Not too long ago I attended a Barry Manilow concert in Philadelphia. I know, I'd make fun of YOU if you went, but still I have no problem admitting that I went, I had a good time and I joined his fan club.
The fan club membership was free with purchase of the concert tickets, but hey, I had to fill out a card, mail it and open the envelope when it arrived.
It's not easy being a member of the Barry Manilow Fan Club, but someone has to do it.
Here is what I got:
All this AND your undying jealousy. I am a lucky, lucky man.
What a big bunch of fun stuff. I spent, literally, 10 seconds looking at this stuff before stashing it my hope chest.
Let's take a close look at that stuff:
This is a small glossy picture of Ellen Degeneres. I am not sure why they sent it.
I am also not sure if that was an Ellen joke or a Manilow joke.
Then there is this:
This gigantic thing is supposed to be a membership card. It's cleverly shaped like a diner place mat. I am going to need my extra large purse to carry it.
This was my favorite item:
The "For A Good Time Call..." sticker. This one scared me. I think it might be some kind of weird Barry Manilow phone sex thing. Maybe if you call it he sings Copacobana without pants or something.
I didn't know what to it at first. So I stuck it on my Rosie O'Donnell doll:
Then I stuck it to my Little Man poster:
In the end I just stuck it to the back of some dude's pants. Then I laughed and laughed.
I also got an ad for the Manilow Christmas album:
This is probably my twelfth favorite Christmas album (falling between Larry the Cable Guy's "Very Larry Christmas" and Ken Patera's "Christmas is for Wimps."
I don't remember what this was:
Then there was this:
A nice little Manilow Fan Club pin. It is equally good for wearing to concerts, formal events or for popping a blister on your foot.
Finally there was an ad for a Manilow Visa:
It's got his picture on it. Maybe I can get one and charge a new plasma to Barry's account.