle, the slow dissolve tablets and the flushable brush.

Since I am not a songwriter I decided to do it to the tune of "Silent Night."

After I finished, I worried that I would be eternally damned for making a song about a duck-themed toilet cleaner to the tune of a song about the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I talked it over with some theologians and it turns out that it is NOT a sin to make such a song. In fact, they believe Jesus WANTS us to keep our toilets clean.

So with no further ado, here is "Toilet Duck."

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Toilet Duck
Toilet Duck, Toilet Duck!
So glad to have you, what awesome luck.
Funky necked bottle curved up like a worm.
You kill 99% of all germs,
Also bacteria too,
You help us clean up the loo.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Toilet Duck, Toilet Duck!
Like a super cleansing hockey puck.
No more stubborn build up of lime
You keep it clean for months at a time,
It’s triple action clean!
Triple action clean.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Toilet Duck, Toilet Duck!
Finally! A disposable brush.
It actually breaks up in your plumbing
The whole idea is just mind numbing,
Toilet Duck we thank you.
Toilet Duck we thank you.

9 comments:

  1. Toilet Duck, could I love you any more?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like the serious look the duck has on the packaging. You can tell he means business. I bet he does a much better cleaning job than that real duck I hired to clean my toilets. $20 and it looked worse than when he started.

    I'll stick with the scrubbing bubbles.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jenni212/15/2006

    Spell check! Otherwise, I loved it. Sounds disgusting and cute.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks, I forgot to spell check the opening. BTW, my spelling is actually not THAT bad, I just type REALLLLY fast.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is the cutest basphemy ever.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am ready to bow down before the Toilet Duck.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Guy Who Is Afraid Of Bears2/21/2006

    Having a duck in my toilet is my second biggest fear. My biggest fear is being mauled by a bear while I'm feeding the ducks at the pond in the park.

    ReplyDelete