Thursday, October 02, 2008
100 Movies in 100 Days
As a stunt I decided to watch 100 movies during a 100 day period. You can read about it here:
Thursday, September 18, 2008
My Old Bedroom Wall part 2
Recently I found a photo of my bedroom wall circa 1987.
click here for a larger image
In the last post I identified 30 of the 60 pieces of art... so that's like 90 percent.
click here to see a key
Here is the rest:
31. This was a xerox of my hand and a bunch of other junk. I did this at the library, I think, and it probably cost me a quarter.
32. Tara of Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling. She looks kinda gorgeous. I don't think I ever saw her wrestle. But, I dreamed about it. I dreamed she wrestled me... and we both won... if you know what I mean... and if you do call me and tell me.
33. Brutus The Barber and a referee. Might have been Danny Davis. I almost typed Brutus the Babar. That would have been a cool gimmick. If he turned into an elephant after the match.
34. Ted Dibiasi and Virgil. I met Virgil once. I didn't find it that enriching.
35. A bloodied black and white photo of Hogan. This had to be from Pro Wrestling Illustrated. WWF magazine never showed blood. Except if Blood was the name of a tag team... but I don't think it was. Did I mention that I met Babar? Or was that Virgil? No, I am pretty sure it was me that met Babar.
36. Potty Scotty (Garbage Pail Kids) I loved the Garbage Pail Kids. Loved them more than anything else for a short time. Potty Scotty, my only 1st edition card, was the prize of my collection. I am proud to say I still own it.
37. Not sure. Perhaps it's a photo of the time that Babar and Virgil wrestled that chick from GLOW. I already forgot her name. Maybe it was Danny Davis? No I am pretty sure it was me that forgot her name.
38. Schematic of the Back to the Future Delorean Time Machine. I think I still have this, too. I know I still have the magazine I removed the poster from, but I think the poster is in there too... maybe it was Babar... ah, even I am sick of that joke.
39. I will give you ten bucks if you let me skip to number 43.
43. Check is in the mail, my friend.
44. This was a picture of the Hart Foundation involved in what the wrestlers call a smoshz. Not sure how they spell it. I think it's Hebrew for "french taco."
45. I am ashamed to say I think that is Adam Bomb... not the Garbage Pail Kid, but the WWF star.
46. The Ultimate Warrior. I hated him, but I had about 3 inches of empty space to fill. This was important.
47. Miss Elizabeth. Lovely.
48. I think this was a photo of the Hart Foundation (with Danny Davis) doing the see no evil, hear no evil, starring Kane starts Friday at the Cineramadome, pose.
49. Jimmy Hart. Today he does a commercial for hair loss. Back then (fill in hilarious joke later.)
50. Not sure about this.
51. Don't know what this was.
52. Macho Man and Elizabeth and Hogan. The two men are holding her on their sweaty shoulders.
53. My autographed picture of Roddy Piper. I got this free from a mail away form in a WWF ice cream bar box. I still have this, too.
54. Bam Bam Bigelow and Sir Oliver Humperdink. Yup, these were names given to grown men.
55. Bam Bam.
56. Weird Al Yankovic. What room is complete without his photo.
57. A small black dot. Could just be a piece of dirt on the scanner. I have no idea.
58. Strike Force logo. They were a team of Tito Santana and Rick Martel. Originally it was Rick Martel and Tom Zenk. They called themselves the Can-Am Connection. Jessie Ventura joked that the Tito and Rick team should be called the Mexi-can Connection. But instead they called themselves Strike Force because they "strike... with force." Yup. I watched lots of wrestling when I was a kid.
59. Dunno.
60. The Honky Tonk Man. He was cool. He was cocky. He was b-b-b-bad.
click here for a larger image
In the last post I identified 30 of the 60 pieces of art... so that's like 90 percent.
click here to see a key
Here is the rest:
31. This was a xerox of my hand and a bunch of other junk. I did this at the library, I think, and it probably cost me a quarter.
32. Tara of Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling. She looks kinda gorgeous. I don't think I ever saw her wrestle. But, I dreamed about it. I dreamed she wrestled me... and we both won... if you know what I mean... and if you do call me and tell me.
33. Brutus The Barber and a referee. Might have been Danny Davis. I almost typed Brutus the Babar. That would have been a cool gimmick. If he turned into an elephant after the match.
34. Ted Dibiasi and Virgil. I met Virgil once. I didn't find it that enriching.
35. A bloodied black and white photo of Hogan. This had to be from Pro Wrestling Illustrated. WWF magazine never showed blood. Except if Blood was the name of a tag team... but I don't think it was. Did I mention that I met Babar? Or was that Virgil? No, I am pretty sure it was me that met Babar.
36. Potty Scotty (Garbage Pail Kids) I loved the Garbage Pail Kids. Loved them more than anything else for a short time. Potty Scotty, my only 1st edition card, was the prize of my collection. I am proud to say I still own it.
37. Not sure. Perhaps it's a photo of the time that Babar and Virgil wrestled that chick from GLOW. I already forgot her name. Maybe it was Danny Davis? No I am pretty sure it was me that forgot her name.
38. Schematic of the Back to the Future Delorean Time Machine. I think I still have this, too. I know I still have the magazine I removed the poster from, but I think the poster is in there too... maybe it was Babar... ah, even I am sick of that joke.
39. I will give you ten bucks if you let me skip to number 43.
43. Check is in the mail, my friend.
44. This was a picture of the Hart Foundation involved in what the wrestlers call a smoshz. Not sure how they spell it. I think it's Hebrew for "french taco."
45. I am ashamed to say I think that is Adam Bomb... not the Garbage Pail Kid, but the WWF star.
46. The Ultimate Warrior. I hated him, but I had about 3 inches of empty space to fill. This was important.
47. Miss Elizabeth. Lovely.
48. I think this was a photo of the Hart Foundation (with Danny Davis) doing the see no evil, hear no evil, starring Kane starts Friday at the Cineramadome, pose.
49. Jimmy Hart. Today he does a commercial for hair loss. Back then (fill in hilarious joke later.)
50. Not sure about this.
51. Don't know what this was.
52. Macho Man and Elizabeth and Hogan. The two men are holding her on their sweaty shoulders.
53. My autographed picture of Roddy Piper. I got this free from a mail away form in a WWF ice cream bar box. I still have this, too.
54. Bam Bam Bigelow and Sir Oliver Humperdink. Yup, these were names given to grown men.
55. Bam Bam.
56. Weird Al Yankovic. What room is complete without his photo.
57. A small black dot. Could just be a piece of dirt on the scanner. I have no idea.
58. Strike Force logo. They were a team of Tito Santana and Rick Martel. Originally it was Rick Martel and Tom Zenk. They called themselves the Can-Am Connection. Jessie Ventura joked that the Tito and Rick team should be called the Mexi-can Connection. But instead they called themselves Strike Force because they "strike... with force." Yup. I watched lots of wrestling when I was a kid.
59. Dunno.
60. The Honky Tonk Man. He was cool. He was cocky. He was b-b-b-bad.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
My Old Bedroom Wall part 1
Recently I found a photo of my bedroom wall circa 1987.
click here for a larger image
Isn't it grand?
I remember the hour or two I spent cutting those photos out of WWF Magazine, Muppet Magazine and a few other places... then slapping 'em on the wall.
I decided to identify the 60 pieces of art that are shown in this photo:
click here to see a key
click here to see a different key
1. Kermit the Frog as Pee Wee Herman: How cool is that?!? I know this was in Muppet Magazine. I wish I still have this because I would love to hang this up someplace today. Actually, I could probably find it in a calendar or something if I really looked. Heck, it's probably on the Internet somewhere. But, really, where would I put it. You know, I am glad I tossed it.
2. Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy: Action shot. I wasn't a really big Hogan fan, but I really think I used 1 WWF magazine, 1 Muppet magazine, 1 Pro Wrestling Illustrated and very little else to decorate this wall.
3. Don Muraco: The original Rock. You wish you had that on your wall.
4. Animal as David Lee Roth: Another Muppet poster, this one Animal is dressed like David Lee Roth in the "Dave TV" segment from one of his videos... I think it was either "Just a Juggalo" or "Runnin' with the ICP."
5. Macho Man Randy Savage: Pretty sure this is him standing on the apron wearing one of his silly outfits. Or he is standing on one of his silly outfits and wearing an apron.
6 & 7. Article on Brutus The Barber Beefcake: I think this article showed him getting his haircutting license or some such nonsense.
8. Ax (or Smash): This scary hooded figure was one half of Demolition. Damn, they were the coolest wrestling tag team when they debuted.
9. The Bushwackers: Yeah, Luke and Butch. I would like to take a moment to point out the cool haphazard angled look of most of the photos. This made my room extra cool.... even though I had a picture of The Bushwackers on the wall.
10. Smash (or Ax): Still cool.
11. Hulk Hogan and Miss Elizabeth: Another action shot. I think this was before she got hit in the head by a guitar. Wrestling is cool.
12. A bunch of Muppets: Nuff said.
13. The Hart Foundation: Cooler than The Bushwackers not as cool as Demolition.
14. Not sure.
15. CD Cover from Piledriver-The Wrestling Album II
16. Hmmmm.... I can't be sure about this. It may be photo of a lady wrestler clipped from GLOW magazine. I think there was only one issue of GLOW magazine.
17. Glow Girl: Can't be sure which one... like it matters.
18. I don't remember. And to be honest with you, I am starting to wish I hadn't decided to break down EACH picture.
19. Roddy Piper: Seriously, do I need to write an explanation here? Or can I assume you know who he his. Almost a third of the way through this nonsense.
20. I really can't tell on this one. You know, I want to apologise for being so grumpy on the last couple of descriptions. I know it's not your fault that I decided to write this stuff. I just have some pain in my neck (actual pain in my actual neck... it's not a metaphor) and I am a bit hungry. Sorry.
21. Double Jake "The Snake" Roberts: I guess one Jake "The Snake" is good, two is great. Plus you can look at it and see what it looks like when Jake "The Lush" looks in the mirror.
22. I can't tell. In fact, this might just be some variation in the paint texture... but that's not likely. Dad's a bit of a perfectionist. I can't imagine he would paint the wall uneven. I can't imagine he would let me cover up his nice paint job with a picture of The Bushwackers either, though.
23. More wrestling. It looks like someone is about to do a figure four on someone else.
24. Glow girl in a swim suit. Looks sexy even at this resolution. Of course it could be Hulk Hogan... I think I need to rip my eyes out.
25. Rick Rude: Yup, the ravishing one.
26. Half of Demolition and Mr. Fuji: Sadly it looks like Smash was on the other side of the page and not put on the wall. Axe and Fuji look awesome, however.
27. Weird Al's Band: I probably xeroxed this at the library.
28. Hulk Hogan or Don Muraco in the Piledriver video. I can't tell which one. I am leaning towards it being Muraco.
29. Macho Man, Liz and a guitar: She got hit in the head with it... or maybe he did... I can't remember anymore... I use the "three dots" thing too much... don't you think?
30. Cover of the WWF Magazine featuring Macho Man. I bet if I get a copy of this off eBay I can re-create this wall. That would be pretty cool.
To be concluded...
click here for a larger image
Isn't it grand?
I remember the hour or two I spent cutting those photos out of WWF Magazine, Muppet Magazine and a few other places... then slapping 'em on the wall.
I decided to identify the 60 pieces of art that are shown in this photo:
click here to see a key
click here to see a different key
1. Kermit the Frog as Pee Wee Herman: How cool is that?!? I know this was in Muppet Magazine. I wish I still have this because I would love to hang this up someplace today. Actually, I could probably find it in a calendar or something if I really looked. Heck, it's probably on the Internet somewhere. But, really, where would I put it. You know, I am glad I tossed it.
2. Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy: Action shot. I wasn't a really big Hogan fan, but I really think I used 1 WWF magazine, 1 Muppet magazine, 1 Pro Wrestling Illustrated and very little else to decorate this wall.
3. Don Muraco: The original Rock. You wish you had that on your wall.
4. Animal as David Lee Roth: Another Muppet poster, this one Animal is dressed like David Lee Roth in the "Dave TV" segment from one of his videos... I think it was either "Just a Juggalo" or "Runnin' with the ICP."
5. Macho Man Randy Savage: Pretty sure this is him standing on the apron wearing one of his silly outfits. Or he is standing on one of his silly outfits and wearing an apron.
6 & 7. Article on Brutus The Barber Beefcake: I think this article showed him getting his haircutting license or some such nonsense.
8. Ax (or Smash): This scary hooded figure was one half of Demolition. Damn, they were the coolest wrestling tag team when they debuted.
9. The Bushwackers: Yeah, Luke and Butch. I would like to take a moment to point out the cool haphazard angled look of most of the photos. This made my room extra cool.... even though I had a picture of The Bushwackers on the wall.
10. Smash (or Ax): Still cool.
11. Hulk Hogan and Miss Elizabeth: Another action shot. I think this was before she got hit in the head by a guitar. Wrestling is cool.
12. A bunch of Muppets: Nuff said.
13. The Hart Foundation: Cooler than The Bushwackers not as cool as Demolition.
14. Not sure.
15. CD Cover from Piledriver-The Wrestling Album II
16. Hmmmm.... I can't be sure about this. It may be photo of a lady wrestler clipped from GLOW magazine. I think there was only one issue of GLOW magazine.
17. Glow Girl: Can't be sure which one... like it matters.
18. I don't remember. And to be honest with you, I am starting to wish I hadn't decided to break down EACH picture.
19. Roddy Piper: Seriously, do I need to write an explanation here? Or can I assume you know who he his. Almost a third of the way through this nonsense.
20. I really can't tell on this one. You know, I want to apologise for being so grumpy on the last couple of descriptions. I know it's not your fault that I decided to write this stuff. I just have some pain in my neck (actual pain in my actual neck... it's not a metaphor) and I am a bit hungry. Sorry.
21. Double Jake "The Snake" Roberts: I guess one Jake "The Snake" is good, two is great. Plus you can look at it and see what it looks like when Jake "The Lush" looks in the mirror.
22. I can't tell. In fact, this might just be some variation in the paint texture... but that's not likely. Dad's a bit of a perfectionist. I can't imagine he would paint the wall uneven. I can't imagine he would let me cover up his nice paint job with a picture of The Bushwackers either, though.
23. More wrestling. It looks like someone is about to do a figure four on someone else.
24. Glow girl in a swim suit. Looks sexy even at this resolution. Of course it could be Hulk Hogan... I think I need to rip my eyes out.
25. Rick Rude: Yup, the ravishing one.
26. Half of Demolition and Mr. Fuji: Sadly it looks like Smash was on the other side of the page and not put on the wall. Axe and Fuji look awesome, however.
27. Weird Al's Band: I probably xeroxed this at the library.
28. Hulk Hogan or Don Muraco in the Piledriver video. I can't tell which one. I am leaning towards it being Muraco.
29. Macho Man, Liz and a guitar: She got hit in the head with it... or maybe he did... I can't remember anymore... I use the "three dots" thing too much... don't you think?
30. Cover of the WWF Magazine featuring Macho Man. I bet if I get a copy of this off eBay I can re-create this wall. That would be pretty cool.
To be concluded...
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Boinking, Buzz and Banishment
Chat rooms are little places where people (sometimes little people) gather to discuss some stuff.
Usually the subjects appeal to a fringe group and the invention of the internet (Al Gore, 1991) has given these folks a place to be heard, hear and hearing. Hear looks funny when you write it many times. Hear I come to save my hearing. Hearing what I hear makes me hear. Hear, hear said the guy who repeats things twice. Hearest hearly hearingly hearamonapia.
Anyway, I am one of those people who likes to seek out other like minded people on the internet. It makes stupid things I like seem far more important.
The thing I look at most on the internet is stuff about Mickey Mouse and his theme parks.
I love those places. I vacation at the two U.S. destinations (Orlando Florida and Fabulous Anaheim California) at least once a year and in the meantime I look for news, rumors and racy pictures of Daisy Duck.
My favorite place to look is a site called: micechat.com.
One of the things I like about micechat is that lots of the people on there are bitter, angry and super-judgmental of others. Sure, most message boards are filled with people like this, but micechat elevates it to a new level.
So, this got me thinking:
If a message board allows posts encouraging the untimely death of Lindsay Lohan, cheers fatal accidents at Six Flags and never uses the word "hear" more than three times in a post... what is unacceptable?
Well, some things are.
And micechat has a very nice group of people who spend lots of time combing through the messages and looking for trolls and things that trolls do. When they find anything objectionable they move it to....
THE LITTER BOX.
The litter box is a special message board (for micechat registered users only) that is full of posts that needed to be moved away from the civilized forums... and also has some posts that people create just to talk about in the litter box.
The good thing about the litter box is that the rules are a little relaxed. So I wondered... can I post something so vile it gets kicked out of the litter box?
Yep, and it only took a matter of minutes:
I posted a thread with the title "If you were Buzz, who would you boink?"
The thread contained a poll with three choices and this photo:
Under the photo I posted "So who would you boink? The chick with the aqua blue face, the big red blob or the little robot? Of course I assume he boinked all three at some point.
Within moments the post was banished... moved to "the graveyard" and area so scary that they call it... the graveyard.
So, I am reposting the poll and picture with the title "If you were Buzz, who would you have a secret crush for... that you only revealed in you diary and to your BFF?"
Of course, I assume he has a secret crush for all of them. He wont ever tell them, of course, or they might stop boinking him.
Usually the subjects appeal to a fringe group and the invention of the internet (Al Gore, 1991) has given these folks a place to be heard, hear and hearing. Hear looks funny when you write it many times. Hear I come to save my hearing. Hearing what I hear makes me hear. Hear, hear said the guy who repeats things twice. Hearest hearly hearingly hearamonapia.
Anyway, I am one of those people who likes to seek out other like minded people on the internet. It makes stupid things I like seem far more important.
The thing I look at most on the internet is stuff about Mickey Mouse and his theme parks.
I love those places. I vacation at the two U.S. destinations (Orlando Florida and Fabulous Anaheim California) at least once a year and in the meantime I look for news, rumors and racy pictures of Daisy Duck.
My favorite place to look is a site called: micechat.com.
One of the things I like about micechat is that lots of the people on there are bitter, angry and super-judgmental of others. Sure, most message boards are filled with people like this, but micechat elevates it to a new level.
So, this got me thinking:
If a message board allows posts encouraging the untimely death of Lindsay Lohan, cheers fatal accidents at Six Flags and never uses the word "hear" more than three times in a post... what is unacceptable?
Well, some things are.
And micechat has a very nice group of people who spend lots of time combing through the messages and looking for trolls and things that trolls do. When they find anything objectionable they move it to....
THE LITTER BOX.
The litter box is a special message board (for micechat registered users only) that is full of posts that needed to be moved away from the civilized forums... and also has some posts that people create just to talk about in the litter box.
The good thing about the litter box is that the rules are a little relaxed. So I wondered... can I post something so vile it gets kicked out of the litter box?
Yep, and it only took a matter of minutes:
I posted a thread with the title "If you were Buzz, who would you boink?"
The thread contained a poll with three choices and this photo:
Under the photo I posted "So who would you boink? The chick with the aqua blue face, the big red blob or the little robot? Of course I assume he boinked all three at some point.
Within moments the post was banished... moved to "the graveyard" and area so scary that they call it... the graveyard.
So, I am reposting the poll and picture with the title "If you were Buzz, who would you have a secret crush for... that you only revealed in you diary and to your BFF?"
Of course, I assume he has a secret crush for all of them. He wont ever tell them, of course, or they might stop boinking him.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Charles Bronson is THE COMMISSIONER
Here is something I saw during a recent trip to Florida:
Charles Bronson is the Commissioner of the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.
Awesome.
I can see him sitting at a desk commissioning about how they will get the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services to do whatever it does and BOOM a man bursts into the room.
Sir, your wife is in trouble.
Then Bronson goes around smacking thugs and punching punks in the gut.
Man, Florida rocks.
Charles Bronson is the Commissioner of the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.
Awesome.
I can see him sitting at a desk commissioning about how they will get the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services to do whatever it does and BOOM a man bursts into the room.
Sir, your wife is in trouble.
Then Bronson goes around smacking thugs and punching punks in the gut.
Man, Florida rocks.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Richard Kiel as The Incredible Hulk
When I was a kid there was nothing I liked more than The Incredible Hulk. The show debuted on TV when I was probably too young to watch it, but it lasted 5 seasons and by the time the 1980s rolled around I was a big fan.
I remember lying on the floor staring up at the TV watching Bill Bixby sail through some sappy melodrama as I waited for 2 things.
First, I wanted to see how David Banner would change his last name this week.
See, David Banner was on the run from Mr. Magee and probably some over-zealous funeral directors wanting more information for his tombstone than just his name.
Because as the opening sequence would remind you, David is believed to be buried under a stone that simply reads "David Bruce Banner" no dates, no pithy quote... nothing.
Because his name was on the stone, David had to change his name every week.
One week he would be David Bammer, the next David Branner, then David Beckham and so on and so on.
I was fascinated about this.
As a kid, I also used to like Mr. Magee. Probably because his name was so similar to Mr. Magoo. Plus he never seemed to catch David. Even Magoo would have caught him by the end of the fourth season.
Remember a few paragraphs ago when I mentioned there were TWO things I looked forward to every week? The other was THE HULK!
The Hulk would come out twice an episode. Once about 15 minutes in and once about ten minutes before the episode ended.
I remember that my Dad let me stay up to watch the show, but only through the Hulk's second "Hulk out."
After that I was remanded to bed pleading "but what if he Hulks up a third time?"
My Dad always said, "Son, he never Hulks up a third time."
He was always right.
Anyway, as a kid I became deftly attuned to what would cause him to Hulk up... David Banner was a klutz.
Some bad guy would pull a knife on him, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up. Some bad guy would pull a knife on a lady, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up. Some bad guy would lock him in a closet, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up.
But then as David struggled to get out of the closet he would stub his pinky toe AND HE WOULD HULK UP.
Once he became the Hulk he would neutralize the situation and then go do something silly for the kids in the audience.
One time the Hulk used an ATM:
He showed up and there was an old lady using the machine. She freaked out and ran away leaving the Hulk to do his transaction.
Hulk would try to get a balance inquiry...
Oh no! He forgot his pin number!
Then a quick Hulk shove would result in the machine spitting out fives like a person that thought they were eating a salad, but then realized they were eating a bowl of five dollar bills.
Interestingly, lots of things about the Hulk TV show were different from the comic book. In the comic Banner gets hit with the rays of a gamma bomb, in the show it was some scientific equipment that was improperly set. In the comic he was Bruce Banner and the TV show changed his name to David.
They also wanted to change some other things. They wanted to make the Hulk red, and they wanted him to be played by Richard Kiel. Kiel is either best known for his awesome screen stealing performance as Jaws in two James Bond movies... or for a stupid cameo he has in Happy Gilmore as a big tall guy.
And tall he is. Kiel is over 7 feet tall, but didn't have the muscles that Ferrigno later brought to the character.
Looking back, the idea of a red Richard Kiel as the Hulk seems beyond absurd, but I accepted his name as David and I like his TV show back story much more than the comic book version.
So, I bet I would have been a fan of a skinnier red Hulk, too.
Anyway, the idea of making the Hulk red was nixed, but Kiel was hired to play the Hulk. In fact, they even started shooting the TV movie pilot with him... and one shot of Kiel remained in the final cut.
So, with no further ado... here is Richard Kiel as The Incredible Hulk:
I remember lying on the floor staring up at the TV watching Bill Bixby sail through some sappy melodrama as I waited for 2 things.
First, I wanted to see how David Banner would change his last name this week.
See, David Banner was on the run from Mr. Magee and probably some over-zealous funeral directors wanting more information for his tombstone than just his name.
Because as the opening sequence would remind you, David is believed to be buried under a stone that simply reads "David Bruce Banner" no dates, no pithy quote... nothing.
Because his name was on the stone, David had to change his name every week.
One week he would be David Bammer, the next David Branner, then David Beckham and so on and so on.
I was fascinated about this.
As a kid, I also used to like Mr. Magee. Probably because his name was so similar to Mr. Magoo. Plus he never seemed to catch David. Even Magoo would have caught him by the end of the fourth season.
Remember a few paragraphs ago when I mentioned there were TWO things I looked forward to every week? The other was THE HULK!
The Hulk would come out twice an episode. Once about 15 minutes in and once about ten minutes before the episode ended.
I remember that my Dad let me stay up to watch the show, but only through the Hulk's second "Hulk out."
After that I was remanded to bed pleading "but what if he Hulks up a third time?"
My Dad always said, "Son, he never Hulks up a third time."
He was always right.
Anyway, as a kid I became deftly attuned to what would cause him to Hulk up... David Banner was a klutz.
Some bad guy would pull a knife on him, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up. Some bad guy would pull a knife on a lady, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up. Some bad guy would lock him in a closet, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up.
But then as David struggled to get out of the closet he would stub his pinky toe AND HE WOULD HULK UP.
Once he became the Hulk he would neutralize the situation and then go do something silly for the kids in the audience.
One time the Hulk used an ATM:
He showed up and there was an old lady using the machine. She freaked out and ran away leaving the Hulk to do his transaction.
Hulk would try to get a balance inquiry...
Oh no! He forgot his pin number!
Then a quick Hulk shove would result in the machine spitting out fives like a person that thought they were eating a salad, but then realized they were eating a bowl of five dollar bills.
Interestingly, lots of things about the Hulk TV show were different from the comic book. In the comic Banner gets hit with the rays of a gamma bomb, in the show it was some scientific equipment that was improperly set. In the comic he was Bruce Banner and the TV show changed his name to David.
They also wanted to change some other things. They wanted to make the Hulk red, and they wanted him to be played by Richard Kiel. Kiel is either best known for his awesome screen stealing performance as Jaws in two James Bond movies... or for a stupid cameo he has in Happy Gilmore as a big tall guy.
And tall he is. Kiel is over 7 feet tall, but didn't have the muscles that Ferrigno later brought to the character.
Looking back, the idea of a red Richard Kiel as the Hulk seems beyond absurd, but I accepted his name as David and I like his TV show back story much more than the comic book version.
So, I bet I would have been a fan of a skinnier red Hulk, too.
Anyway, the idea of making the Hulk red was nixed, but Kiel was hired to play the Hulk. In fact, they even started shooting the TV movie pilot with him... and one shot of Kiel remained in the final cut.
So, with no further ado... here is Richard Kiel as The Incredible Hulk:
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