Hollywood Knights

Have you ever thought to yourself "Hey! I wonder what it would look like if Tony Danza and Michelle Pfeiffer were making out outside a greasy spoon in L.A.?" I bet you have, and truthfully, who hasn't?

It's one of the many fun moments that you can enjoy if you check out the 1980s flick Hollywood Knights.

First, I have a confession. I never saw this film.

I know, it's customary to SEE a movie before a review but I didn't do that.

I noticed the film was listed as a free film on my cable "On Demand" program. Curious to see what footage they showed in Hollywood I turned the program on and hit "fast forward".

I'm glad I did.

Still, I think I got the general idea.

This film is one of those great "before they were famous" films. In it you get to see such actors as Danza, Robert Wuhl, Stuart Pankin and Fran Drescher when they were young and unknown BEFORE they became old and mediocre.

Also, somehow Michelle Pfeiffer was mixed up in this whole thing.

The film opens with Fran Drescher and some of her friends sunbathing. Drescher seems to be the only one career savvy enough to keep her top on. Robert Wuhl seems to be playing either a pervert or a private eye in this film and so he watches them sunbathe. He also hides in closets and bathrooms with a microphone throughout the film.

You probably recognize Wuhl's name, but if not you may know him as "that annoying guy" in movies like Batman.

Soon Wuhl is caught, but the hijinks don't end there. I learned the benefits of hiding in trees. Apparently if you hide in a tree for a few minutes a group of cheerleaders will park under the tree and get changed. That happens a lot in Hollywood Knights. I am not sure, but I think the TV Guide description was "goofballs hide, stupid pretty girls change clothes."

Still, there is more to a good film than a bunch of naked people. And this film has it:

T.K. Carter.

Ah yeah. I'm not sure what he was doing in the film. There seemed to be a radio station and a car race involved in the plot and I think he had something to do with one of them. Sure he may have been a DJ or race car driver but to me, he will always be Punky Brewster's teacher.

I can remember that show like it was yesterday.

PUNKY: Do I have to take a test today?
T.K. CARTER: Yes, if you want to pass my class you do.
PUNKY: Come on! Look at how messed up my life is! I have no mother and a weird old man as an adopted father. He has to be at least 90! He'll be DEAD before I graduate. What difference will it make then? Plus do you think he would even notice if I get a zero? Look at the way he lets me dress for school!
T.K. CARTER: Good point.

Ah yeah.

If THAT wasn't enough, there was a small part played by one of the Russian guys who was trying to kill Gilligan in Rescue from Gilligan's Island.

Conclusion: I highly recommend that EVERYONE fast forward through Hollywood Knights.