The Lion King

Recently I became enthralled with the lovable story of The Lion King.

It's always been one of my favorite films, and after a recent trip to Walt Disney World I decided to pop the DVD into that machine that takes the DVD and coverts it into a movie so I can look at it on that TV looking thing.

After watching the movie I headed to Wikipedia to find out every bit of useless knowledge I could about this movie...

What I found shocked me to my very core.




Did you see what I saw?





Do you see it now?



LOOK AT THAT:




OF COURSE I WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE MS KONGSHAVN!

I would like to say that what I found out was that the link led to a funny New Yorker cartoon where King Kong had muscular distropy and was trying to shave.

No. Not at all.

I would also love to tell you that the story of MS Kongshavn and it's time as The Lion King is a story worth telling.

It's not.

But, that won't stop me.

In 1979 a ship was built named MS Turella in, Turku, Finland. The ship has changed owners and names several times. It was the MS Stena Nordica, MS Lion King and MS Fantaasia before becoming the MS Kongshavn.

The ship is probably the only ship to be sorta named after two Disney films: The Lion King (from 1996 to 1998) and Fantaasia (no that is not a typo... uh and 1998-2008. I wish I paid better attention in English class. I know there is some kind of parenthesis within a parenthesis rule.)

So, after reading about the ship I went back to watching the ENTIRE Lion King quadrilogy. You didn't know that they made 4 Lion King films? Then you are a stupid, stupid fool.

Here are my reviews:
The Lion King: Like the majestic MS Kongshavn, The Lion King sailed to the top of the box office. Ha ha ha ha.
Anyway, I love this film. The stuff with Timon and Pumbaa is hysterical. The dramatic storyline with Scar is top notch and the music is fantastic.

The Lion King II: Simba's Pride: This was later retitled The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. This was a Romeo and Juliet type story. It could have used more comedy, but it isn't bad. I was very disappointed on first viewing (in the late 1990s) but watching it again this week, it seemed much better.
Wikipedia says this:

Differences between DVD releases
On its initial release, The Lion King II: Simba's Pride was released in 1:33:1. For the special edition, this was changed to 1:66:1. Another major change to the special edition release was the quality of the image. It was lightened considerably and colors appeared brighter and slightly less saturated. Also, a small change in animation was present. As Kovu attempts to distract the crocodiles attacking both him and Kiara, he falls into the water and submerges a short time later. In the original release of the film, he yells open-mouthed as a crocodile swims towards him. In the special edition, he does not open his mouth as wide and turns his head sharply to face Kiara.

I am mildly disturbed that someone noticed that.

The Lion King 1 1/2: This is SUCH a funny movie. It starts out with Timon and Pumbaa watching the first Lion King film and then they decide to show us what they were doing during the first 40 minutes of the original film. The result is really genius. It's an excellent movie.

The Lion King: Circle of Life: An Environmental Fable: I am so sick of hitting the ":" key.
This is a 12 minute film that shows in Epcot. In it Timon and Pumbaa want to build a resort and Simba explains to him that stupid humans are polluting the earth with resorts and that he shouldn't build one or he is as bad as a person.
This film is being shown at the Walt Disney World resort.

Mickey Mantle at Hooters

Not too much to say about this one... but that never stopped me before.

In my local Hooters they have this photo on the wall of Mickey Mantle with the Hooter girls. They aren't girls from my local Hooters (Mickey was already dead when it opened) and they aren't even at a Hooters (this was probably just a photo taken at some event that featured both Mickey and Hooter Girls.



This is just one of the many 8x10s that get sent to a new Hooters when they open so they have something to put on the walls until they start to establish pictures of their own events.

So, as time marched on at my Hooters, this odd photo moved to the back room. Not an employee lounge or anything... just a dining area where they only seat people on Super Bowl Sunday or other ridiculously busy days.

In other words, very few people get to see this photo.

But now, you have.

I love it.

I love that the girls have they tied cotton shirts (this was before the spandex tops.)

I love the oh so 80s visors they wear.

And I love the fact that the Hooter girl is holding a baseball bat in front of Mickey Mantle's crotch.

Journey: The Video Game

Today there are flash games made for everything online. If you go to the website for any TV show they invariably have a little video game you can play by clicking on things or moving the arrow key on your keyboard.

It seems anyone can make one and in minutes. I bet there was a game online that simulates Michael Jackson's funeral... and I bet it was online before the funeral took place.

But until recently such things were unheard of.

In the 1980s making a video game was a several month and several billion dollar endeavor. I guess. I don't really know. I am just making a big fancy introduction for Journey: The Video Game.

It's hard to believe that Journey had ONE video game, but they actually had TWO... more if you count Rock Band or Guitar Hero games that include "Any Way You Want It."

But I don't "want it" that way. So it's two.



LOOK AT THAT FLYER!



This was created to generate a buzz for the Journey video game. It says "the hottest band in the country is about to take over the planet!" and you can tell they MEAN IT because it is in all caps. That's also why I put "mean it" in 'all caps.' Why I put "mean it" in the double quotation marks and "all caps" in the single quotation marks is a mystery to me. I just didn't pay enough attention in school.

Forgive me, but I didn't know that Journey was once the HOTTEST band on the planet. I knew they were hot, but I am thrilled to know they were the HOTTEST!

It must be true... take another look at that flyer:

There must be half a dozen fans waiting just outside the backstage doors. Luckily Officer Dabney Coleman is there to keep them out.

Oddly enough "backstage" has glass doors like a 7-11.

Let's take a look at the game:



Seriously, that is what it looks like.

I actually played this game and it really does play like one of those flash games. You have these odd computer people with photos of Journey band member's heads for heads (does that make sense? If not look at the picture again.)

Here is what Wikipedia says:

The game starts out with the player choosing one of five planets to travel to. Each planet features a minigame starring one of the Journey band members, with the objective of collecting his musical instrument (or, in the case of Steve Perry, a microphone).
Once the instruments are collected Journey performs a concert.

Sounds pretty stupid (or, in the case of Steve Perry, a microphone).

There was also DIFFERENT Journey game for Atari.




I am stunned it didn't become the next Donkey Kong (or, in the case of Steve Perry, a microphone).

My Disney Cruise: Day 1

I am a Disney junkie. I take multiple trips to the theme parks every year, I watch the movies (even the straight to video ones) and I even took a trip to Walt's grave:


Still, there was one Disney vacation that I had not done...

What could it be....

Isn't this suspenseful?

It was...

The Disney Cruise.

Until now. Luckily I was recently able to take a four night voyage on a ship called The Disney Wonder. The ship's name is "Wonder" and it's operated by the Disney company... It's not named "Disney" and run by the Wonder Bread company... but that would have been pretty cool, too.


DAY 1:
Before entering the ship we saw a wonderful model of the Disney Magic (a different Disney ship.)


The model was possibly just for display, but I like to imagine that when really short people show up they let them sail on that. I also like to imagine that when really tall people show up they pretend that is the real ship and tell them they are too tall to ride. Then they cry.

Something about a crying giant really cracks me up.

I think it's interesting that they had a model of the Magic on display when we were there for the Wonder. Perhaps they both leave from the same place.

I bet if they get another ship they would call it Imagine or Discover. I can foresee the whole fleet: Magic, Wonder, Imagine, Discover, Exasperation, Celebration, Motivation, Maximum Cleaning Power, Alpha, Mister Googily Goo, Shemp and Joe Derita.

Once on the ship I had a chance to look around before the safety drill at 4pm.
For the drill everyone (and I mean everyone) had to put on a life vest and line up in an assigned spot. We were told this was the only serious part of our cruise. They even passed out rubber chickens and whoopee cushions after the drill to drive home the point.

Actually they didn't. But they did show us a video of a crying giant. It was hysterical.

As we set sail the Disney characters were on hand for a "Adventures Away" party. It was lots of fun with music and streamers. The drink of the day was the "Bahama Mama."

I bet if you take the cruise to Greece the drink of the day is the "Greece Niece" ... uh ... and if you go to Yemen it's the... uh... "Yemen Insurance Salesman."



Also on board were Disney Channel stars : Mitchel Musso, Jason Earles, Anna Maria Perez de Tagle and Brandon Smith.
During the cruise I saw them at a few special functions and I saw them wandering around the ship.




Almost every night featured a Broadway style show. The first night was a show called the Golden Mickey's. It was the least grandiose of the three shows, but it was my favorite.

It was themed as an award show and featured many performances from many Disney films. It certainly got me in the right mood for the rest of the trip!

First night's dinner was at Animator's Palate, a unique restaurant that changes color throughout the meal.


I wish I had taken a before photo so you could compare them. I also wish I could think of an exotic island that rhymes with "brother."

This is me with Lavendra, one of our servers. The servers are assigned to your party for dinner. So, no matter where our dinner was, Lavendra was there.



Back on land, I occasionally look around for Lavendra as I heat up a TV dinner. Then I feel sad. Then I think of a sad giant and I feel happy again.


Day 2 coming soon....

Twitter

Twitter is a possible social networking tool. Until 3 years ago the only "social networking tool" I knew was Danny Bonaduce. Now social networking tools are everywhere.

Twitter is also what flys do when you pull their legs off.

Twitter allows users to post comments (or "tweets as dorks call them) of 150 charcters or less. This way you can alert people to what you have for lunch, when you bathe, what TV show you are watching and how you just pulled the wings off a fly.

And you can do it in real time.

The only problem with Twitter is finding something to say. Well, being that I DON'T have a Twitter account I have plenty of extra tweets just rattling around in my head.

I will present them here. That way all you have to do is cut and paste them into the Twitter box and everyone will think you are twitactular.

Take a look:

At Friendly's. A lady came by my table holding a salad. She said "which one of you gets this beautiful salad?" We didn't order a salad. I don't know if she even works here.

I just met a girl named Candy. I wanted to take a bite out of her. Not because she was pretty, but because I am a cannibal.

Saw Saw II. Didn't like the end. Too many credits. Dropped cigarette and burned couch. Wasn't even smoking.

Playing D&D with Steve. Steve said "Cleric Magic User" when he meant "Wizard Magic User." He so stupd.

At dentist. Need to have cavity filled. Filled with TACOS! Ha ha. I am hungry. I hope there is a Del Taco in this town.

Fighting with rival store owner. He said "this town isn't big enough for both of us." I suggested we both move to a bigger town.

Just remembered a Cracked magazine parody of wrestling where they called Sgt. Slaughter: Sgt. S. Laughter. That's funny! Words so close. Weird.

Forrest Gump on AMC. I don't think he really did all those things.

Playing Halo 4. I really thought this was a video game version of the Gary Coleman TV film Kid with the Broken Halo. It's not. Well, wait till I finish to be sure.

At DMV lady is trying to take my picture. She keeps saying "stop typing on your phone" or something. She stupid.

Still at DVM. Sgt. S. Laughter. That still cracks me up.

Cop just sped past. I wonder if the phrase "cop a feel" came from being frisked. Or maybe his first name was Al. Cop A. Feel. And he was a pervert.

CNN said inventor of VCR just died. I hope they rewind him before they put him in the box. Sorry. too soon.

Watching UFC 98. Much better than 4, 88, 32, 8, 71 and 6. Reminds me of UFC 22 or 58. I haven't watched 83 or 22 yet. 17, 67, 2. 9.

Steve is in wing eating contest. Watching. Hope he wins. Bet he will look like he has a baby bump after.

I used my new Asics when I ran today. NOT COMFORTABLE. Must make sure they were on the right feet. Yep they were on the right feet. Mine.

Watching some movie where Hulk Hogan babysits kids in a balerina outfit. Not sure the name. Possibly Easy Rider.

Can't belive there are candy called Goobers. Maybe they taste like a loogie.

Yaphet Kotto

Yaphet Kotto is an American actor. His dad was the Crown Prince of Cameroon. No kiddin'! I don't know much about the political system in Cameroon. Perhaps Crown Prince is the top of the political ladder.... or maybe it's like being a city councilman.

I bet the system works like this: Cameroon is broken into 4 provinces (or Luplups as the locals call them.) Each Luplup is run by a Lord, a Landlord, a Governor and a Crown Prince. The four Crown Princes report to the President and he reports to Kirk Cameron.

Or maybe not.

Either way, Yaphet's dad wanted more and so he came to America in the 1920s. Yaphet started taking acting classes at 16, made his stage debut at 19 and started acting in films in his late 20s. He has since appeared in close to 100 TV and movie productions.

One of my favorite performances by Yaphet is in the James Bond actioner Live and Let Die.

This is one of my favorite films of the Bond franchise and Yaphet Kotto is my favorite villain.

Bond kills him by inflating him until he explodes.


He is called Mr. Big in the film. Not the best Bond villain name.

He is also known as Kananga. Still, not all that inspired... but when your REAL NAME is YAPHET KOTTO. Every character name has to be a bit of a let down.

Backwards his name is Ottok Tehpay.

He once put out a poetry record and there is a band out there that stole his name.

One time he stuck his thumbs in his ears and someone took his picture:


Yaphet Kotto!