Monday, November 08, 2004

Viva La Revolution

Dance Dance Revolution.

You may not know what it is by name, but I am sure you have seen it. At malls, Chuck E. Cheeses and bedrooms of nerds everywhere there is Dance Dance Revolution.

Dance Dance Revolution or DDR to those who don't have time for all those friggin' syllables, is a video game where users stand on a pad and coordinate their movements to arrows on the screen. Sorta like Simon, only for your feet.

By Simon, I meant the 1980's handheld memory game, not the nerdy brother on Alvin and the Chipmunks. JEEZ! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER AND STOP THINKING OF SIMON'S FEET!

Anyway, in this game you follow the arrows, making you look kind of like you are dancing. In all honesty, players don't exactly look like they are DANCING, more like an uncoordinated, epileptic Steve Urkel- who really has to pee.

You may have seen DDR on the show King of the Hill. The game was in the episode where Cotton and the family went to Japan. While in Japan, Bobby is introduced to the game.
Or, you may have seen the episode of The Simpsons where Homer has a pet lobster named Pinchy and he walks him on a leash like a pet dog. There was no DDR in that episode, but The Simpsons is a much better show than King of the Hill.

WALKING A LOBSTER! That still makes me laugh!

Basic game play is simple, music plays (home versions have about 60 tracks) as on screen arrows tell you where to move your feet. Behind the arrows, there is a bunch of strange imagery. Everything from digital chipmunks to demon teddy bears. Sadly, Simon wasn't one of the digital chipmunks.

On Saturday, I witnessed an attempt to establish a Guinness World Record at DDR.

Guinness had not yet listed a record for constant play of this game, but certainly there is room in the book for it. Perhaps it can go on the page between the photo of the guy with 8 inch fingernails that look like giant Fritos and the photo of the two fat twins on motorcycles.

Getting a record attempt sanctioned is not an easy task. First, you contact Guinness and ask for permission.

If permission is granted, they set rules. In this case, the act must be performed in a public place with witnesses rotating in 4 hour shifts and under the supervision of medical personnel.

Oddly enough, these were the same restrictions that Viagra put on Bob Dole's sex life after he was signed as their spokesman.

Peter Ogden, a 21 year old Princeton NJ resident who decided to make an attempt at immortality.
Rather than take the route of dancing awkwardly next to Bob Dylan with the words "Soy Bomb" painted on his chest he decided to play DDR for 24 hours straight.

Starting at 12pm on Saturday November 6th, Peter was scheduled to move constantly (except for a couple fifteen minute breaks) on the DDR pad until Sunday at 12:30pm.

The first few hours it seemed relatively easy, less movement than one would exhibit during a trip to the grocery store - that is if you dance like a drunken Gerardo when you shop for your Cap'n Crunch.

After about 5 hours, Peter started to feel some pain in his legs, but he was in good spirits again after the mandatory break at 8pm. I am sure Bob Dole was too.

Around 3am things became very difficult. The half dozen or so spectators (including Justin Lunetta who stayed the WHOLE time!) ceased to have any interesting words of encouragement and instead said things like:

"Is THAT all you have to do?"
"Why are you stopping after JUST 24 hours?"
"You know, you're starting to smell."
and "Who is the Bob Dole he keeps babbling about? Was he one of the Village People?"

Speaking of which, the music started to get more and more annoying over the hours. After the 12th time, no one really wanted to spell the letters to 'YMCA' over their head anymore. Even those that did were doing the sloppiest 'M's I have seen since my two fat twin cousins dressed as M&M candies last Halloween. Hmmmm, maybe we should have put them on motorcycles.

Some of the more eclectic song choices, like 'Never Ending Story,' were also starting to get old.
As a side note, most of the songs on DDR are covers, sounding less and less like the original artist each time you hear it.
When you hear "Do You Believe In Life After Love" THAT many times, you start to believe that the singer is trying to impersonate SONNY BONO rather than Cher.

As the sun came up, Peter started to feel constant pain in his legs and feet. On the next 15 minute break, he noticed the soles of his feet had turned black as the ink from the DDR pad wore off on him. Still, every 2 minutes the TV would bellow "ARE YOU READY" and each time he was ready.

Soon, it was inevitable- he was going to make it. Eventually, at 12:30 he hit the 24 hour mark and stumbled off the pad like and old man who had just... uh... well, let's just say he stumbled off the pad like Bob Dole!

After the mandatory fifteen minute break he stepped back on the pad to finish the 1 o'clock hour. He established the record; to bad he didn't do it next to Bob Dylan.

Facts about the attempt:

Ending at 1pm, he had gone for 24 hours and 15 minutes.

The previous (non-sanctioned) record holder claimed to have played DDR for 21 hours.

Peter scored roughly 6 trillion points.

First song 'Diving' by 4 Strings, on DDR Extreme.

Last song 'D2R' by Naoki off DDR Max 2

During the attempt, Peter failed 3 songs out of approximately 2800.

His smallest combo was 5.

Largest combo was 987.

Peter broke a sweat at 1:52 pm Saturday.

100 songs had played by 2:44pm Saturday.


  1. Anonymous11/08/2004

    Awesome! Great job!
    ... BANE

  2. Mr. Hutchinson, I think you may have set the world's record for most refernces to Bob Dole. Unessasary ones at that.

  3. Yikes! Peter looks like a wounded zombie in that picture!

  4. Be fair, Sweetie, DDR isn't for nerds, Simon is for nerds!

  5. Wow! I can't imagine doing that for 1 hour let alone 24!

  6. Anonymous11/08/2004

    Guy Who Looks Like John Candy said:
    I tried to make this world record once, at the Chuck E. Cheese at the Galleria.
    Unfortunatly I was not able to accomplish it because people kept interrupting me and ask me if I was John Candy.
    Then I would say yes, because my name coincidentally IS John Candy. So after I told them I was John Candy, they would say "HEY, John Candy is dead."
    Then I would start crying, because I was a big fan of John Candy (the actor, not me... I hate myself.)

  7. Yeah, I thought you would get a kick out of this, Bane.

  8. Anonymous11/08/2004

    For the record, Viagara does NOT ask for it to be done in public. That is Mrs. Dole's idea.