Seven Mistakes

Can I spot seven mistakes? Let's see:
1. One of the fish is 'making eyes' at the other. Both are male. As you know, homosexuality is frowned upon in the fish kingdom and thus such a display is unlikely to happen on a bus.
2. The girl with the backwards hand is touching the ‘chime strip.’ That particular ‘chime strip’ is broken. She was probably told this before taking her seat.
3. The bag reading "chips" is clearly filled with Pringles, which are not marketed as 'chips,' rather they are 'crisps.' Also they are sold in cans not bags.
4. The tag on the boy's bow tie says "Made in China" but it was, in fact, made in 'Japan.'
5. The girl is wearing an "arrow through the head" to be like Martin Short. However, this gag was actually not Martin Short's but Steve Martin's.
6. Girls aren't funny.

I can't find #7. Can you?

The Coloring Book Main Page

Jean Harlow

This is one of my favorites. Legendary hottie Jean Harlow was enshrined in the cement September 29, 1933.
It was an unusual square, however. A few days earlier Sid Grauman had sold tickets to an event which was held INSIDE the theater. There Jean put her hand and foot prints into cement before the paying crowd. Then when workers tried to move it to the forecourt they dropped it. The slab was ruined.
Jean returned to do a second slab, this time outside. It's still there.
Jean Harlow appeared in many famous films such as The Public Enemy and Hells Angels before her untimely death at age 26.
Jean signed her slab "To Sid, in sincere appreciation. Jean Harlow." Then she embedded three pennies in the slab for luck. They were pried out and stolen soon after.
Every time I visit the Chinese Theater I bring three pennies with me and "replace" Harlow's on my way into the theater. They are always gone by the time the movie lets out.
I often wonder who takes them. Sure, it may be homeless dudes or people who really need money. But I bet it's probably tourists.
They probably return to Indiana with a handful of pennies and say:

Tourist: Wowweee! I found these pennies that Jean Harlow touched.
Yokel: When? What year is on 'em.
Tourist: Lemme see... 1999, 2004 and 2003.
Yokel: That's impossible! Jean Harlow died a whole mess of years ago.
Tourist: Then Jean Harlow must have been from THE FUTURE! She must have had a time machine.
Yokel: No way. It's obvious that she’s a member of the walking undead! Let's go find her.
Tourist: I'll get the shotgun.

Filmmaker Reveals 20 Year Old Mystery

A bunchojunk.com press release
AP-In a hastily set up press conference out side the old Fox Theater in fabulous Hollywood California, director John Hughes addressed a throng of reporters to answer a two decade old question that had puzzled America.

What was the punch line to John Bender's joke?

In 1985 Hughes released a popular film called The Breakfast Club. Despite misconceptions that it was a film about a large plank cavemen used to kill their morning breakfast, the film was a hit.
During one famous scene the character of John Bender (played by Judd Nelson) uttered one of the most famous lines in motion picture history:

"A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says..."

After uttering the unfinished line Judd Nelson broke through the drop ceiling and never finished the line.

Now, on the 20th anniversary of the film, the country was able to breathe a sigh of relief. As Hughes said when he addressed the large crowd "The naked lady says 'I'm just here to see Ben Affleck.'"

It is not often that reporters laugh. This laughter was so loud and riotous that it could be heard as far away as El Segundo, Redondo, Palo Alto and many other California towns that sound more like a new menu item from Taco Bell.

Hughes had guarded the secret punch line closely over the years. "I will only reveal the answer after Judd Nelson passes away" Hughes famously promised back in 1987. Since then he has remained mum about the punch line.

In 1991, after a car wreck in downtown Las Vegas some thought Nelson might be dying. Sadly, he survived and the secret stayed with Hughes.

Until now.

Still, some doubt the punch line.

"Had anyone heard of Ben Affleck in 1985?" queried one puzzled bystander.

Indeed they had. Ben had played C.T. Granville in the short lived TV series "The Voyage of Mimi" just one year earlier.

Other bystanders just thought the joke would have been funnier if it was about Matt Damon.

Hughes was mum about why he chose this moment to reveal the punch line. Many believe it could have to do with the 20th anniversary of the film. Other say it is because Judd Nelson is "dead as far as Hollywood is concerned. Still others say "Hey, you aren't from a real newspaper! How did you get press credentials?"

Perhaps a new mystery is born.

The Tower of Terror: The Movie

In fabulous Hollywood California there is a building called the Hollywood Tower. It's an apartment building just in the shadow of the Hollywood sign. It used to be known as the Hollywood Tower Hotel from it's opening in 1929 up until it was renovated and turned into apartments in the 1990s.

In Disney Studios Theme Park (Florida) and Disney's California Adventure (California) there stands a giant structure bearing the name "Hollywood Tower Hotel." This building houses the popular ride The Twilight Zone: Tower of Terror.

The Tower of Terror is a 'freefall' type ride, like you find at most amusement parks, but with a Disney twist. The ride has magnificent theme-ing and a storyline involving a runaway elevator. "Runaway" is probably not the best word, but plunging makes me think of "neck lines" and "toilets," two things no one should have to think of at the same time.

It should surprise no one that Disney has made a movie based on this ride. After all, 3 other Disney attractions share this honor:


The Pirates of the Caribbean: This film was a huge success, taking the ride of the same name and bringing supernatural elements to it.

The Haunted Mansion: Not as successful, and not as good. This odd horror/comedy starred Eddie Murphy and a cast of zombies. My problem with the film was the overall tone. The film was creepy, then silly, then creepy again. It was like looking at Michael Jackson for an hour and a half.

The Country Bears: Not a hit, but I love it. Based on "The Country Bear Jamboree" this picture featured a band of singing bears. This has to be SEEN to be believed. A movie starring a bunch of guys in bear suits, and a maniacal Christopher Walken. What more could anyone want?

What IS interesting about The Tower of Terror's movie is that it preceded those films. This was a TV movie first aired back in 1997. Still, it holds up pretty well and is a bunch of fun.

The movie never makes any mention of "The Twilight Zone" either in the title or during the film. It's just as well; this is less creepy than most Twilight Zone episodes. It’s more of lighthearted flick aimed at young teens.

Having the mind of a young teen, I loved it. I also love Skittles and I giggle inappropriately when people say "Uranus."

Remember about 10 pages ago when I babbled something about the real Hollywood Tower building? If not, go back to the top of the article. We will wait for you.

Anyway, I don't know if that building was an influence on those who designed the ride, but according to some of the shots in the film, both the real and fake towers are in about the same place.

The film tells the story of five people that disappeared in an elevator related mishap back in 1939. Then in the present, Steve Guttenberg is contacted by an old lady who tells him that witchcraft may have been afoot at the Tower. So Steve investigates and brings Kirsten Dunst along for the tour.

The exterior of the Florida ride is used as the exterior of the building in the film. It seems a little silly, but maybe that is just because I have ridden it so many times. It would be like if in the middle of War of the Worlds Tom Cruise jumped on the Dumbo ride and used it as a plane.

Anyway, I do recommend this flick. It’s fun and easy to watch. The first half hour provides a couple of chills, but after we meet the ghosts there is nothing left to be scared of. The rest is just good old fashioned entertainment.

There is also a major plot twist that you can see coming from a mile away. Make sure to wave at it.

The Walk of Fame: Vol. C, Part 3

Stan Chambers TV

Stan is a longtime reporter on channel five in Los Angeles. Stan began his career on TV in 1947 when only about 300 TV's EXISTED in Los Angeles. Now there are over 300 restaurants that just serve oxygen in LA.

Gower Champion TV

Dancer, actor and choreographer in many TV shows as well as films such as Show Boat. Worked as a team with wife Marge Champion.

Marge Champion TV

Part of dance team with husband Gower Champion.

Jackie Chan MP

Action star of such films as Rumble in the Bronx and Rush Hour.

Jeff Chandler MP

Film actor who recieved an Academy Award nommination for his 1950 film Broken Arrow.

Lon Chaney MP

Legendary actor in many silent horror films including The Phantom of the Opera.

Carol Channing TV

Popular stage actress, Carol has made countless appearances on TV including an appearance on "The Muppet Show".

Charles Chaplin MP

One of the most popular film stars of all time. He is the only person other than Hitler who wore the 'funny little mustache.'

Marguerite Chapman TV

Actress of film and televison who appeared on such shows as "Police Story" and "Rawhide".

Cid Charisse MP

Actress and dancer in such features as Singing in the Rain.

Ray Charles Rec

Legendary musician whom, accoridng to the Jamie Fox movie, had Daredevil like superpowers including the abiltiy to hear humming birds from a mile away and tell fat women from thin women just by feeling their wrists.

Charley Chase MP

Comic actor in over 200 films from the silent era to the 1940s. His famous co-stars included Charlie Chaplin, Fatty Arbuckle, and Laurel & Hardy.

Chevy Chase MP

One time Saturday Night Live performer who liked to utter the phrase "I'm Chevy Chase and you're not." We should be thankful for that.

Mocking the List: Play It Safe

Take a look at that brochure!
Take a look at that drawing of a bear on a raft!
Take a look at my thumb!

This is the rules section of a brochure for a water park called "Splash Down." They say to "play it safe" and so I figured we could "play a game."

Ugh. That was one of those sentences that sounded better in my head. Plus, this was supposed to be a list, not a game.

Anyway, I have taken the brochure and blocked out key words. Now you get to fill in the blanks. It’s actually more of a quiz than a game. Now that sentence is even dumber.

Here we go:

1. Splash Down is supervised by certified pool operators and all staff is trained in _________.
A) park safety, B) liquid safety awareness or C) The dark ways of Satan

2. Water treatment is the highest standard for _______.
A) water parks, B) municipal standards or C) John Goodman's bathtub

3. Parent/Guardian MUST read posted signs and instruct their children to follow all ________.
A) rules, B) instructions or C) strange men to their cars when offered candy

4. Children who cannot swim MUST be accompanied by an adult while using the _______.
A) activities, B) water slide or C) the 'throw hair dryers in the pool' attraction

5. Children using diapers MUST have _________.
A) proper bathing attire, B) waterproof shorts or C) a permission slip from their toilet

6. Use good personal hygiene in or around ________.
A) water, B) Splash Down or C) EVERYTHING YOU FILTHY SLOB

7. Refrain from going in the water when __________.
A) ill, B) full or C) carrying a bucket of herpes infected eels

8. No running or _______.
A) diving, B) carrying scissors or C) laughing at lame jokes about this list on a website


The answer for everything is “A” (I think. I blocked out the words without writing them down first.)