Monday, January 07, 2008

Rap Snacks

You know the feelin'. You just made some sucker mc call you sire and now you need nourishment.

You need da flava of RAP SNACKS!
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I will diss you I will dismiss you, if you gots whack snacks.

But if you got Rap Snacks?

They make your back crack, knees freeze and your liver quiver. They make... ah, screw it. I am all outta Dusty Rhodes' quotes.

Soooooo, yesterday I was in a Big Lots store. If you have never been to one, it's like if K-Mart had a dumb ugly brother. Or like a dollar store that just doesn't get the whole "dollar" thing.

Anyway, they have Rap Snacks... but only the Stat Quo version. See each chip has it's own rapper... and package... that you could actually call a wrapper if you wanted to be weird.

Stat Quo is an Atlanta based rapper who's debut album was entitled Statlanta. Lots of critics said "stattaboy" when they heard the album. He statributes his success to his dope rhymes and stattitude. his favorite character in A Bug's Life was Princess Statta and his favorite Star Wars toy was a Stat Stat Walker.

I could do this all day. I promise I will stop now. Don't stattack me! Ok, I am really stopping now.

Anyway, Stat Quo is a very successful rapper, but I guess his chips aren't.

Big Lots had shelves of them for just 80 cents a bag. I hated to ruin my stappetite but I ate the whole bag. Ok, I am really, really stopping now.

Stat Quo has an amazingly good sour cream and extra cheddar chip. I bought as many bags as I could carry... 4. I really got to start going to a gym.

The chips are the "Official Snacks of Hip Hop." No foolin'.

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