Friday, May 26, 2006

The bunchojunk.com Closet

Sadly not everything in life gets finished. We all have tons of evidence of this in our homes. A pattern for a tie we INSISTED we would sew. A model car kit that has never been assembled. A pair of button-fly jeans that we never made the effort to button.

So what do we do? We stick it in the closet promising to one day "finish" it.

Well, bunchojunk.com has a closet and the damned thing is full. Full of opening paragraphs, odd facts and photos.

I'll never get around to any of it. So, rather than just toss all these ideas away, I have decided to share them. Take a look:


Here is an opening paragraph that had something to do with Oprah and Don King. I don't recall what point I was making.

Don King has become such a big part of Americana that few people even know that he promotes boxing matches. The same can be said for Oprah. Actually, it can't. She never promotes boxing matches.


Hysterical. Too bad it will never be finished. Still, now you can try and imagine what may have been.

What about this unfinished review of Coke Blak.

I try every soda I can get my hands on. I wanted to


Yeah, theres a great sentence and a half.

Here's a conversation that was cut from one of the eBay posts and saved for a future post that never happened.

DOCTOR EBAY: You need an operation. Your gall bladder is made out of chocolate.
SWEETIE: Says you! I say it's made out of "I Can't Believe It's Not Chocolate."
DOCTOR EBAY: You mean butter.
SWEETIE: Why do we fight?
DOCTOR EBAY: Because you don't love me anymore.


How about a photo of me wearing a Fred Flintstone shirt and standing with Kermit the Frog.

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Comedy at it's purest, is it not?


Still, it is not as great as this list of 7 things that either feature Paul Hogan or pepperoni:

1. Flipper (With Paul Hogan)
2. Pepperoni calzone
3. Crocodile Dundee In Los Angeles
4. Crocodile Dundee 2
5. Late Night With David Letterman episode 1102 (Dave interviews Paul Hogan)
6. Pepperoni pizza
7. Late Night With David Letterman episode 1391 (Dave eats a pepperoni pizza)


How about this wacky joke:

I want to make a point here! Everyone has a kdw hoki32y8y2ih2ijkdhkjhdldkh dlkhjk jsjdsj sjjjs - sorry, my cat stepped on my keyboard.


How about this wackier joke:

I want to make a point here! Everyone has a kdw hoki32y8y2ih2ijkdhkjhdldkh dlkhjk jsjdsj sjjjs - sorry, my kangaroo stepped on my keyboard.


How about this WACKIEST joke:

I want to make a point here! Everyone has a kdw hoki32y8y2ih2ijkdhkjhdldkh dlkhjk jsjdsj sjjjs - sorry, Vice President Dick Cheney shot my keyboard.


Oh, the hilarity.

Speaking of which, lets close with a photo of me making out with a fish.

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5 comments:

  1. Junk that wasn't good enough for bunchojunk? Fascinating!

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  2. I don't know, but I think you had enough for five posts crammed in there. Share the wealth.

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  3. First of all, is Kermit wearing a hawaiian shirt under his coat?

    Second I'd argue that the unfinished Coke Blak review isn't unfinished but a great article. It has a strong opening sentence and it leaves the reader wanting more. I'll call that one a success, but what do I know. I can barely make more than one post a month.

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  4. I say you keep the Fred Flintstone shirt in the closet.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Does that fish have a sister?

    ReplyDelete