This year Sesame Street celebrates its 35th Anniversary. Let's take a good look at the VERY first show.
The first episode of Sesame Street was rather different than the way the show is today. Big Bird looked rather odd, Oscar was orange and Gordon was... uh... Sam Jackson from Pulp Fiction.
Really! He had the afro and everything. They have changed Gordon's a few times during the early days of the show. There were a total of 3 Gordons and NONE of them looked alike.
The current Gordon is Roscoe Orman. Roscoe had quite a career before Sesame Street. Most notably, he played the title role in Willie Dynamite a blacksplotation film. Willie Dynamite is a mean drug pusher and pimp. Big Bird would be so ashamed.
The first episode starts with Pulp Fiction Gordon (Matt Robinson) leading a young girl named Sally down the street. Early on she meets Mr. Hooper.
GORDON: Mr. Hooper, I would like you to meet Sally.
HOOPER: Hello Sally.
GORDON: Sally is new here on Sesame Street.
HOOPER: Hello, new Sally.
If you listen carefully after that exchange you can hear Jim Henson writing "Don't let Mr. Hooper ad lib anymore!" in his notebook.
Next Sally meets Big Bird. Bird has a much smaller head in this episode. He looks a little creepy. He speaks in a sing song-y yokel voice (like Barney) during this show. Bird is scared by Sally and says that he "Almost laid an egg right here on Sesame Street."
WHAT?
Big Bird is a male bird, so clearly he doesn't lay eggs. There is just something about him being pregnant that I find disturbing. Correction: EVERYTHING about him being pregnant I find disturbing.
After this we are treated to a series of vignettes where Cookie Monster eats letters and numbers. I always found it interesting that he is the COOKIE monster, despite the fact that he doesn't seem discerning about his food intake. Cookies are his favorite, maybe, but he will eat the plate you serve them on.
There was a 'Got Milk?' poster featuring Cookie Monster a few years ago.
It bothered me that he seems unable to digest cookies without milk. I HAVE SEEN HIM EAT A HUBCAP. If he did have milk, he would eat it, glass and all. Maybe he would just rip the udders off a cow and eat them. Now that I think about it, the people of Sesame Street must be living in constant fear of a Cookie Monster rampage. I bet Ernie sleeps with a gun under his pillow.
Later, the show takes us to Gordon's house where Bob is helping Gordon hang a picture. Gordon speaks to him in a patronizing tone, much like you speak to a child. This seems to be common on kid’s shows so the children can follow along with the dialogue. Bob, however, is not having it.
GORDON: Hold the nail there, and after you do that pull the hammer back and-
BOB: I know, I teach shop.
WOAH! Bob is a little testy today! Don't anger Bob, he has a hammer.
I have a brief Bob story. A few years ago I met Gordon (Orman) at the local mall. He was doing a show for kids. He was a really nice guy, and I got an autograph from him. Afterwards I decided to write him a thank you note, and while I had the pen out, I wrote an autograph request to Bob as well.
Bob sent back a letter from his secretary saying:
Mr. McGrath would like to grant your request; however, he is too busy to sign autographs due to the volume of mail he receives.
HOW COULD THAT BE? How many people are writing to Bob McGrath? I wonder if he does the same thing to the credit card company.
Mr. McGrath would like to grant your request; however, he is too busy to sign checks due to the volume of mail he receives.
Anyway, Bob knows how to use a hammer. So Gordon leaves to introduce Sally to Oscar the Grouch. Oscar looked EXACTLY the same, except he was ORANGE. He actually looked pretty good that way. I don't know why they changed him to the 'mold green' color he is today. I suppose that more of our garbage is GREEN. Realistically, living in a trash can, Oscar should have contracted dysentery and turned a bloated yellow color by now. But, that is nit picking.
The show wraps up with Sally talking with Gordon (MAN HE WAS A CAMERA HOG) and Bert and Ernie. Gordon wraps up the show by asking Sally if she remembered everyone. Then he asks her if she remembers Oscar. He holds up his fingers to his mouth and mimes smoking a cigarette. I still don't know why. Perhaps Oscar was a chain smoker back then.
As for Sally, I never saw her again on the show. Perhaps her parents got a little suspicious of all the attention Gordon was lavishing on her and decided to move to the suburbs. Not a bad call, who knows how long before Cookie Monster and Bob go on an eating/hammering rampage.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Taco Bell Kids meals: Robops
Taco bell has outdone themselves! They have introduced a kids meal that features Mr. T!
They are called Robops. They are a hip rappers and robots. Their name is a cross between the word 'robot' and the letter 'p'.
Robops.
Now, as for Mr. T, take a look at DJ Spinner in the back on the turntable. He wears a gold chains and has a mohawk. Just like Mr. T.
Now making a robot Mr. T brings up many questions: Why would a robot wear gold chains? How would a robot get a haircut, let alone a mohawk? And why isn't Mr. T co-starring in I-Robot?
Whille DJ Spinner tries to get the beat, G-Lix is on the microphone. G-Lix is extending his 2 fingers leading some to think he is holding the peace sign. This is not the case. G-Lix is playing a game of "paper, rock, scissors" (known to some as "rock, paper, scissors" and known to the people of West Virginia as "The way we pick the mayor"). G-Lix is playing the game with a fan in the front row. If the fan wins, he gets to dance on stage with the band. If G-Lix wins, the machines will rise up and annihilate everyone in the stadium. My money's on G-Lix.
By the way, it seems G-Lix was modeled after Spongebob's catankerous co-star Squidward.
Standing on stage in the middle is B-Beats. You may have seen B-Beats starring in the film Iron Giant.
B-Beats is the peacenick of the group as he proudly wears a peace symbol around his neck. He also wears a pair of bright red clown shoes preventing people from taking his message of peace seriously.
The final member of the band is M.C. Mike. He is nothing more than a tube of toothpaste with a hat.
As far as Taco Bell kids meal toys go, Robops are a bit of a let down. They aren't nearly as cool as the recent JAM-phibians, nor are they as cool as this photo of Gene Hackman.
However, being Robots, they are cool.
and now:
5. Voltron:
Made from several smaller (and still cool) robots he maintains all of their coolness to become SUPERCOOL.
4. Tom Servo:
Mystery Science Theater 3000 owes much of it's sucess to this wisecracking robot. He is the essence of cool.
3. Robocop:
Man he was cool, and ARMED. I'd buy that for a dollar!
2. R2D2:
The robot that put the STAR in Star Wars.
and
1. Robot (from Rocky IV)
Would Rocky IV have been cool without Robot? I don't even want to think about it. From the moment Pauly recieved Robot on his birthday, the film was awash in coolness.
They are called Robops. They are a hip rappers and robots. Their name is a cross between the word 'robot' and the letter 'p'.
Robops.
Now, as for Mr. T, take a look at DJ Spinner in the back on the turntable. He wears a gold chains and has a mohawk. Just like Mr. T.
Now making a robot Mr. T brings up many questions: Why would a robot wear gold chains? How would a robot get a haircut, let alone a mohawk? And why isn't Mr. T co-starring in I-Robot?
Whille DJ Spinner tries to get the beat, G-Lix is on the microphone. G-Lix is extending his 2 fingers leading some to think he is holding the peace sign. This is not the case. G-Lix is playing a game of "paper, rock, scissors" (known to some as "rock, paper, scissors" and known to the people of West Virginia as "The way we pick the mayor"). G-Lix is playing the game with a fan in the front row. If the fan wins, he gets to dance on stage with the band. If G-Lix wins, the machines will rise up and annihilate everyone in the stadium. My money's on G-Lix.
By the way, it seems G-Lix was modeled after Spongebob's catankerous co-star Squidward.
Standing on stage in the middle is B-Beats. You may have seen B-Beats starring in the film Iron Giant.
B-Beats is the peacenick of the group as he proudly wears a peace symbol around his neck. He also wears a pair of bright red clown shoes preventing people from taking his message of peace seriously.
The final member of the band is M.C. Mike. He is nothing more than a tube of toothpaste with a hat.
As far as Taco Bell kids meal toys go, Robops are a bit of a let down. They aren't nearly as cool as the recent JAM-phibians, nor are they as cool as this photo of Gene Hackman.
However, being Robots, they are cool.
and now:
The Five Coolest Robots Of All Time
5. Voltron:
Made from several smaller (and still cool) robots he maintains all of their coolness to become SUPERCOOL.
4. Tom Servo:
Mystery Science Theater 3000 owes much of it's sucess to this wisecracking robot. He is the essence of cool.
3. Robocop:
Man he was cool, and ARMED. I'd buy that for a dollar!
2. R2D2:
The robot that put the STAR in Star Wars.
and
1. Robot (from Rocky IV)
Would Rocky IV have been cool without Robot? I don't even want to think about it. From the moment Pauly recieved Robot on his birthday, the film was awash in coolness.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Really amazing facts
1. Only one word in the English language is spelled the same forwards and upside down. The word is pounod.
2. "Play it again, Sam" was never uttered during the film Casablanca, rather it was said in Gone With The Wind.
3. In the movie Cast Away Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) has a Fed Ex package that he never opens. Inside the package was Marsellus Wallace's soul.
4. Mikey (from the Life Cereal commercials) died from drinking BEER and Pop Rocks... and then driving.
5. With seahorses, it is the male that gives birth... to Marsellus Wallace's soul.
6. The phrase 'liar, liar, pants on fire' was coined by U.S. Senator Benjamin Borow in 1889 to describe fellow Senator Nathaniel Pants who had lied to the Senate. Borow then set him on fire.
7. During his 100 year life (including his work for the troops) Bob Hope never once wore shoes.
8. In Hawaii the word 'aloha' can mean either 'hello' or 'Dude, that sweater looks most comfortable.'
9. Most of the works attributed to William Shakespeare were actually written by Francis Bacon, who incidentally wrote them on the back of strips of bacon.
10. The Chevy Nova was recalled in Mexico when it was discovered that, literally translated, 'Nova' is Spanish for 'boring show on PBS.'
11. Grimace is the only one of the McDonaldland characters that does not have a beard and does not talk.
12. The fortune cookie was not invented in China, rather, it was invented in Portugal. The only difference was instead of fortunes paper money was used. Also instead of putting the money in a cookie, it was put in a leather billfold. Many credit this 'fortune cookie' as being the predecessor to the wallet.
13. To a German crowd President John F. Kennedy proclaimed "Eich bein ein Berliner." The intended to mean "I am a Berliner." Instead, due to a mispronunciation, he said "I am Marsellus Wallace's soul."
2. "Play it again, Sam" was never uttered during the film Casablanca, rather it was said in Gone With The Wind.
3. In the movie Cast Away Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) has a Fed Ex package that he never opens. Inside the package was Marsellus Wallace's soul.
4. Mikey (from the Life Cereal commercials) died from drinking BEER and Pop Rocks... and then driving.
5. With seahorses, it is the male that gives birth... to Marsellus Wallace's soul.
6. The phrase 'liar, liar, pants on fire' was coined by U.S. Senator Benjamin Borow in 1889 to describe fellow Senator Nathaniel Pants who had lied to the Senate. Borow then set him on fire.
7. During his 100 year life (including his work for the troops) Bob Hope never once wore shoes.
8. In Hawaii the word 'aloha' can mean either 'hello' or 'Dude, that sweater looks most comfortable.'
9. Most of the works attributed to William Shakespeare were actually written by Francis Bacon, who incidentally wrote them on the back of strips of bacon.
10. The Chevy Nova was recalled in Mexico when it was discovered that, literally translated, 'Nova' is Spanish for 'boring show on PBS.'
11. Grimace is the only one of the McDonaldland characters that does not have a beard and does not talk.
12. The fortune cookie was not invented in China, rather, it was invented in Portugal. The only difference was instead of fortunes paper money was used. Also instead of putting the money in a cookie, it was put in a leather billfold. Many credit this 'fortune cookie' as being the predecessor to the wallet.
13. To a German crowd President John F. Kennedy proclaimed "Eich bein ein Berliner." The intended to mean "I am a Berliner." Instead, due to a mispronunciation, he said "I am Marsellus Wallace's soul."
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Happy 4th of July Cecilla
In honor of the 4th of July I have translated Paul Simon's absurd Cecilia verse(for more info read thisJunk, to listen to this verse click here)
IN ENGLISH:
Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia,
Up in my bedroom, making love
I got up to wash my face
When I come back to bed
Someone's taken my place
IN ITALIAN
Facendo l'amore nel pomeriggio con Cecilia, nella mia camera da letto,
rendente ad amore mi sono alzato per lavare la mia faccia quando ritorno alla base Someone's presa il mio posto
BACK TO ENGLISH
Making infatuate in the afternoon with Cecilia, in my bedroom,
rendering to love they are raised me in order to wash my face when return to taken the Someone's base my place
Odd, aint it?
Let us try my wacky rendition from English to Japanese and back:
IN ENGLISH
Eating Lunch in the afternoon, by myself,
Up in my bedroom, eating lunch
I got up to wash my face
When I came back to bed
I sat on my plate
IN JAPANESE
私の表面を洗浄するために午後昼食を私が私によってが私の版で置かれたベッドにもどって来たときに、昼食を食べる私の寝室のの上で自分自身によって、食べて私は起きた
BACK TO ENGLISH
When returning to the bed which in order to wash my surface in the afternoon me with me is put in place lunch in my edition, eating with by my with respect to my bedroom eating lunch, I rose
Uh huh. Lets try my misinterpretation of the lyrics to "You May Be Right" from the same Junk. We will use Dutch this time.
IN ENGLISH
I've been stranded in the combat zone
I went to bed with Sly Stallone
IN DUTCH
I've vastgelopen in het gevechtsterrein ging ik met Sly Stallone naar bed
BACK TO ENGLISH
I've got bogged down in the fighting area I went with Sly Stallone to bed
Not good enough?
IN PORTUGUESE
Pena bogged começada I've na área de combate eu fui com Stallone sly alojar
BACK (AGAIN) TO ENGLISH
Penalty bogged started I've in the combat area I was with Stallone sly to lodge
Okey dokey. One last one, lets do "She's got a dirty mouth. And I mean a dirty mouth with dirt in it." This was in the 'Stupid Kids'Junk.
IN ENGLISH
"She's got a dirty mouth. And I mean a dirty mouth with dirt in it."
IN CHINESE
得到了一張骯髒的嘴。並且我意味一張骯髒的嘴以土在它。
BACK TO ENGLISH
She's obtained a dirty mouth. And I mean a dirty mouth by the earth in it.
What does this have to do with the 4th of July? I haven't figured that out yet. Perhaps it means that we are all different and the world needs to understand each other. Or maybe it means the USA RULES! Yeah, that's what it means!
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY
USA RULES!
美国规则!
American champion law!
(This post was originally posted for Memorial Day 2004. It wasn't funny then either)
IN ENGLISH:
Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia,
Up in my bedroom, making love
I got up to wash my face
When I come back to bed
Someone's taken my place
IN ITALIAN
Facendo l'amore nel pomeriggio con Cecilia, nella mia camera da letto,
rendente ad amore mi sono alzato per lavare la mia faccia quando ritorno alla base Someone's presa il mio posto
BACK TO ENGLISH
Making infatuate in the afternoon with Cecilia, in my bedroom,
rendering to love they are raised me in order to wash my face when return to taken the Someone's base my place
Odd, aint it?
Let us try my wacky rendition from English to Japanese and back:
IN ENGLISH
Eating Lunch in the afternoon, by myself,
Up in my bedroom, eating lunch
I got up to wash my face
When I came back to bed
I sat on my plate
IN JAPANESE
私の表面を洗浄するために午後昼食を私が私によってが私の版で置かれたベッドにもどって来たときに、昼食を食べる私の寝室のの上で自分自身によって、食べて私は起きた
BACK TO ENGLISH
When returning to the bed which in order to wash my surface in the afternoon me with me is put in place lunch in my edition, eating with by my with respect to my bedroom eating lunch, I rose
Uh huh. Lets try my misinterpretation of the lyrics to "You May Be Right" from the same Junk. We will use Dutch this time.
IN ENGLISH
I've been stranded in the combat zone
I went to bed with Sly Stallone
IN DUTCH
I've vastgelopen in het gevechtsterrein ging ik met Sly Stallone naar bed
BACK TO ENGLISH
I've got bogged down in the fighting area I went with Sly Stallone to bed
Not good enough?
IN PORTUGUESE
Pena bogged começada I've na área de combate eu fui com Stallone sly alojar
BACK (AGAIN) TO ENGLISH
Penalty bogged started I've in the combat area I was with Stallone sly to lodge
Okey dokey. One last one, lets do "She's got a dirty mouth. And I mean a dirty mouth with dirt in it." This was in the 'Stupid Kids'Junk.
IN ENGLISH
"She's got a dirty mouth. And I mean a dirty mouth with dirt in it."
IN CHINESE
得到了一張骯髒的嘴。並且我意味一張骯髒的嘴以土在它。
BACK TO ENGLISH
She's obtained a dirty mouth. And I mean a dirty mouth by the earth in it.
What does this have to do with the 4th of July? I haven't figured that out yet. Perhaps it means that we are all different and the world needs to understand each other. Or maybe it means the USA RULES! Yeah, that's what it means!
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY
USA RULES!
美国规则!
American champion law!
(This post was originally posted for Memorial Day 2004. It wasn't funny then either)
Friday, July 02, 2004
Off-beat vacation spots
Roadside America: It would be wrong of me not to direct you to this fine site it is the BEST place to find off beat travel spots.
Today, just in time for the forth of July, I present some of my favorites, many of which, you will not find on Roadside America.
_______________________________________________________
Sesame Place:
Do you have a trip planned to Langhorne Pennsylvania planned? No? Too bad, because it is home to the ONLY Sesame Street theme park in the world.
Many people mistakenly believe that "World Of Sesame" in Brazil is also a Sesame Street theme park. It is not, rather it is a sort-of spa where people soak in large vats of sesame seed oil to try to ward off evil spirits. If you ever go there tell Hector that Guy Hutchinson says "Hey, hey!" and that I still want my sneaker back.
Sesame Place is mostly a children's theme park, but can still entertain those who don't have any children.
For instance, who wouldn't want to have 'Dinner With Big Bird'? You can hug Big Bird and then chow down on a buffet that includes chicken fingers and chicken marsala. Yup, Big Bird serves you members of his own species, he is obviously very comfortable with his spot on the food chain.
Also at Sesame Place there are several live shows, water slides, a roller coaster and a rubber duckie the size of an SUV.
Wax Museums:
I love wax museums. There is nothing like seeing a wax sculpture of a celebrity in person. It's like being there with the celebrity, only much more fun. I spent 10 minutes once telling a wax statue of Eddie Murphy that I hated Metro. It was great.
My favorite wax museum is Movieland Wax in fabulous Buena Park California. They have some of the most AMAZING sets I have ever seen. The sets include a replica of the Oval office, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and a HUGE set of the Poseidon Adventure. They also have an amazing likeness of Mr. T.
Another wax Mr. T statue Movieland Wax in Niagara Falls Canada. The statue in Niagara Falls is not as good a likeness, and the two museums are not affiliated (despite the similar name.)
One thing about wax museums is, a bad wax museum can be better than a good one. In a wax museum in Myrtle Beach South Carolina there were statues of Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. They were all standing in a White House setting holding Bic pens and signing the Declaration of Independence. I am not sure if that statue or museum still exist, but I hope so. Then if aliens ever visit our planet they will believe that Lincoln, Washington, Carter, Nixon and Reagan were the fathers of our country.
Marvel's Adventure City:
A very unique theme park awaits your visit to Niagara Falls. Actually, it's more of an arcade, but It does have a few theme park rides and a theme park feel. Most interesting is the Spider-Man ride, a dark ride with guns and targets (not unlike Universal's Men In Black or Disney's Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin.)
Adventure City also features X-Men bumper cars. You may not see the tie in between X-Men and bumper cars at first, but think about it. If you were a mutant with metal rods extending from your knuckles, you would probably have a sub-par driving record; hence the bumper cars.
Gatorland:
Gatorland! This is really cool. Part zoo, part... uh gator habitat. The best way to put it is this: at Gatorland alligators JUMP 6 feet out of the water to catch hunks of chicken meat. If only Big Bird was holding the chicken meat it would be the GREATEST place on earth.
Gravity Hill:
A bizarre spot in Pennsylvania where gravity does not EXIST. You can park your car and drop a tennis ball on the ground and it will roll UPHILL. Or pour out a water bottle, it will flow up hill. Bring Flo from the TV show ALICE, hit her with the tennis ball and she will say "Kiss my grits" UPHILL!
There are 'Gravity Hills' in 7 different states, but the Pennsylvania one was the only one I found with a gift shop.
Many of the gravity hills are considered to be HAUNTED! Most have legends about kids being killed and deciding to pull cars up a hill in the afterlife, or a chicken's ghost that is getting his revenge against Big Bird by pulling cars up a hill.
Do you want to know how they work?
The road's slight "rise" is, in fact, a "fall." Yes, contrary to what the eye perceived, gravity hills are actually a decline.
See, they are not actually a place where natures laws do not apply, but an optical illusion created by the land, the trees, etc.
Cheers Bars:
It doesn't matter if you live on the East Coast or the West Coast, you have a Cheers Bar. Now, if you live somewhere in the middle, you don't have one. But, you have Piggly Wigglys so quit complaining.
Cheers Boston: This bar is the outside street location. Doesn't really look like it on the inside, but it is great to look at on the outside. This IS the place where Jay Leno did the live show after the airing of the final episode. If you do not remember, everyone was drunk and Carla cursed on live TV. So, maybe you can reenact that when you go.
Plus, at Cheers Boston, you can buy Norm's Nuts in a can.
I refuse to make any jokes about this! I will say, however, that according to the can Norm's Nuts are extra large and salted. Uh, lets move on.
The Hollywood Entertainment Museum: in fabulous Hollywood California features the FULL set from Cheers as well as several other shows. So you can SIT in Cliff's seat, you can stand where Sam stood behind the bar, you can walk into Rebecca's office! It is really amazing! During football season they open the bar up free for Monday Night Football. You can drink and eat in the Cheers Bar. Life doesn't get better than that!
Colonel Sanders Museum:
Located in Kentucky, this is the original Colonel Sanders' restaurant. It also features a museum full of KFC artifacts. Plus you can eat chicken there. If only the Colonel was dressed in a Big Bird costume.
Ride The Ducks:
In Philadelphia they have the most unique tour you are likely ever to take. You step aboard a WWII Duk vehicle and they drive you through historic Philadelphia. You see Betsy Ross' house, Ben Franklin's grave, Larry Fine's (Three Stooges) birthplace and more. Then you drive directly into the water and the bus becomes a boat. Everyone aboard gets a chance to steer the 'duck' and then the tour concludes. The tour is funny and educational, plus, you get a special duck whistle so you can quack at pedestrians.
let me repeat that:
If that isn't fulfillment of a life long dream, what is?
One note about the Ducks, in addition to 'Ride the Ducks' there was a competitor named 'Super Ducks'. 'Ride' offers you a duck whistle called a WACKY QUACKER, 'Super' will give you a QUACKY QUACKER. What is the difference? I don't know. But I am sure they are both QUACKTASTIC!
What is your favorite off-beat vacation spot?
Today, just in time for the forth of July, I present some of my favorites, many of which, you will not find on Roadside America.
_______________________________________________________
Sesame Place:
Do you have a trip planned to Langhorne Pennsylvania planned? No? Too bad, because it is home to the ONLY Sesame Street theme park in the world.
Many people mistakenly believe that "World Of Sesame" in Brazil is also a Sesame Street theme park. It is not, rather it is a sort-of spa where people soak in large vats of sesame seed oil to try to ward off evil spirits. If you ever go there tell Hector that Guy Hutchinson says "Hey, hey!" and that I still want my sneaker back.
Sesame Place is mostly a children's theme park, but can still entertain those who don't have any children.
For instance, who wouldn't want to have 'Dinner With Big Bird'? You can hug Big Bird and then chow down on a buffet that includes chicken fingers and chicken marsala. Yup, Big Bird serves you members of his own species, he is obviously very comfortable with his spot on the food chain.
Also at Sesame Place there are several live shows, water slides, a roller coaster and a rubber duckie the size of an SUV.
Wax Museums:
I love wax museums. There is nothing like seeing a wax sculpture of a celebrity in person. It's like being there with the celebrity, only much more fun. I spent 10 minutes once telling a wax statue of Eddie Murphy that I hated Metro. It was great.
Me: I hated Metro
Wax Eddie:
Me: Name one good thing about that movie! Name one!
Wax Eddie:
Me: I didn't think you could.
My favorite wax museum is Movieland Wax in fabulous Buena Park California. They have some of the most AMAZING sets I have ever seen. The sets include a replica of the Oval office, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and a HUGE set of the Poseidon Adventure. They also have an amazing likeness of Mr. T.
Another wax Mr. T statue Movieland Wax in Niagara Falls Canada. The statue in Niagara Falls is not as good a likeness, and the two museums are not affiliated (despite the similar name.)
One thing about wax museums is, a bad wax museum can be better than a good one. In a wax museum in Myrtle Beach South Carolina there were statues of Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. They were all standing in a White House setting holding Bic pens and signing the Declaration of Independence. I am not sure if that statue or museum still exist, but I hope so. Then if aliens ever visit our planet they will believe that Lincoln, Washington, Carter, Nixon and Reagan were the fathers of our country.
Marvel's Adventure City:
A very unique theme park awaits your visit to Niagara Falls. Actually, it's more of an arcade, but It does have a few theme park rides and a theme park feel. Most interesting is the Spider-Man ride, a dark ride with guns and targets (not unlike Universal's Men In Black or Disney's Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin.)
Adventure City also features X-Men bumper cars. You may not see the tie in between X-Men and bumper cars at first, but think about it. If you were a mutant with metal rods extending from your knuckles, you would probably have a sub-par driving record; hence the bumper cars.
Gatorland:
Gatorland! This is really cool. Part zoo, part... uh gator habitat. The best way to put it is this: at Gatorland alligators JUMP 6 feet out of the water to catch hunks of chicken meat. If only Big Bird was holding the chicken meat it would be the GREATEST place on earth.
Gravity Hill:
A bizarre spot in Pennsylvania where gravity does not EXIST. You can park your car and drop a tennis ball on the ground and it will roll UPHILL. Or pour out a water bottle, it will flow up hill. Bring Flo from the TV show ALICE, hit her with the tennis ball and she will say "Kiss my grits" UPHILL!
There are 'Gravity Hills' in 7 different states, but the Pennsylvania one was the only one I found with a gift shop.
Many of the gravity hills are considered to be HAUNTED! Most have legends about kids being killed and deciding to pull cars up a hill in the afterlife, or a chicken's ghost that is getting his revenge against Big Bird by pulling cars up a hill.
Do you want to know how they work?
The road's slight "rise" is, in fact, a "fall." Yes, contrary to what the eye perceived, gravity hills are actually a decline.
See, they are not actually a place where natures laws do not apply, but an optical illusion created by the land, the trees, etc.
Cheers Bars:
It doesn't matter if you live on the East Coast or the West Coast, you have a Cheers Bar. Now, if you live somewhere in the middle, you don't have one. But, you have Piggly Wigglys so quit complaining.
Cheers Boston: This bar is the outside street location. Doesn't really look like it on the inside, but it is great to look at on the outside. This IS the place where Jay Leno did the live show after the airing of the final episode. If you do not remember, everyone was drunk and Carla cursed on live TV. So, maybe you can reenact that when you go.
Plus, at Cheers Boston, you can buy Norm's Nuts in a can.
I refuse to make any jokes about this! I will say, however, that according to the can Norm's Nuts are extra large and salted. Uh, lets move on.
The Hollywood Entertainment Museum: in fabulous Hollywood California features the FULL set from Cheers as well as several other shows. So you can SIT in Cliff's seat, you can stand where Sam stood behind the bar, you can walk into Rebecca's office! It is really amazing! During football season they open the bar up free for Monday Night Football. You can drink and eat in the Cheers Bar. Life doesn't get better than that!
Colonel Sanders Museum:
Located in Kentucky, this is the original Colonel Sanders' restaurant. It also features a museum full of KFC artifacts. Plus you can eat chicken there. If only the Colonel was dressed in a Big Bird costume.
Ride The Ducks:
In Philadelphia they have the most unique tour you are likely ever to take. You step aboard a WWII Duk vehicle and they drive you through historic Philadelphia. You see Betsy Ross' house, Ben Franklin's grave, Larry Fine's (Three Stooges) birthplace and more. Then you drive directly into the water and the bus becomes a boat. Everyone aboard gets a chance to steer the 'duck' and then the tour concludes. The tour is funny and educational, plus, you get a special duck whistle so you can quack at pedestrians.
let me repeat that:
YOU CAN QUACK AT PEDESTRIANS
If that isn't fulfillment of a life long dream, what is?
One note about the Ducks, in addition to 'Ride the Ducks' there was a competitor named 'Super Ducks'. 'Ride' offers you a duck whistle called a WACKY QUACKER, 'Super' will give you a QUACKY QUACKER. What is the difference? I don't know. But I am sure they are both QUACKTASTIC!
What is your favorite off-beat vacation spot?
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Gamaliel
A Bunch O Junk children's story
"... and I have seventy-three Barbies, only, one of them doesn't have a shoe because my little brother was playing with it and he stuck it up his nose." Sheila beamed with pride for a moment, then sat down at her desk.
"O.K. Gamaliel." said Mrs. Beaglebottom "It's your turn. Tell the class something about yourself."
Gamaliel stood and looked sheepishly at his classmates.
"My name is Gamaliel" He said aloud. The class didn't seem impressed. Most of the students had their fingers in each others nostrils trying to find shoes.
"Go on, tell us more." Pleaded Mrs. Beaglebottom.
Without thinking Gamaliel just opened his mouth and started talking.
"I have the same name as former president Warren Gamaliel Harding!" The classmates were still too busy to notice. Gamaliel continued. "Actually almost all of the presidents had the middle name Gamaliel... Abraham Gamaliel Lincoln, George Gamaliel Washington, John Gamaliel Adams, John Quincy Gamaliel Adams, Gamaliel Quincy M.D., Benjamin Gamaliel Franklin, Bob Gamaliel Hope..." The class sat in a completely attentive state, "Even Sy Gamaliel Sperling, President of the Hair Club for people named Gamaliel.
"Wow" said a stunned student clad in an orange shirt.
"Yeah, you always have to vote for the candidate with the middle name Gamaliel, it's the law, it's in the Constitution." Said Gamaliel. He beamed for a moment, the sat down and pulled a shoe out of his nose.
THE END
"... and I have seventy-three Barbies, only, one of them doesn't have a shoe because my little brother was playing with it and he stuck it up his nose." Sheila beamed with pride for a moment, then sat down at her desk.
"O.K. Gamaliel." said Mrs. Beaglebottom "It's your turn. Tell the class something about yourself."
Gamaliel stood and looked sheepishly at his classmates.
"My name is Gamaliel" He said aloud. The class didn't seem impressed. Most of the students had their fingers in each others nostrils trying to find shoes.
"Go on, tell us more." Pleaded Mrs. Beaglebottom.
Without thinking Gamaliel just opened his mouth and started talking.
"I have the same name as former president Warren Gamaliel Harding!" The classmates were still too busy to notice. Gamaliel continued. "Actually almost all of the presidents had the middle name Gamaliel... Abraham Gamaliel Lincoln, George Gamaliel Washington, John Gamaliel Adams, John Quincy Gamaliel Adams, Gamaliel Quincy M.D., Benjamin Gamaliel Franklin, Bob Gamaliel Hope..." The class sat in a completely attentive state, "Even Sy Gamaliel Sperling, President of the Hair Club for people named Gamaliel.
"Wow" said a stunned student clad in an orange shirt.
"Yeah, you always have to vote for the candidate with the middle name Gamaliel, it's the law, it's in the Constitution." Said Gamaliel. He beamed for a moment, the sat down and pulled a shoe out of his nose.
THE END
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