Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The FBI Warning

How many times has this happened to you:

You watch a movie at home.


I bet it has. There you are, watching a DVD and before you even get to the film BAM you are scolded by the FBI.

It's pretty scary.

To make matters worse, you can't even skip through the warning or fast forward like you could in the days of VHS tapes.

I felt so strongly about the FBI warning that I wrote a song about it.

It's to the tune of the "Gilligan's Island" theme song (season one.)


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Just sit right back to watch a film,
or any other DVD.
And a message from the F.B.I,
is all that you will see.
You can't fast forward through the words,
and the skip button works no more.
You have to leave it on your screen,
for three seconds or more, three seconds or more………
The warning talks of commercial use,
to avoid at any cost.
And if you try to duplicate,
your freedom would be lost; your freedom would be lost.
The screen may scare the hell outta you and take away your smile,
with civil penalties,
and criminal too,
title 17,
of US code,
section 601,
and the rest...
All from the F.B.I.

I also rewrote the last few verses for the second season theme song:


The screen may scare the hell outta you and take away your smile,
with civil penalties,
and criminal too,
title 17,
of US code,
section 601,
the Professor and Mary Ann...
All from the F.B.I.


Hey! Remember how the END of Gilligan's Island had a different theme song?

I redid that, too.

So this is the tale of our strangers then,
they're here for a long, long time.
They'll have to make the best of things,
it should turn out fine.
The foreign guy and his cousin too,
will do their very best,
dating a couple of hot blondes,
with a nice caboose and chest.
With phones, and lights, and motor cars,
it's a life luxury.
Like Robinson Crusoe,
...maybe... I don't know... I don't read much.
So join us here each week my friend,
you're sure to get a smile.
From two mismatched roommates,
Here on Perfect Strangers.


Oh yeah, I wrote that one about the TGIF show "Perfect Strangers" not the FBI Warning. Sorry.

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