Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Walk of Fame: Vol. C, Part 6

George M. Cohan MP

Congressional Medal Winner and writer of such songs as Yankee Doodle Dandy, Cohan worked as an writer, composer and occasionally as an actor.

Arthur Cohn MP

Swiss born Cohn has produced 18 films over the past 40 years. Most of his films have been art house flicks such as 1995's Two Bits.
If he decides to produce Armageddon II or a film starring a talking monkey, I might be interested in learning more about him.

Claudette Colbert MP

Star of many motion pictures including It Happened One Night and the 1934 version of Cleopatra.

Natalie Cole Rec

Famed singer who, in 1975, was the first black singer to win the "Best New Artist."

Nat King Cole Rec
Nat King Cole TV

Famed singer who starred on TV's "The Nat King Cole Show." His real name was Nathaniel Adams Coles. Technically he was not a king.

Constance Collier MP

As an actress, Constance appeared in over two dozen films between 1919 and 1949. One of her most notable films was Alfred Hitchcock's The Rope. She was a playwright with a handful of titles to her name.

William Collier MP

Appeared in dozens of movies between the mid teens and early 1940s. He was usually billed fifth or sixth below big stars such as Bob Hope in Thanks For the Memory and James Cagney in Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Gary Collins TV

A TV staple even today, Gary Collins has hosted many talk shows and acted in roles on everything from Fantasy Island to Jag.

Joan Collins MP

An award winning actress with a long career, highlighted best by her work on Dynasty. She also replaced Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, when Liz became ill, only to have Liz replace her when she recovered.
She did get her revenge years later when she replaced Taylor in the role of Pearl Slaghoople in The Flintstones film series.

Michael Collins TV

Here is a unique one! Michael Collins was an Apollo 11 astronaut. He and his fellow crew members are honored with a special moon shaped "star" on Hollywood Boulevard.



Phil Collins REC

The Genesis and solo rock star, Phil Collins has had seven number one hit songs in the United States... despite looking like a grown up Charlie Brown.

Bud Collyer Radio
born Clayton Johnson Heermance Jr., Bud was a very famous radio host who later became a TV star as the host of
Beat the Clock
.
They tried to revive that show decades later, but the concept of "beating" a clock seemed too politically incorrect... so they just gave the clock a "time out."
(Sorry, I let Bazooka Joe help write jokes on this one.)

Ronald Colman MP
Ronald Colman TV

Honored in TWO categories, Ronald was a British born TV and film actor known for his rich voice. He hosted the TV show Four Star Playhouse and was seen on the movie screen playing the popular character Bulldog Drummond.
He also played the voice of Donald Duck, a Donald Duck look-alike and Donald Duck's Internal Monologue in three different cartoon. Each time his deep voice was used as a humorous contrast to Donald Duck's regular voice.

Jerry Colonna Radio

A comic member of the Bob Hope radio show, Jerry was also seen in many of Bob's comedy specials sporting his trademark handlebar mustache. Jerry is perhaps best known to today's audiences as the voice of the March Hare in the Disney animated film Alice In Wonderland.

The Walk of Fame: Vol. C, Part 7

Perry Como Radio
Perry Como TV
Betty Compon MP
Heinie Conklin MP
Chuck Connors TV
Hans Conreid TV
John Conte TV
Bill Conti MP
Jack Conway MP
Tom Conway TV
Tim Conway TV
Jackie Coogan MP
Clyde Cook MP
Donald Cook MP
Sam Cooke Rec
Alistair Cooke TV
Spade Cooley Radio
Alice Cooper Rec
Gary Cooper MP
Jackie Cooper MP
Jeanne Cooper TV
Meriam C. Cooper MP
David Copperfield LT
Wendell Corey TV
Roger Corman MP
Don Cornelius TV
Don Cornell Rec
Charles Correll Radio
Ricardo Cortez MP
Bill Cosby TV
Pierre Cossette TV
Dolores Costello MP
Helene Costello MP
Lou Costello MP
Lou Costello Radio
Lou Costello TV
Maurice Costello MP
Kevin Costner MP
Joseph Cotten MP
Jerome Cowan TV
Wally Cox TV
Buster Crabbe TV
Broderick Crawford TV
Broderick Crawford MP
Joan Crawford MP
Laird Cregar MP
Richard Crenna MP
Laura Hope Crews MP
Scatman Criothers TV
Donald Crisp MP
John Cromwell MP
Richard Cromwell MP
Richard Crooks Rec
Stills & Nash Crosby Rec
Bing Crosby MP
Bing Crosby Radio
Bing Crosby Rec
Bob Crosby TV
Bob Crosby Radio
Norm Crosby TV
Milton Cross Radio
Andrae Crouch Rec
Tom Cruise MP
Frank Crumit Radio
Celia Cruz Rec
James Cruze MP
Billy Crystal MP
Xavier Cugart TV
Xavier Cugat Rec
George Cukor MP
Bill Cummingham Radio
Constance Cummings MP
Irving Cummings MP
Robert Cummings MP
Robert Cummings TV
Alan Curtis MP
Tony Curtis MP
Jamie Lee Curtis MP
Michael Curtiz MP

Friday, February 15, 2008

Mr. Roper flashing gang signs

Mr. Roper is one of my all time favorite TV characters. He was so good that I might just prefer him OVER Don Knotts as Mr. Ferly. It's a tough call.

Wow. I am torn.

On one hand you have Don Knotts making bug eyes at the camera and on the other hand you have Norman Fell doing that limp-wristed motion and calling Jack "Tinkerbell."

They even did an episode where both the Ropers and Mr. Ferly appeared. It must have been amazing to be there for the Roper/Ferly summit.

Outside of Threes Company Don Knotts wins hands down... but on that show... it's so close.

I'm stalling here. I am just trying to fill space.

See, I have three images for you and they don't even need any text. This just makes me feel like I did something other than post a couple pictures.

Hmmm.

What do other people do to waste time?

Top ten lists! Remember when David Letterman used to do those top ten lists? I am sure he stopped that years ago since the whole idea just reeks of 1993. I bet he stopped around 1994 or 95.

I also bet his show is still funny and creative just like it used to be back then.

(I live in a world of denial.)

But, when the top ten lists became a phenomena all the sudden they were ripped off everywhere. I even have an unauthorized "top ten list" board game.

Heres my top ten list:

Top 10 Things Overheard at the Roper/Ferly Summit:

10. Why would I order ham... I have Mr. Roper right here!

9. Ferly? Is that some kind of muppet?

8. Roper (rope her)? I hardly touched her!

7. The secret to the bug eyes... it's HGH!

6. Buttafouco

5. Actually, Jack Tripper is straight... it's John Ritter that's gay.

4. Janet is always game for a roll in the hay... if you know what I mean.

3. Do you know what I mean?

2. Roll in the hay... sex... you know?

1. JANET IS A TRAMP YOU STUPID OLD FOOL!

Anyway, I found an episode of Family Feud that Norman Fell appeared on. The episode was some "Heroes vs. Villains" showdown and Norman Fell was one of the villains.

I never really though of him as a villian... until I noticed he was signaling his homies.


LOOK AT THAT! He is making some gesture to his fellow villains!


See!


After the show I am sure Norman did a drive by at Suzanne Somers house.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Dukes of Family Feud

The classic game show Family Feud is now available in a "best of" DVD set.

I got my hands on this and I was really excited to see that amid a fantastic group of celebrity guests, the cast of The Dukes Of Hazzard were listed.

What a thrill! The Duke boys on the Feud! This is more exciting than that time I thought I had eaten all the leftover pizza, but then I opened the fridge and there was a slice left.

Oh boy!

LOOK AT THAT!
From left you have Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane, Luke Duke, Daisy Duke, Uncle Jesse (not the one from Full House) and Boss Hogg.

Wow.

That couldn't be more exciting.

Then later on the DVD is ANOTHER Dukes episode of Family Feud!


Oh man! How sweet! I wonder who they will have this time? Will they swap out Bo for Luke? Uncle Jesse for Cooter? Roscoe for Enos?

Ah, the anticipation I had as the curtain opened...

And then I see this:

Suddenly I was brought to tears and a trombone player knocked down the door to play "wamp waaaaah" sound that they make on Let's Make a Deal whenever the deal sucks.

SEE IT???

LOOK AT IT!

THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE UNCLE JESSE!


I WOULD HAVE EVEN SETTLED FOR UNCLE JESSE FROM FULL HOUSE!!

INSTEAD I GET THIS:

STARE AT IT UNTIL YOUR EYES BLEED:

I'm sorry. I am just a little disappointed.

Let's take a look at these jokers.



OK, here is my best guess.. from RIGHT to left we have: Richard Dawson, Cletus, my cleaning woman, that dude that works at the bagel shop that fooled around with Tina Testarelli she and I were dating back in '98, the secretary from Ferris Bueller's school and Gilbert Gottfried.

Let's take a closer look.

Thats Rick Hurst who played Cletus Hogg on the show from 1980 to 1983. Look at how proud he is!
At first I thought he would be ashamed to introduce Dawson to this raggedy bunch that they cobbled together, but then it dawned on me: this group of useless meat sacks is the ONLY crowd that Cletus would get to rule over.

Next to Cletus is



This sexy thang is Lindsay Bloom who played Myrtle, the telephone operator, on the show. Cletus says she over hears all of the gossip that way. I have a vague memory of her relaying dirt to Boss Hogg.
I also have a vague memory of her in a wet t-shirt in the flick H.O.T.S..

Even that doesn't make me happy to see her on this show. I'd rather see Uncle Jesse in a wet t-shirt. Either Uncle Jesse.

Next up is this guy:

Cletus tells us this is a member of the Duke family...
But it ain't Bo or Luke.

Heck, it ain't even Coy or Vance (the fake Duke boys.)

Nope, this is cousin Jeb Stuart Duke.

He appeared on ONE EPISODE.

No foolin'.

This means that he appeared on an equal number of Family Feud episodes judging by this photo alone.
Look at his IMDB page:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I found this post on a Dukes fan site (yes, there is a Dukes fan site... plenty of them in fact.)


Julieduke
Senior Member
Hazzardite for life Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Colonial City
Posts: 4,113

Jeb Stuart Duke
I had watched the show" Along Came a Duke" and the actor that played him was cute. I had thought him and Bo looked a lot alike. Where has he been after he before I know I have seen him somewhere before.


I don't know where else you saw him, Julieduke, but I bet you will wanna stop by my house next weekend!
I am having a Jeb Stuart Duke-a-thon. It's going to be a marathon showing of the complete catalog of Christopher Hensel performances. It will be from 6pm to 7pm on saturday (that time includes a dinner break.)

Afterwords we will be trying to figure out how you could have 4,113 different posts on the subject of the Dukes of Hazzard.
Then again, I probably have written that many jokes about the concept of there being two different "Uncle Jesse's" on TV.

Perhaps I should just shut my big mouth.

Next up is Peggy Rea who played Lulu, Boss Hoggs wife:

Now, don't get me wrong, Lulu was a funny character who appeared on a handful of episodes, but does she really belong on the Family Feud?
I can only imagine the sadness of anyone that tuned in to see the stars of the Dukes of Hazzard and gets... this:

I have seen better casts on a fishing show for re-re's.

Finally we have Jeff Altman:

Jeff had starred in Pink Lady and Jeff where I bet he played Pink Lady.

He appeared in a total of SIX episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard.

He played Hughie Hogg who was probably Boss Hogg's nephew.

Well, I gotta run. I wanna see if this parade of mediocrity can beat The Jeffersons.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Temporary Teeth

The other day I started brushing my teeth and something odd happened. My tooth fell out.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Actually, it wasn't as surprising as you think. I have two capped teeth and the one that fell out had been loose for a long time.

Still, it was a little odd. I called the dentist and they promised to take me that afternoon.

So, looking like Luke Williams I stepped out of the house.

If you know who Luke Williams is you are probably laughing your head off. If not, here's a picture:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
If you are a wrestling fan who just didn't recognize the name Luke Williams you know him better as one half of The Bushwhackers. NOW I bet you are laughing.

If you don't follow wrestling, you are probably scared to death by that picture.

Regardless, I had my missing tooth and I was out on the town. I got a few stares and I made a couple children cry. Then I was off to the dentist.

The dentist decided that it was time for both capped teeth to go. In order to make posts for the brand new teeth the dentist ground the old teeth down into little fangs:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Pretty dang cool, eh?

Then they took some molds, did some minor gum surgery (to make the new teeth fit) and made me a set of temporary teeth.

Here are the molds and the temporary teeth:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

You may notice that the temporary teeth are actually just one big piece that looks like two teeth.

Yesterday I was fitted with my new permanent porcelain veneers:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
What a nice smile!

Still, I will never forget the time I spent with my temporary teeth.
I hope you never forget me, Temporary Teeth.
Remember that time I wanted to open my DVD copy of Karate Dog, the movie about a dog that did karate? Remember how I had trouble getting the shrink wrap plastic to tear. But you grabbed that plastic and pulled that package open.
Remember that Temporary Teeth? Then we watched that movie and there was a dog that did karate in it?
I remember when I laughed and laughed at all the karate that was being done... by a dog! You were right there, every time I opened my mouth to chuckle.

I love you Temporary Teeth.

And remember when we ate some ribs at T.G.I. Fridays? We really liked those ribs, didn't we, Temporary Teeth? I remember the meat got stuck in my teeth so I started to floss as soon as I got in the car. You wanted me to floss at the table, you animal! Temporary Teeth, you are such a lovable brute!

Remember when I tried to floss you, then I realized you were just one big double tooth? We laughed and laughed.

Remember when we in Italy and the bread salesman tried to sell me so bread with a burnt crust? Remember how you bit my thumb as I cursed him and his goat? That was quite a day.

Thanks for watching my back, Temporary Teeth.

I love you Temporary Teeth. I will love you forever...