Thursday, March 01, 2007

The Naked Hulk

Recently I decided to revisit the 2003 movie, Hulk.

I know there are a bunch of people that didn't like it, but I did. I enjoyed every butt-kicking moment of it.

The DVD is even better because of one thing:


Naked Hulk is all over the DVD. You see, when they make the computer generated Hulk for the movie they design him in the nude.

Then they add the clothes.

So each and every scene of the film that Hulk appears in has a naked counterpart.

Oh how I wish they had a nude Jennifer Connolly version.

Don't get too concerned. Naked Hulk isn't exactly anatomically correct. He has a "Ken doll bulge."


Front and back view of Naked Hulk:

This is just a basic look at the big naked green guy. Nothing special is happening, but you get a feel for who this Naked Hulk is.
Everything is exposed... yet there is mystery surrounding him.

Naked Hulk vs. a tank:

Now we get to the good stuff. Naked Hulk beats up a tank. He flips it over and makes is cry for it's tank mommy. "Oh mommy help me! A big green naked guy is beating me up. I think it might be Shrek."

Naked Hulk vs Naked Hulk:

I never thought it would come to this. A fight between two Naked Hulks. It's powerful, exciting and poignant. It's like in that movie Gettysburg when two brothers fighting on opposite sides of the Civil War came face to face. Only they weren't naked.
I don't know who will win, but I have my money on Naked Hulk.

Bald Naked Hulk with outstretched arms:

What happened to his hair!?!?! Maybe he decided to go with the whole Stone Cold Steve Austin/Britney Spears look. I dig it. I think his wingspan is impressive, too.

Naked Hulk picking up a giant globe thingie:

The way that the curvature of the globe matches the curvature of his rear end is reminiscent of the work of the artist Tidwell and his painting of the two dogs co-mingling. It's visually stunning and makes a powerful statement about man's fight against his planet.
Plus it has a whole lot of butt.

A bright red Naked Hulk:

I don't get this one.

A statue of Naked Hulk:

Wouldn't you like to have this on your mantle? Or in your front yard? How about in the bathroom? Or in the bathtub? Maybe it could be on the front porch, or the front stoop or the patio.
The possibilities are endless. Of course I am referring to the possible names for the steps in front of your house. You could call it a veranda or a vestibule or just call it Frank.
Endless possibilities.

Naked Hulk stretches out his shoulder:

Sure a mere mortal can pull a muscle when he does heavy lifting without stretching, but imagine what the NAKED HULK could pull.
I would rather not think about it.
I am glad he is stretching.

Naked Hulk racing some dude on a treadmill:

Sure Hulk isn't the brightest of superheroes, but Naked Hulk is BRILLIANT. Here he is racing some guy who is on a treadmill! Ha! Run as fast as you can stationary boy... you will never beat the Naked Hulk.

Odd size comparison between Naked Hulk, Mini Hulk and Regular Hulk:

As you can see Naked Hulk stands taller than Mini Hulk, but is a bit smaller than his purple pants-ed counterpart.

Wait... what?