Stills from Superman IV

Superman IV.

It's frequently cited as the absolutely worst of the Superman flicks, but I find some charm in it.

First of all, it's short. Really, really short. Good or bad, it doesn't last too long.

Second of all... uh... well, at least it's short.

Recently Warner Brothers put out a big ole 14 disc Superman set. I picked one up and immediately jammed the Superman IV disc in my DVD player and this is what I saw:

Yeah, this guy. Nuclear Man, Lex Luthor's answer to Superman. Lex cloned this dude by using a strand of Superman's hair. That's why this dude has such cool, cool hair.

Speaking of cool, check out the ad on the top of the cab in the background!

Herbie Hancock, Soupy Sales and Laura Branigan! Man! That is some show. I would pay to see that. Soupy could hit Laura in the face with a pie and then Herbie could make some robot mannequin kick Laura in the butt.

That would be great.

This is the part of the movie where Lex appears in Times Square and sings "Hello Dolly."

What I found more interesting is this area:

First you have an all nude show for 25 cents. I would love to see that. Especially if the nude girls were dancing on a pole, but then they took the pole outta the ground and used it to hit Laura Branigan.

Hmmmm, maybe I should speak to someone about my anger toward her.

Also, this shot shows a movie theater that I used to call the "Enemy of the State" theater. I called it that because that was the last film they showed. Then for about 2 years that was on the marquee. I used to take my photo in front of it, figuring if the police ever arrested me in connection with a crime that took place during the time period that Enemy of the State was playing I could use that photo as an alibi.

Of course, I hadn't really committed any crimes when the movie was out... other than the threatening letter I sent to Laura Branigan.

The only thing that is really interesting here is that the sign behind Superman says "New York."

Superman isn't from New York, he is from Metropolis. Sure Metropolis looks just like New York, but it isn't.

Yeah, they have a Times Square and a Statue of Liberty, but they AREN'T New York. Although, this as seems to imply that there is a New York somewhere in Superman's universe and they also have a Statue of Liberty.

This means that the French gave out TWO statues.

Stupid French people... is Laura Branigan French?

Here is my favorite still. HEY! Look, that lady has an "I Love NY" bag!! If only we could ask her where it was.

The cart struck me as even more interesting:

Wow.

To start with, they have Burger King cups. I have no idea how he got them, but the hot dog guy has Burger King cups.

And he has "Hot Bagels."

His hot dogs are $1, but hot sausage is only 15 cents! Why are pretzels a dollar if knishes are only 10 cents?

And what the hell is a souvlaki?

I don't know, but if I had one I'd share it with Laura Branigan.

It's the least I could do after all she's been through.