Stills from Superman IV

Superman IV.

It's frequently cited as the absolutely worst of the Superman flicks, but I find some charm in it.

First of all, it's short. Really, really short. Good or bad, it doesn't last too long.

Second of all... uh... well, at least it's short.

Recently Warner Brothers put out a big ole 14 disc Superman set. I picked one up and immediately jammed the Superman IV disc in my DVD player and this is what I saw:

Yeah, this guy. Nuclear Man, Lex Luthor's answer to Superman. Lex cloned this dude by using a strand of Superman's hair. That's why this dude has such cool, cool hair.

Speaking of cool, check out the ad on the top of the cab in the background!

Herbie Hancock, Soupy Sales and Laura Branigan! Man! That is some show. I would pay to see that. Soupy could hit Laura in the face with a pie and then Herbie could make some robot mannequin kick Laura in the butt.

That would be great.

This is the part of the movie where Lex appears in Times Square and sings "Hello Dolly."

What I found more interesting is this area:

First you have an all nude show for 25 cents. I would love to see that. Especially if the nude girls were dancing on a pole, but then they took the pole outta the ground and used it to hit Laura Branigan.

Hmmmm, maybe I should speak to someone about my anger toward her.

Also, this shot shows a movie theater that I used to call the "Enemy of the State" theater. I called it that because that was the last film they showed. Then for about 2 years that was on the marquee. I used to take my photo in front of it, figuring if the police ever arrested me in connection with a crime that took place during the time period that Enemy of the State was playing I could use that photo as an alibi.

Of course, I hadn't really committed any crimes when the movie was out... other than the threatening letter I sent to Laura Branigan.

The only thing that is really interesting here is that the sign behind Superman says "New York."

Superman isn't from New York, he is from Metropolis. Sure Metropolis looks just like New York, but it isn't.

Yeah, they have a Times Square and a Statue of Liberty, but they AREN'T New York. Although, this as seems to imply that there is a New York somewhere in Superman's universe and they also have a Statue of Liberty.

This means that the French gave out TWO statues.

Stupid French people... is Laura Branigan French?

Here is my favorite still. HEY! Look, that lady has an "I Love NY" bag!! If only we could ask her where it was.

The cart struck me as even more interesting:

Wow.

To start with, they have Burger King cups. I have no idea how he got them, but the hot dog guy has Burger King cups.

And he has "Hot Bagels."

His hot dogs are $1, but hot sausage is only 15 cents! Why are pretzels a dollar if knishes are only 10 cents?

And what the hell is a souvlaki?

I don't know, but if I had one I'd share it with Laura Branigan.

It's the least I could do after all she's been through.

The Gary Coleman/Robert Guillaume "The Kid" Trilogy

Here is an odd trilogy of flicks I watched recently:

The Gary Coleman/Robert Guillaume "The Kid" Trilogy.


It's very odd. I am not sure it's even a real trilogy. But, there are some signs that point that way.

Take a look at the titles of the three TV films that Gary Coleman and Robert Guillaume made together.

Oh wait, you probably don't know them. Sorry.

They are:
1979's The Kid from Left Field

1982's The Kid with the Broken Halo

1983's The Kid with the 200 I.Q.

Look at those titles! Doesn't that indicate a trilogy? However, Coleman and Guillaume played different characters in each film.

I always liked Gary and Robert Guillaume, but I never saw these films until recently.

See I stumbled across "The Gary Coleman Show" on cartoon network. On it Gary played an angel. The cartoon seemed vaguely familiar to me and I was hooked simply because I wanted to find out how Gary died to become an angel.

Seriously, that's a pretty sad way to start a kids cartoon.

After doing a bit of research I found out about the movie. Then, like peeling away the layers of an onion I found little pieces of info on the other two films.

None of them was available on DVD, but I was able to get each on VHS cassette for just a few dollars on eBay.






The Kid from Left Field:
This was actually a remake of an old 1950's film. In it Guillaume plays a popcorn vendor and Coleman plays his son... the manager of the San Diego Padres.

Yup. The son coaches the team and dad is a vendor. Must make him feel like Robert Guil-LAME!!! (I have been waiting for weeks to use that joke.

Ed McMahon is the manager of the team and... oh yeah... Guillaume's a drunk.

Still, despite a bit of heavy drama with the alcoholic dad, it's a fun and light movie. I think there were three or four other films in the 1990's with the same plot. One of them also featured angels!






The Kid with the Broken Halo:
Did ya catch my super smooth segue? Did you know what a segue was? Did you know that's how it was spelled? Are you still laughing at the Guil-LAME comment?

Anyway, Gary plays a dead kid who makes friends with a bunch of grumpy "live" people as Guillaume looks over his shoulder.

Gary befriends an old actress and a football player... who is also a drunk! Man, the 80's must have been a really drunk time. I wish I had been old enough to enjoy it.

This one was so popular it spawned the cartoon I mentioned before.

BTW, there was no Robert Guillaume character in the toon. For some reason he was replaced by a nerdy red haired chick.







The Kid with the 200 I.Q.:
This one was a bit more dramatic than the other two, but at least there weren't any drunks.

There are many odd scenes where Gary talks about sex.

Yup.

Try and imagine it.

Anyway, the film is about Gary, a smart kid who goes to college at the age of 10 or something. The kids pick on him and his professor (Guillaume) is rally mean and he can't get any sex... really.




So, I bought these films on eBay. I also bought the one where Gary lives in a locker at Grand Central Station and I have a bid on the one where he plays a Cub Scout stuck in a cave.

I can't say it was the best investment I ever made, but I had about 3 hours worth of good VHS fun.

Sadly the combined running time was closer to 5 hours.