Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Bobby Teenager

In the world of multiplexes, AMC is pretty big. And, like they said in Spider-man:
"With great size comes great responsibility."

Wait, I don't think that was in Spider-man. Maybe it was in the adult film rip off.

Either way, AMC recognizes their responsibility to the community. Even though the community constantly confuses them with a TV network that used to show classic movies commercial free and now shows movies rejected by TBS and crams then full of commercials for hair care products.

Stupid AMC television.

But, let's not blame AMC theaters for that.

AMC does plenty of good for the community (although I don't think they played the smut version of Spider-man and I will never forgive them for that.)



This poster demonstrates their desire to keep kids out of the R-rated films.

"Show us your picture. We'll show you ours." They promise.

It's not true.

I.D. alone will not get you into the movie. You need money.

Stupid liars and their stupid television network.

The rest of the poster shows Bobby Teenager's "Valid Photo ID." Someone had scribbled all over Bobby's face before I took this photo. Bunch of savages in this town.

Speaking of which, Bobby lives in Anytown, USA.

Anytown USED to be a good place to live, but they started letting teens into R-rated films in the mid 1960s. Those teens grew to become adults and due to their exposure to the film Theatre of Death they all worship Satan today.

It's no wonder Bobby goes to the theater so often, it's an escape from watching his parents wade through the blood of non-believers.

Bobby has been a fixture at AMC theaters for over 10 years now. I have seen his mug at AMC theaters in AT LEAST a half dozen states. Bobby seems just a prevalent today as when he warned me and my juvenile buddies that a world of trouble awaited us if we tried to get tickets for Sliver.

The bottom line is: Bobby HAS to be old enough to see R-rated films now!

Here is a computer enhanced image of what he might look like today.

9 comments:

  1. Please tell me that I am not the only one who has ever seen Bobby Teenager. Anyone else?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jim Shorts10/26/2005

    Foul! Foul! I know you are all upset about the war, but you can sneak into R-rated movies! Foul!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Matt Damon had to start somewhere, right?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thats funny. He does look like Matty. I wonder what the actor who played him is doing today. It must be funny to do a modeling job and then have it live on sooooooo long.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm good friends with his family. His dad, Ted Middleagedman has known my dad for years. And his grandmother Marie Oldlady once shared a boarding house with my grandmother.

    His cousin Tim Youngadult worked in my store, too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I saw on one of those entertainment shows, (Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, the Insider, or the O'Rielly Factor--I forget which one) that Bobby Teenager has begun dating Hilary Duff.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't know Bobby, but I know his sister Laura Teenager quite well. She was at my "Not Guilty" party. I was gonna get freaky with her, but R. Kelly already beat me to the punch.


    NBA Fever, it's Fan-tastic!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You know what would be AWESOME? If Bobby Teenager tried to sneak into a rated R movie, but was distracted by Evel Knievel jumping over the theater. Upon landing Knievel tought him what it means to be a man and the dangers of corrupting his mind by sneaking into R rated movies. Knievel encouraged him to pursue a healthier activities such as playing the ponies, drinking, herion, or strip clubs. Bobby Teenager thanked Knievel and then placed $100 on Citadel in the 5th race at Pimlico and let it ride!! Oh man that would be SSSWWWEEETT!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gene Hackman is so cool, rated "R" movies sneak into him.

    ReplyDelete