Thursday, June 22, 2006
Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure
Life is grand, aint it?
I thank god, everyday, that I live in these United States. A land of freedom, a land of opportunity and a land of Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure.
It almost brings a tear to my eye.
A few weeks ago I was in line at a CVS drug store. The line was not moving. Customer after customer got to the front of the line and then proceeded to spend 5 minutes looking for their CVS card.
So, in a fit of boredom I walked away from the line. I set down my would be purchases (12 wrestling magazines) and sauntered toward the door.
Then, mid-saunter, I saw it.
BABY HUEY'S GREAT EASTER ADVENTURE.
Good lord, that story was anti-climactic.
Anyway I am sure you want to know all about this cinematic masterpiece, so I will answer all the questions I assume you would ask.
QUESTION: Is this a real movie? Or is it some kind of sing a long video.
ME: Yup. It's a real full length movie, with real actors.
QUESTION: Real actors?!? Like who?
ME: The guy who played Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley.
QUESTION: Really? And who were the real actors?
QUESTION: So, what was the name of the guy who played Squiggy?
ME: David L. Lander.
QUESTION: Lander? Not Landers? That's odd. Doesn't a name like Lander demand to be pluralized?
ME: I think it does.
QUESTION: What would his name be if he was on The Flintstones?
ME: Probably David L. Landstone.
QUESTION: Yeah. That would be cool. What about when Rock Hudson was on the Flintstones. Did they change his name to Rock Hudstone? Or was the "rock" part enough?
ME: I don't think he was on the Flintstones. Maybe you are thinking of Stoney Curtis.
QUESTION: Maybe. Remember Ann Margrock?
ME: Yeah, she was great.
QUESTION: Remember when Stone Phillips was on?
ME: No, I don't think he was on.
QUESTION: What about Sharon Stone?
ME: No. But in the Flintstones movie Halle Berry played a character named Sharon Stone.
QUESTION: Really?!? Wow. Remember when The Rock was on The Flintstones?
ME: No, he wasn't.
QUESTION: What about Rocky McStoneyrock?
MEL: Now, you just made that up.
QUESTION: Hey! Who's Mel?
ME: That was a typo, I meant to type "me."
MEL: No you didn't! Why are you so ashamed of me?
ME: I don't know. I just am.
MEL: I have a question about the Baby Huey Movie.
MEL: What happens in it? Is there any hot chicks in it?
ME: Not really. Marcia Brady is in it, but she's really old now. It's a cute little movie about a boy who befriends a guy in a giant chicken costume.
MEL: Why didn't you spend your money on one of those "Girls Gone Wild" videos instead? What are you a retard?
MEL: Dude, they go really, really wild.
ME: Wasn't there a movie called the Rugrats Go Wild?
MEL: Yeah, but they didn't really go wild. I think All Dogs Go to Heaven once went wild.
ME: I'll have to check that out.
MEL: Alright, take it easy. Remember the Mel-man is with you!