Monday, September 25, 2006

Lil James Madison: The Smallest President

Born in 1751, James Madison was to become our smallest President.

Standing five foot four and weighing a slight one hundred pounds, Madison was the cutest little President you ever did see.

Take a look:

Image Hosted by

Don'tcha just wanna pick him up and give him a hug? Then muss up his poofy hair so it looks like a big old paper cone covered in cotton candy.

Or maybe one of those funnel cakes. Mmmm. Those are great. With powdered sugar on top. Whoo hoo.

Or maybe like a bucket of chicken...

Uh, I better finish this off so I can go to lunch.

Madison was the eldest of twelve children. I did a little research, if you combined the weight of ALL twelve of the Madison kids it would be just UNDER the weight of the two oldest Baldwins.

Madison was raised in the Church of England which was the state religion of Virginia at that time. I don't know anything about the church of England, but I bet they added the letter 'U' to at least one word in every sentence in their bible. I bet they also secretly admit that even the British don't 'get' British humor.

Madison attended the College of New Jersey (later to become Princeton University), finishing its four-year course in two years. He was so exhausted by this amount of work that he was sick for quite some time.

The moral of this story is "NEVER OVERACHIEVE." Or maybe it's "cute little presidents just need to lie down and nap more."

When he got better, he served in the state legislature and followed in the footsteps of Thomas Jefferson. He became a prominent figure in Virginia state politics, helping to draft the state's declaration of religious freedom.
Then some other stuff happened, he married Dolly Madison and he became a tiny little president.

I got get lunch.

Interesting facts about Madison:

Madison was a second cousin of the 12th U.S. President, Zachary Taylor.

Madison was the first US President who wasn't the vice president to the previous president.

Madison County, Ohio is named after James Madison.

His last words were, "I always talk better lying down."

Interesting facts I just made up about Madison:

When scrambled his last name sorta spells "Son Is Mad." He had children and occasionally they got mad.

His most prized possession was his collection of Peter Tork autographs.

He liked the taste of buttermilk so much that he considered making it the "National Taste." He also considered making it the "National Milk," the "National Butter" and the "National Broadcasting System."

His last words, "I always talk better lying down," were often quoted by future President Bill Clinton. Clinton said this usually to get female reporters into bed. The rest of the time he said it to get skinny dudes with long hair into bed. We all get lonely sometimes.

No comments:

Post a Comment