Friday, January 23, 2009

My Menu Board

It may not surprise anyone that my life is full of obscure movie quotes. I constantly use them and rarely cite the reference.

If you as me what's for lunch I will probably tell you that Alejandro prepared a delightful menu, Chilean sea bass I believe.

If you want something that is spicy yet sweet, but not for ladies... I'd say Chilean Lance Bass.

But that's neither a movie reference or a menu item.

The Chilean sea bass line comes from Jurassic Park and (so far) has not graced the menu board in my kitchen, but a few other odd movie lines have been written on the board.

Here is what the board looks like right now:

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Yankee Bean Soup... with spoon.

Do you get the reference? It's from Muppets Take Manhattan, it's the special that the Big Ragu looking guy tells Kermit the Frog about.

It made me laugh when I was a kid and when I watched the movie again last month I felt it was time to change the board.

Previously it had said:

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(artist conception)

Frogdogs with fries $1, with onion rings $2.

I had an ongoing dare for this one. If you could tell me what movie I was referring to I'd give you $10. I even had a $10 bill stuffed behind the board for a few weeks.

Luckily none of my friends needed $10 enough to Google "frogdog" because then they probably would have found out it was also from Muppets Take Manhattan.

If you remember the film, Kermit and the gang head off to NYC where they try to sell a play. Unfortunately Kermit gets hit by a car and thinks his name is Phil Phillip Phil.

So as the rest of the gang prepares for the show, Kermit joins an ad agency and marries a Muppet dog named Samantha Pop.

Then nine months later Samantha Pop gives birth to a hideous frog/dog Muppet.

Kermit then summons the powers of the dark lord Beelzebub and cooks the mutant child on a pyre.

Then craving the flesh of mutants Kermit eats the Muppet, but only after first cooking some fries and onion rings and paying himself for the feast.

I'm sorry. I got a little too dark there.

Sorry, really.

Anyway, the frogdog line was actually from the Michael J. Fox and James Woods film The Hard Way. In the movie Woods orders a hot dog that is inexplicably called a "frogdog" there is also a scene in the movie where L.L. Cool J licks his lips and professes his love for the culinary treat of frogdogs.

Not kidding on that one. Seriously, was the Kermit the Frog stuff THAT much more bizarre than that?

Another menu board featured this:

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(artist visualization)

Four fried chickens, 1 Coke.

This is a little less obscure, but still makes me smile. It's from The Blues Brothers (it's what Belushi orders when the go to Aretha Franklin's diner.)

I have changed the board a couple of other times. I think it said "pork chops and apple sauce" (from the Brady Bunch) and I seem to remember writing some kind of joke based on the war films Hamburger Hill and Pork Chop Hill.

One day I just wrote Cookie Puss and Fudgie the Whale on the board. I wasn't being very creative, but I wanted to make a tribute to Tom Carvel's masterworks.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Filming Locations from The Wrestler

If you haven't seen the movie The Wrestler yet, don't worry. I'm not going to spoil any major plot points. If you haven't seen Marley & Me... THE DOG DIES. Yup.

Anyway, I did see The Wrestler and it's now one of my all time favorite wrestling pictures (ranking somewhere in between No Holds Barred and Nacho Libre.

Since the movie used lots of actual New Jersey locations I packed up a few Celine Dion CDs and hit the road.

Stop #1:
Vintage Mode in Elizabeth NJ

In the film Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei visit a vintage clothing shop on Elizabeth Avenue in Elizabeth NJ.

How appropriate given that Rourke plays a wrestler named Randy and Randy Savage was a wrestler who was managed by Miss Elizabeth.

I could only imagine that if his character was named Muraco they would have shot the movie in Fuji, Japan or if his name was Bigelow they would have shot it in Oliver Humperdink, Nebraska.

Here is Rourke standing on Elizabeth Avenue. The van parked on the right is his character's van.
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And here is a picture I took. The black car is mine. I tried to park in the same spot, but I think Randy (Rourke) was parked illegally.
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Here is the shot of (Cassidy) Tomei:
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The window looked almost the same today. Of course, the shot the movie less than a year ago:
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Inside Randy and Cassidy looked at jackets:
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I couldn't find that jacket, but I did find a similar looking green jacket. Here I am holding it:
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The owner of the store was very nice. She hadn't seen the movie and was very concerned that her store didn't look "junky" in the flick. She had an autographed picture of Tomei and a T-shirt with Rourke's face hanging on the wall:

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Next stop was the Acme. Acme is an East Coast grocery store chain... and I think they also supplied the Coyote with Roadrunner traps.

In the film Randy works at the deli counter:
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Here I am standing in front of that very deli counter (and feeling a bit silly being photographed at a grocery store deli counter):
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Here is Randy walking down one of the aisles:
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And here is that same aisle today:
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Fascinating isn't it?

Ahh, maybe not.

Here is a more exciting location:
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Cassidy works at a gentleman's club... and by that I mean one where women take their clothes off... not one where gentlemen sit around in top hats and monocles and watch monkeys ride on tricycles. If you know where one of those places is, please tell me.

I don't know where they filmed the interiors, but the outside was a club in NJ called Cheeques. Get it? Like butt cheeks only spelled gayer. They even have a butt on the door:

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This is also where they shot a scene where Cassidy leaves through the back door of the club and sits in Randy's car in the parking lot:
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Here is the back door:
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In the back of the parking lot was another area that was shown in the film a few times:

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In the movie they stuck a fake pay phone here and Randy goes here to make phone calls.

After my day of location scouting I came home with a couple souvenirs:
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I have that green jacket and one of those "take a number thingies" I took a number... I just never gave it back.

I also picked up something at the strip club, but the doctor gave me some pills and said it should clear up in a week or two.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Hey There, It's Yogi Bear!

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This is one of those movies that I am glad I waited for.

Hey There, It's Yogi Bear was released in movie theaters in 1964. I wasn't born, but if I was I would have been in a theater watching From Russia With Love... but after that I would have definitely made my next trip to theater a trip to see Hey There, It's Yogi Bear.

Just the name makes me smile.

They finally put this out on DVD and although it doesn't have the special features I would hope for, it did have a widescreen transfer and nothing classes up a poorly drawn Hanna Barbara production like some W I D E S C R E E N.

If I had my way, however, the DVD would have a deleted scenes, an alternate ending (where Yogi eats Ranger Smith) and a commentary track featuring Yogi Berra where he apologizes for ripping Yogi's name off... or asks Hanna Barbera for an apology for ripping him off... I am not sure which is the case.

The film opens with Boo Boo waking up from hibernation and he runs to Yogi's cave to wake him up. Then you get about 10 minutes of pic-a-nic basket stealing fun. Then they start to sing.

Whaaa?

I can except that a bear would stand upright, wear a tie AND a shirt collar- but no shirt OR PANTS! But he can sing? Preposterous.

Anyway, Cindy Bear (Yogi's love interest and possible relative judging by the last name... actually don't judge... it's a bear thing. We don't like it when others criticize our culture, so we shouldn't judge the bears.)

Where was I? Oh, right:

Anyway, Cindy Bear is pretty central to the story here. See, she loves Yogi and Yogi just wants to eat. But he can't because the Ranger keeps coming around and pointing to the "don't feed the bears" sign.

But why? I have never seen Ranger Smith feed Yogi. So what should he eat? I looked at the backgrounds and they are far too poorly drawn to contain adequate honey to feed Boo Boo- let alone Yogi.

Hungry as a beast (remember he JUST finished hibernating) Yogi goes up to the window of a diner and shoots an arrow into the restaurant.

I SAT IN TERRIFIED SILENCE AS THE ARROW EMERGED FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RESTAURANT COVERED IN MEAT.

Luckily it was food, not hunks of a waiter or a patron.

You know, maybe the Ranger should let 'em feed the bears just so he doesn't accidentally shoot someone.

Ranger is really, really mad. Remember how angry you were when they killed off Dan Conner on the last episode of Rosanne? Well, I had stopped watching two years before, but when I overheard someone say that when the DVD came out last year... I was really teed off.

Teed off enough to send a bear to San Diego.

So was the Ranger and that is what he does... only Yogi fools another bear to go in his place. Then he hides out on the lam... or lamb... I don't know the right term and spell-check is no help at all.

It might be lam because lamb sounds just silly.

Anyway as he is on lam/lamb Cindy starts to miss him and purposely gets the Ranger angry enough to send her away.

When Yogi finds out... he goes of the lam or lamb and tries to find her.

Cindy, meanwhile is in the circus. And although everything I have ever heard from protesters outside every circus I have ever attended seemed silly... this movie proves it.

THEY KEEP THE BEARS IN CAGES.

Suddenly the Ranger seems like a saint.

Well, will Yogi rescue her? Will Yogi and the Ranger have a showdown in the streets of New York? Will I ever learn the truth about Yogi Berra and the word "lam"???

The only way to find out is to watch this movie... and assume that I never learn from my mistakes... I only publish them.

Hey There, It's Yogi Bear!

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This is one of those movies that I am glad I waited for.

Hey There, It's Yogi Bear was released in movie theaters in 1964. I wasn't born, but if I was I would have been in a theater watching From Russia With Love... but after that I would have definitely made my next trip to theater a trip to see Hey There, It's Yogi Bear.

Just the name makes me smile.

They finally put this out on DVD and although it doesn't have the special features I would hope for, it did have a widescreen transfer and nothing classes up a poorly drawn Hanna Barbara production like some W I D E S C R E E N.

If I had my way, however, the DVD would have a deleted scenes, an alternate ending (where Yogi eats Ranger Smith) and a commentary track featuring Yogi Berra where he apologizes for ripping Yogi's name off... or asks Hanna Barbera for an apology for ripping him off... I am not sure which is the case.

The film opens with Boo Boo waking up from hibernation and he runs to Yogi's cave to wake him up. Then you get about 10 minutes of pic-a-nic basket stealing fun. Then they start to sing.

Whaaa?

I can except that a bear would stand upright, wear a tie AND a shirt collar- but no shirt OR PANTS! But he can sing? Preposterous.

Anyway, Cindy Bear (Yogi's love interest and possible relative judging by the last name... actually don't judge... it's a bear thing. We don't like it when others criticize our culture, so we shouldn't judge the bears.)

Where was I? Oh, right:

Anyway, Cindy Bear is pretty central to the story here. See, she loves Yogi and Yogi just wants to eat. But he can't because the Ranger keeps coming around and pointing to the "don't feed the bears" sign.

But why? I have never seen Ranger Smith feed Yogi. So what should he eat? I looked at the backgrounds and they are far too poorly drawn to contain adequate honey to feed Boo Boo- let alone Yogi.

Hungry as a beast (remember he JUST finished hibernating) Yogi goes up to the window of a diner and shoots an arrow into the restaurant.

I SAT IN TERRIFIED SILENCE AS THE ARROW EMERGED FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RESTAURANT COVERED IN MEAT.

Luckily it was food, not hunks of a waiter or a patron.

You know, maybe the Ranger should let 'em feed the bears just so he doesn't accidentally shoot someone.

Ranger is really, really mad. Remember how angry you were when they killed off Dan Conner on the last episode of Rosanne? Well, I had stopped watching two years before, but when I overheard someone say that when the DVD came out last year... I was really teed off.

Teed off enough to send a bear to San Diego.

So was the Ranger and that is what he does... only Yogi fools another bear to go in his place. Then he hides out on the lam... or lamb... I don't know the right term and spell-check is no help at all.

It might be lam because lamb sounds just silly.

Anyway as he is on lam/lamb Cindy starts to miss him and purposely gets the Ranger angry enough to send her away.

When Yogi finds out... he goes of the lam or lamb and tries to find her.

Cindy, meanwhile is in the circus. And although everything I have ever heard from protesters outside every circus I have ever attended seemed silly... this movie proves it.

THEY KEEP THE BEARS IN CAGES.

Suddenly the Ranger seems like a saint.

Well, will Yogi rescue her? Will Yogi and the Ranger have a showdown in the streets of New York? Will I ever learn the truth about Yogi Berra and the word "lam"???

The only way to find out is to watch this movie... and assume that I never learn from my mistakes... I only publish them.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

La Befana

January 6th is pretty important day to the children of Italy.

It is the day of La Befana.

La Befana (translated: The Befana) is Italy's version of Santa.

The story, like all good folk tales, has been told in many ways... but they way I know it is as follows...

On the way to see the baby Jesus, the Three Wise Men stopped by Befana's house in Italy. She let them stay for the night but declined their offer to join them in visiting the Christ child because she was too busy with her house work.
However, after they left she changed her mind and tried to track them down and give Jesus a doll she had made with the cloth from her wedding dress.
She never found Jesus or the Wise Men so she started giving gifts to all the children of the world on the eve of January 6th.


It's a nice story. Certainly a comparable story to the story of Santa Claus... but it gets better.

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La Befana looks like a witch. She even flies around on a broom. She has a long ugly nose, long white hair and is usually descibed as being scary looking.

She is descibed as being covered with soot and wearing tattered clothes. She also used to co-host The View.

Just like Santa, the kids aren't supposed to see Befana. If you do, she will hit you with her broom stick.

I swear, Befana is part Santa... part boogeyman.

And, just like Santa La Befana gives good children presents. I am told that a common one is oranges... and instead of putting them in your stocking, she sticks them in your shoes.

She also gives coal to bad children, and since all children are bad at some point in the year... ALL CHILDREN IN ITALY GET COAL.

Usually it's rock candy shaped like coal.

She also sweeps the floor. Soooo... part Santa... part boogeyman... part domestic help.

That is the story of La Befana.

A little odd, but is it really stranger than a man in the red suit that has flying reindeer and sneaks down your chimney and drinks the blood of the fallen?

I think not.

In conclusion, if you found some oranges in your shoes or noticed the floor to be extra clean this morning... Buon Natale!

Monday, January 05, 2009

Don't Wake Hulk

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Remember the board game Don't Wake Daddy? Neither do I.

Anyway, for Christmas I got the updated version of the game. It's called Don't Wake Hulk.

Based on the Marvel comic book... we all know these are based on Marvel's goal of making as much money as possible.

This "Hulk" is based on the Spider-man and Friends line which basically makes the superheroes look like a bunch of weird adolescents with extra large heads and undersized legs.


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The game play is pretty simple. You grab a playing piece (you can either be you can be either Spider-man, Drix (from Osmosis Jones), Freddy Krueger in a Yellow and Blue Mask or Halle Berry.

I chose to be Halle Berry... but as Jinx from the James Bond movie. It's the obvious choice. I already own an orange swimsuit.

After choosing your playing piece you put on on the start space.

Since I chose Halle Berry you might want to choose Drix.
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For some reason the game designers drew him with legs. Actually, maybe this isn't supposed to be Drix. It might be that superhero Morton Downey Jr. played in a recent movie... you know the one where he plays an iron man. I don't remember what they called the movie.

Anyway, Hulk is asleep in the center of the board. He even wears a purple cap to bed. I don't why he didn't revert to being Bruce Bixby when he dozed off... but I guess "Don't Wake The Guy Who Directed Blossom" wasn't a catchy enough game title.

So, before you roll the special Don't Wake Hulk die you have to deal out the cards.

The cards have other Marvel heroes and villains on them like Captain America or Ari Arad on them. Some just have odd things like flashlights... unless there is a superhero that turns into a flashlight that I don't know of. You could call him THE FLASH or JUDITH LIGHT.

Next you roll the die. It has a different color on each side. You then move your playing piece and if the space has a character that you DON'T have the corresponding card for you have to press Hulk's alarm the number of times indicated on the space. If you wake him... he breaks every bone in your body. If not Ari Arad arranges a reboot for the Hulk due in theaters before the end of the game.