How to write a Cracked.com article

When I was a kid Cracked magazine was the number 2 humor magazine for kids. I have no stat to back this up, but it has to be true.

While most of my friends had silly "It's not as good as MAD" hang ups, I didn't care. I bought both MAD and Cracked (and Crazy) whenever I had enough money.

Well, eventually they went under and became a website that was, for a time, very funny.

What in the hell happened?

It's paint by numbers nonsense. Slightly above the quality of this site, sure... but they have actual advertisers.

Here is how the Cracked.com articles usually go:

The title is usually quite presumptuous. It always claims to have some "amazing" facts or "secrets" or whatever and assumes you don't know them.

You probably do.

Comedy. Who needs it?

Poorly written paragraph of "secret" info that's widely known? CHECK! Image stolen from some other site? CHECK! Random sentence that sounds almost like comedy? CHECK!

Good gravy!?! Why on earth do you need to go to 3 pages to read an article that has less words than your average Tweet?

Because Cracked.com needs the page views! Keep clicking. There may be a joke in there... if not, read the comments. Between the vaguely racist and awkward comments, there may be something that might get a smile from ya.

Go to Cracked.com if you please. I'm sticking with this: