Star Trek on Hollywood Boulevard

I have never been a big Star Trek fan.

I didn't watch it when I was a kid, and neither did any of my brothers. As a teen I had some friends that liked Star Trek, and I tried to "get into it" but it seemed like a lot of work.

To really enjoy Star Trek it seemed like you had to memorize the names of dozens of alien races and try to understand a complicated timeline.

So, I may never fully appreciate Star Trek. But I sure do appreciated the Star Trek Mural on Hollywood Boulevard.



The mural is located on the roll-up security doors of a souvenir shop at the corner of Hollywood Boulevard and Cherokee Street. The shop is open early and stays open late, 365 days a year. If you wanna see the Star Trek mural you better wake up early, skip breakfast and head to Hollywood Boulevard.



All you favorites are here! You get to see Captain Kirk and the guy with the pointy ears!



You can look at the painting and shout "How YOU doin' James Doohan?"



You can look at Nichelle Nichols and say "Hey! There were black people in Star Trek?"

Then with any luck, a hobo will shout "Of course, look at Lando Calrissian." Then, just as you are about to correct him you will remember that hobos can be dangerous so you toss a dollar in his direction and run like hell.

The Star Trek mural is just one of many security door murals on the Walk of Fame. The murals are part of an ongoing beautification project. Often there is a reason for putting the mural in that particular place. For example, this one is located at the same corner that Leonard Nimoy's Walk of Fame star occupies. I also saw Gene Roddenberry's star near by.

Other murals depict everyone from Orson Wells to Chuck Berry. I found two featuring famous men and puppets:

First there was, Edgar Bergen along with his dummy Charlie McCarthy.



Not too far away Jim Henson and Kermit cover up a metal door.


During the day only a few of the murals are visible since the shops behind them are open. Still, few stores anywhere carry anything that would be better to look at then a giant picture of Kermit The Frog.

Vincent J. McMahon and a shirtless Ed Asner

There are many significant moments in the history of cinema:

Rhett Butler saying "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn."

The end of E. T. when Elliot told him "I do give a damn."

and

Vincent J. McMahon chatting with a shirtless Ed Asner.


Sadly, the moment with Vince and Ed is not as well known as it should be.

First, let me explain who Vincent J. McMahon is. He is the late father of the WWE head Vincent K. McMahon.

The senior McMahon ran the WWF before it became the WWE back when it was called the WWWF.

Did that make sense to anyone but me?

Anyway, he was responsible for naming Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant. He helped along the careers of many great wrestlers and once sat next to a shirtless Ed Asner.

The image is fantastic. Here a dour looking Asner looks down at his left hand as his right hand holds a cigar. Seated beside him is a tanned and concerned Vincent J. McMahon.

What is he concerned about? Is he wondering who the sexy pair of legs belong to behind Asner? Is he wonder if Asner is also "pants-less?" Is he wondering when the scene will be over so he can drink his screwdriver?

Yeah, thats probably it.

The scene is from a mid 1970's film called The Wrestler.

It's an odd bit of cinema about some wrestlers trying to fix a match. The plot is easy to follow and really not that bad (for a wrestling movie.)

Among the way you get to see such fun sights as Ric Flair wrestling Pedro Morales, Ken Patera lifting weights and Dick Murdoch & Dusty Rhodes pouring beer in some guys hat.

It's quite a treat to a classic wrestling fan.

But the scene that grabbed me most was the McMahon/Asner scene. It features Asner (playing a promoter) sitting around a table with a half dozen REAL promoters of the day, most notably McMahon.

McMahon delivers a few lines and isn't half bad. Some of the other promoters have lines and some are a bit stiff in their delivery.

Of course, that could just be due to the presence of a shirtless Ed Asner.

A photo of Sweetie and Mr. T wearing cowboy hats

It's quite an odd photo, isn't it.

About a month ago I found an article on-line that hinted that Mr. T might be on hand at the Gloucester County 4-H Fair sometime during the Fair's four day run.

He is busy shooting episodes of his reality show "I Pity The Fool" and one local farm might be featured in an episode.

After a couple of well placed calls I had all the information I needed. Mr. T was going to fly into New Jersey on Thursday July 28th and would be heading out on Friday night.

Somewhere in between he MIGHT be at the fair.

Thursday night I hopped into the Sweetie-mobile and took the 90 minute drive to South Jersey.

Before you start picturing scenes from the opening credits of "The Sopranos" let me stress one thing:

This is SOUTH Jersey.

It's really like the "South."

I loved it. The Gloucester County 4-H Fair has all the things you would expect a 4-H fair to have.

If you tip the right person, they'll even tell you what the four H's stand for. (I have been sworn to secrecy on two of them, but I can tell you one of them is for Jalapeños.)

Here is a sheep:


Anyway, Thursday night ended up being totally "T" free.

No mention of him anywhere. A query at the information booth revealed that there was a chance he would be there on Friday.

Friday July 28, 2006 I arrived at the fairgrounds bright and early. Still, no sign of Mr. T. So I watched cows eat for hours.



Although this was more fun than it sounds, it still was no match for actually MEETING Mr. T. I was starting to think this was as good as it would get.

Then I saw some show biz types. They stuck out like a sore thumb. They even stuck out more than me since I had been clever enough to buy a cowboy hat so I could walk around incognito.

The show biz types were scouting the grounds and putting up signs.

These signs:


Finally! A glimmer of hope! Perhaps the dream of being photographed side by side with the "one and only" Mr. T while wearing a cowboy hat would be coming true.

(I know you saw the photo at the top of the page, but pretend you don't know the outcome of the story yet. It's more fun.)

Still, even with some show biz types around I had not found Mr. T.

But I did find a tiny horse with the most adorable little bangs:



Then as I walked away from this crazy midget horse, I heard the unmistakable voice of Mr. T.



Clad in an outfit FAR too hot for that particular day Mr. T stood behind a barn chatting with locals and being shielded from the heat by an umbrella held by a member of his entourage.

Mr. T spotted me (in my Mr. T shirt) and called me over where we took the following photo:


For the next 8 hours Mr. T was driven back and forth from his trailer to the main "horse show" area many times.



When he was in main area he did all kinds of really cool Mr. T things.

He dispensed advice to riders:


He sat in the crowd and cheered for riders:


And he became a rider:


Plus, when he wasn't shooting he made a point of greeting every single person at the fair.

He told us the show premieres on TV Land on October 11, 2006. This particular episode will be aired a couple weeks later.

It was awesome. I was even interviewed for the local paper, the Gloucester County Times.

Here is an excerpt from the article that appeared in the paper a day later (written by Trish Graber):

His arrival did not cause much stir at the agricultural fair, but for one hard-core fan who drove from Princeton for the chance to see Mr. T, it was the highlight of his week.

"I have thousands of (Mr. T) items," said Guy Hutchinson, who wore a black T-shirt with Mr. T's mug plastered across the front. "I've been across the country to see him."

Hutchinson drove to the fairgrounds two days in a row to see his favorite actor, since organizers did not announce whether he would appear Thursday night or Friday.
"He's so nice to everyone," Hutchinson said, after having his picture snapped with Mr. T.

And of Mr. T on the horse, Hutchinson said it was definitely worth traveling for.

"It's certainly a different side of Mr. T," he said.

A different side indeed.

Many thanks to Mr. T who is still the coolest celebrity on the planet.

Also, I want to point out that when it was written that seeing Mr. T was the "highlight of (my) week" it is worth noting that this was the highlight of a PRETTY COOL week.

In addition to seeing sheep and cows and funny little horses, I saw the Phillie Phanatic (at a Phillies/Diamondbacks game):


I also went to a balloon festival:


Still, it is true that Mr. T was the highlight of the week:

Donald Duck's Prehistoric Breakfastosaurus at Restaurantosaurus

At Disney's Animal Kingdom in Orlando Florida they have a daily event entitled:
Donald Duck's Prehistoric Breakfastosaurus at Restaurantosaurus

I say event because with a name like that you could hardly just call it a meal.

It's one of my favorite things to do ANYPLACE in the world because:

A. I love Walt Disney World
B. I love breakfast
C. I love Donald Duck
and
D. I love anything with a funny spelling

Really, I do. If you are selling a product and you want me to be interested , take away the letter "s" and replace it with a "z."

I will buy it.

Make the name even more ridiculous, I will buy more.

For example:

Sausages = O.K.
Zausagez = Awesome
Snausages = Totally awes- wait, that's a dog food.

It's a bad example, but it does help explain my affinity for Donald's character breakfast.

Anyway, if you haven't been to a Disney character breakfast before, here is how it works.

You show up and eat and throughout your meal about 5 costumed Disney characters come to your table for photographs or autographs.

It saves you the hassle of waiting in line for these characters later in the park, because lets face it, no one wants to go to Walt Disney World and leave WITHOUT a picture with Mickey Mouse.

Plus, as an adult it's often hard to get a photo with Disney's costumed pals because kids have a habit of jumping in front of you. I usually yell at them and push 'em aside, but some people have trouble building up the courage to shove other people's children.

So for them, a character meal is a must.



Character meals can be lunch or dinner, but most are breakfast.

And that is what Donald Duck's Prehistoric Breakfastosaurus. It's an all you can eat buffet, they say "all you care to eat" because it is not a requirement that you ingest as much as you physically can.

But, why wouldn't you.

The price is $18.99 a person, which seems a bit pricey. Still, Walt Disney World is generally expensive. If you don't like their prices, stay in your own world.



Donald is the host here, and he is outfitted here with a special dino-themed sailor suit. Remember, it's "prehistoric."

Not the food, however, that's pretty fresh.

They have the usual eggs, bacon, pancakes, fruit and sausage.

If only they had Zausagez!

They do have hot plates. Hot, hot, hot plates. Often so hot that you can't hold 'em. So hot that you food starts to melt when you put it on the plate. I hate when restaurants do that.

I hate it more when restaurantosaurus' do that.

Donald's buddies at this breakfast are Mickey, Goofy and Pluto all whom appear in their dino-themed vacation clothes.



They don't stay very long at your table. Just long enough to take a picture or sign an autograph.

I never get autographs. It seemed stupid to me even as a child. So when they get to my table they stop long enough to be photographed and then move on.

So sometimes I don't bring a camera.

It throws them COMPLETELY off their game.

They just kinda stand around and do schtick for you. It's pretty funny.

After they walk away I use some hand sanitizer to kill the kiddie germs that may have been transfered from Pluto's hand to mine.

Kids are filthy. Watch one for five minutes if you don't believe me.



After you met everyone, ate your eighteen dollars and ninety-nine cents worth of zausagez (humor me on this one), you pay the bill and move on.

But your memories last a lifetime.

Although you may find it hard to remember the full name: Donald Duck's Prehistoric Breakfastosaurus at Restaurantosaurus.

You, Me, Steely Dan and Dupree

It sure seems like a big joke, but I still scratched my head when I read the following headline:

STEELY DAN ACCUSES OWEN WILSON OF PLAGIARISM

I scratched my head for three reasons:

1. I didn't know Steely Dan was still around.
2. I couldn't imagine what Owen Wilson could steal from them.
3. My scalp is just itchy. Perhaps I need to try a new shampoo.

Here is the whole story:

Owen Wilson stars in and possibly produces the new film You, Me and Dupree. I say possibly since I am too lazy to check the IMDB, but I am pretty sure I saw his name more than twice.

I would like to state for the record that I often feel like I am in a hypnotic trance when I watch Owen Wilson. I think his nose some unearthly powers.

The film tells the story of a married couple (Matt Dillon and Kate Hudson) who have an unwelcome house guest. The guest is a lovable loser with a bizarre hypnotic nose (Owen Wilson.)

Steely Dan claims the concept of the film is a rip off their song, "Cousin Dupree."

Rather than sue, Steely Dan chose to pen a letter- to Owen's actor brother Luke Wilson.

The letter reads (in part):
They write: "Your brother has gotten himself mixed up with some pretty bad Hollywood schlockmeisters."

They then go on to say:
"What we suspect may have happened is this: some hack writer or producer or whatever they call themselves in Malibu or Los Feliz apparently heard our Grammy winning song "Cousin Dupree" on the radio and though, hey, man, this is a cool idea for a character in a movie or something..."

They offer to settle the entire matter by having Owen come to their concert and make a public apology. They even offer to give him a bunch of free T-Shirts and key chains.

On the negative side, they threaten to have one of their buddies beat Owen if he doesn't show.

The entire, expletive laden, open letter can be seen here.

It seems from the tone of the letter that they are joking... or that they're crazy. I am not really that familiar with them to be able to tell.

I can take a stab at analyzing the 2001 song "Cousin Dupree."

COUSIN DUPREE

Well I've kicked around a lot since high school
I've worked a lot of nowhere gigs
From keyboard man in a rock'n ska band
To haulin' boss crude in the big rigs

Boss Crude? Wasn't that the villain in the Sewer Shark Sega CD game?

Now I've come back home to plan my next move
From the comfort of my Aunt Faye's couch
When I see my little cousin Janine walk in
All I could say was ow ow ouch

I know, at first it sounds like something vaguely sexual, but I hear that cousin Janine had Endometriosis, which is a very painful disease. Believe me, you would say ow ow ouch if you saw her.

Honey how you've grown
Like a rose
Well we used to play
When we were three
How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree

Ooops, never mind. Dupree is a pervert.

She turned my life into a living hell
In those little tops and tight capris
I pretended to be readin' the National Probe
As I was watchin' her wax her skis

The National Probe? That's gotta be as painful as Endometriosis! Maybe I should move to Canada.

On Saturday night she walked in with her date
And backs him up against the wall
I tumbled off the couch and heard myself sing
In a voice I never knew I had before

I'll teach you everything I know
If you teach me how to do that dance
Life is short and quid pro quo
And what's so strange about a down-home family romance?

Wait, now I remember, Quid Pro Quo was the villain in Sewer Shark! God I loved that game.

One night we're playin' gin by a cracklin' fire
And I figured I'd make my play
I said babe with my boyish charm and good looks
How can you stand it for one more day

She said maybe its the skeevy look in your eyes
Or that your mind has turned to applesauce
The dreary architecture of your soul
I said - but what is it exactly turns you off?

If only he had hypnotized her with his nose, Steely Dan would have had a better case.

Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure: An 8 Part Saga

For a (not so) brief moment I was obsessed with this movie. Now you can read all about it here:

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

PART FOUR

PART FIVE

PART SIX

PART SEVEN

PART EIGHT

Personally, I suggest you skip the whole thing.