Thursday, November 16, 2006

Wag The Dog

Way back in 1997 Wag the Dog showed up in theaters across the country. The film was a modest hit making forty some million bucks at the box office.

I went to see it. I couldn't turn down the chance to see a Dustin Hoffman and Robert De Niro flick. As a bonus, (one of my all time favorite actors) Woody Harrelson appears in a killer cameo.

Still, the experience was marred by some doofus in the front row. He had the stupid laugh- kinda like when Goofy laughs in a Disney cartoon.

Hoo hoo hoo.

If that wasn't enough, he punctuated each loud laugh with the words "oh no!"

And he laughed at everything.

And then said "oh no!"

I wanted to punch him.

He even laughed when Willie Nelson's name appeared in the credits.

Then he said "oh no!"

Jeez. How do you tell a guy to stop laughing during a comedy? Could I just tap him on the shoulder and say "could you stop saying 'oh no'?"

The movie itself became the subject of a whole lot of news about a month after it's release.

Hoo hoo hoo, oh no!

In the film the President creates a fake war with Albania after a sex scandal breaks out involving.

In real life, Bill Clinton's sex scandal was followed up by three military campaigns:

Operation Desert Fox: A three day bombing campaign against Iraq.

Operation Infinite Reach: Missile strikes in Sudan and Afghanistan.

Operation Allied Force: A month long bombing spree in Serbia.

Is it just me, or do all of our military campaigns sound like Chuck Norris films?

Anyway, even though Bill Clinton was actually using real bombs to kill real bad guys, some found similarities to the FAKE war in the film.

Not only that, but take a look at the photo of the accuser in the film with the movie "president."

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It looks very similar to the famous photo of Clinton with "that woman."

Also, the movie was directed by Barry Levinson. There are 8 letters in "Levinson" and 7 letters in "Clinton." A difference of 1...


Whoooo, scary.

Al Jazeera liked the similarities and ran a bootleg copy of the film on TV to mock Clinton.

If I was Clinton I would have mocked Al Jazeera for having a network with a name that sounded like R & B singer Al Jarreau.

So stupid, what's next? Do they have a sister station named Clarence "Frogman" Henry?

Hoo hoo hoo, oh no!

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