Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Bottom 10 Cereal Mascots

A while back we covered the top 10 cereal mascots. You can read them by clicking here. The consisted of everyone you would expect, with Cap'n Crunch taking the top spot.

Now it's time to take a look at the BOTTOM of the list. Mascots that are good enough to make the top 100... just barely.

91. Cornelius:
The rooster from Corn Flakes. He's dependable and consistent. He's not funny. He's just there. He's like Bryant Gumble. That's not a compliment.

92. C3PO:
He's no one's favorite character from Star Wars. Heck, he's not even anyone's favorite ROBOT from Star Wars. He's better than Bryant Gumble, however.
He had his own cereal and not too many robots can say that.
Did the robot from Lost In Space get a cereal? No. How about the one that Rocky gave to Paulie as a gift in Rocky IV? Remember that? No?

93. The Apple Jacks Kids:
So poorly drawn that even Charles Schultz would be ashamed to take credit for them, these kids occasionally find themselves on the front of the Apple Jacks box. Other times they are not. No one seems to notice either way.

94. Bigg Mixx:
I love this guy! Appearing in 1990 (and disappearing soon after) Bigg Mixx was a cereal that purported to be a mix of all the cereals that Kellogg made. Big Mixx himself was a combination of a rooster, a moose, a pig and something else. HE would have tasted great if cooked with some Ramen Noodles.

95. Mini Wheat:
This was a piece of Frosted Mini Wheats cereal. He has a face on each side. On TV he argues with himself. "Some like the frosted side better... some like the wheat side better."
He's a liar. No one like the wheat side better.

96. Kaboom:
He's a clown that makes a cereal. It doesn't ACTUALLY explode or I would rank him higher… much, much higher.

97. Sugar Bear:
A few decades ago he could have knocked Cap'n Crunch outta the top spot. Not anymore. The anti-sugar movement of the 1990s almost killed him. The low carb craze of the past few years hasn't helped heal his wounds. Dr. Doctor, an Atkins expert, called Sugar Bear "The biggest S.O.B. in the history of the planet."
He later relented and said "Alright, Hitler was a little worse."

98. The Alpha Bits Letters:
I'm just padding the article here. 10 is a bigger number than it seems.

99. King Ayummayumma:
Sure, he's probably offensive to some ethnic group, but I'm not sure which one. Appearing around 1990 I remember a week or two where everyone at school liked to say "A Yumma Yumma" like they did in the commercial. I don't remember ever actually eating it, though.

100. The Quaker Oats Man:
Looking like a slightly drunk George Washington, the oats man stands smiles solemnly at us. I only find him solemn because, odds are, he is dead by now.

5 comments:

  1. Thanks to Mr. Freeze, I stole his comments about Sugar Bear. It's a homage, not a rip off.

    Speaking of those comments... make sure to real the first cereal box post.
    click here for that one. Make sure to check out the comments posted by me and John Kerry (make sure to click on the link to Anton's list of Egg Mascots.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't say that I remember Bigg Mixx but it sounds lke an awesome cereal.

    I'm also of the belief that everything tastes better mixed with Ramen Noodles.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm curious about Bigg Mixx as well. I can't get the picute of a janitor sweeping up the floor of the Kellogg's plant and dumping it in a box out of my head though.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Alright. I will do an in dept report on Bigg Mixx.
    Where is my porkpie hat with the word "press" taped to it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah - I agree with Craig - I'm bummin I missed the big Mixx too. Actually, the mascot sounds like a creature from Dante's Inferno.

    ReplyDelete