Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Wanna see a sweaty Andre the Giant in front of a Sanford & Son mural with spanish words typed on him?

Who wouldn't?

Andre the Giant vs Car



Andre the Giant was a big man. A big, awesome man.

He liked to stand next to small cars.

 He could fit in a small car if it was a convertible.
 He could lift a small car.
 I found these pictures on this forum where people where sharing old wrestling pictures.

Here is Andre next to an old time car:
 Andre tries to get in... cue the Benny Hill music:
 Trying to squeeze in:
 He got his head in. That's a good start:
 Alright, that's not working...
 How about butt first (first time I ever wrote that sentence)...
 Sad Andre can't get into a car. Boo hoo.
 Yeah. Sad ending to this. But to cheer y'all up, here's The Rock dressed like L.L. Cool J outside a gas station with a fan:


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Meet the Presidents

I picked up this board game today for $2.


Meet the Presidents. A board game about Presidential trivia from the early 1970s.



It comes with a set of coins with every POTUS from George Jefferson to Cynthia Nixon's dad.




Look at that spinner. Complicated as all get out. If I was prez I would have one of these to make all my decisions.




Here are sample questions "when did Lincoln marry?", "who wrote the first tariff bill?" and "what number is Herbert Hoover thinking of right now?".

Here's the game board:



It stops with Dick Nixon:


The copyright date is 1965, but Nixon's inclusion makes this particular edition 1969 or later.

Here is the instructions:



I know it's too small to read, but would you really read it?

Bottom line: Wheezy Jefferson was First Lady.

Disney Classic #6 & 7

Saludos Amigos & Three Caballeros really are companion films.



Both films feature Donald Duck and both took place in South America.

They were released in 1942 & 1944. Saludos is the shortest of the Disney Classics clocking in at 42 minutes.

It's a fun film with lots of live action travelogue sequences and a few shots of Walt Disney.

José Carioca is introduced in Saludos and then in Caballeros he and Donald are joined by Panchito Pistolas.

The highlight of Saludos. for me, is the Goofy sequence "El Gaucho Goofy". In this Goofy shows us how to live like a Gaucho which is explained to be the Latin American answer to cowboys.

Three Caballeros is a more standard animation running time of 70 minutes. My favorite scene is the finale "Donald's Surreal Reverie".

I like these films. They are package films (as are the next few Disney classics). The package films were made up of small segments tied together.

I like these films. I watch them more than most of the films on the "Disney Classics" list.

On can't really say why. It's most likely because they have a real "old time"  feel. Plus Donald Duck. I love Donald Duck.

Monday, January 23, 2012

How old is Charo?

It depends on how much of a perv Xavier Cugat was.



From wiki:
Official documents in Murcia, Spain (where she was born) and the United States indicate she was born in 1941, but Charo has insisted she was born in 1951 and persuaded a United States court to uphold the 1951 birth year as official.[citation needed]

The performer has said in past interviews that her parents allowed her to falsify her age to appear to be older after marrying 66-year-old band leader Xavier Cugat when she was 15.[2]

Further complicating the question is the fact that contemporary press reports gave her age at marriage as 21,[3][4] an April 1966 column on the wedding plans stated she was 20 and Cugat was 60,[5] and columns less than two years before the marriage refer to her as Cugat's "18-year-old protegée" — which, if she was falsifying her age, would have made her actually 13 at the time.[6]

In October 1977[7] — the same year in which Charo filed for divorce from Cugat and became an American citizen — a United States court upheld the 1951 birth year as official, with the performer providing a sworn statement from her parents in support of her claim.[8]

Commenting on the disputes over her age, she has said that the public's disbelief could prove advantageous: "But if people really believe I'm older, that's fine. Don't be surprised if I come out with my own cosmetics, a new energy bar and maybe some vitamins."[2]

This dude

I have been watching Barney's Halloween an absurd amount of time.



My son loves it.

To keep my sanity I keep looking at the actors and try and think of the backstory of their character.




This dude has no lines. He just quickly walks by the camera with a few kids.

I imagine those aren't his kids. He's the uncle.

He's a successful dentist, but often has to leave work to watch his two nieces. They are his sisters kids.

His sister is the head producer on Oprah. He gets a bit annoyed that he spends so much time away from his job (and his life partner, Dennis) but he loves his sister.

I call him Steve. Steve Sasquahana.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Mrs. Pennypacker




Mrs. Pennypacker appears in my son's favorite DVD:



Mrs. Pennypacker appears during one of the genuinely funny parts of the show.


BJ & Baby Bop are discussing Halloween with a Vaudeville inspired back and forth:

BJ: When you go to the door say 'trick or treat'.
Baby Bop: ok, I'll say 'treat'.
BJ: no say 'trick or treat'!
Baby Bop: I choose 'treat'.

Sure, it's no Abbott & Costello, but it's the high point of this show.

In order to get through the repeated viewings of this I have decided to imagine the back story of each character.




Mrs. Pennypacker's husband was convicted in a ponzi scheme in 1989. He died during the trial.

The jury found her innocent due to her story that she didn't know what he was doing... but she did.

She enjoys the show "Three and a Half Men" and she puts a little brandy in her night time tea.

She always wanted to learn how to ski. She spends the weekends with her two grand kids Bobby & Dobby. She secretly resents her son in law for insisting on the name Dobby. She thinks it will ruin his life.

Before her marriage she dated James Fargo, who later became secretary of treasury in the Carter administration.

Yep. That's what I imagine. It passes the time.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Farmer Dooley

I have a son. He loves to watch Barney's Halloween Party.


Over and over. Again and again. All year round.

You will get the typical "I hate Barney" from me, because I don't.

I think it's a pretty clever show. It teaches kids with silliness & song. One of the cleverest things is that they use centuries old songs with new lyrics.

There's a reason "Old McDonald" is still sung today. It's catchy.

The kids are fun to watch and heck... the show has a DINOSAUR. I gotta like it.

That being said, it takes a lot of fortitude to watch the same episode over and over.

To pass the time I try and come up with a back story for all the characters. For starters there's Farmer Dooley:


This dude is obsessed with apples.



He tells the kids about the importance of apples to the world. He then sings a song about apples.

The lyrics are something like "Apple dumpling, apple beer, apples headphones for your ear. "

I think Farmer Dooley lives in a house made of apples. He drives a car powered by apple juice and sleeps on a pillow full of apple sauce.

He tells folks he is married, but actually he just has a pile of apples in his house that he dressed up like a lady.

Overall, Farmer Dooley is a good guy. Sure, he tried to pay his taxes with apples. Yeah, he has a knife he carries made from an apple core. Yes, he roughed up an orange farmer once.

But he's generally nice. Just don't mention bananas to him.




Friday, January 20, 2012

$90


I have this DVD. I haven't watched it, but I have it.

Once, about 4 years ago, I found this in a Best Buy. It was released in conjunction with the DVD of Iron Man.

I didn't but Iron Man... I bought this.

I was intrigued by the awfulness of this film, but not enough to watch it.

I almost watched it yesterday. Almost. I did Google it and found it's out of print.



Wow. $90. I am off to put this in my safe deposit box. Retirement fund secured!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

He wanted nothing from nobody!

I always loved the film Phenomenon.

I like the story and I like that the title reminds me of the Mahna Mahna sketch from The Muppet Show.




The other thing I really like is Robert Duvall's performance, the following scene in particular:


Doc: [after hearing several of the townsfolk openly disparage George in the Bar] Why do ya have to tear him down? What are ya so afraid of? What have you got to lose? He wasn't selling anything! 
He didn't want anything from anybody! He wanted nothing from nobody! Nothing! And you people have to tear him down so you can sleep better tonight! So ya can prove that the world is flat and ya can sleep better tonite! Am I right? Am I right?... I'm right... The Hell with all of ya. The Hell with everyone of ya.

Its a great little monologue delivered by a pro. But some little juvenile part of me always chuckles when he delivers it because I want it to go slightly differently...


Doc: [after hearing several of the townsfolk openly disparage George in the Bar] Why do ya have to tear him down? What are ya so afraid of? What have you got to lose? He wasn't selling anything! 
He didn't want anything from anybody! He wanted nothing from nobody! Sure, he wanted something from somebody. I suppose he wanted everything from everybody... I guess he wanted to get busy with a busybody. Sure! But... uh... what were we talking about?


Hey! I know that guy!

Character actors! I love them. Those are the actors that appear in dozens of movies over and over but never in a starring role.

They keep things moving forward in the movie but don't dazzle you with flashiness.

I watched a 1989 Kojak TV movie yesterday and was astounded by how many of these guys I saw in the film.

In the film Kojak is lured out of retirement for a case involving a little girl.



He works with this guy:

Andre Braugher is best known for his on Law & Order and Homicide. He's also done dozens of movies usually playing a military officer or judge or cop.

Hector Elizondo played the villain. He has 138 credits on his IMDB page. In other words, if he has a DVD shelf that holds 100 DVDs it won't hold all the ones he appeared in.

Mike Starr has even more credits. 182! I remember him best from his part in Dumb & Dumber and in Ed  Wood. He's the guy that asks Ed "Are you a fruit?".

Joe Grifasi has 109 titles starting in the late 1970s. He has done everything from The Deer Hunter to Batman Forever. I'm not sure that makes sense, but those were the two titles atop his IMDb page.

This guy, James Rebhorn, has played the President of the USA at least two different times. He has appeared in 118 films working with everyone from Pacino to Matt Damon. Again, the two names I threw out don't really help you understand his career any better. They just were both at the top of his IMDb page.

David Margulies played the mayor in Ghostbusters. He's done 70 different films over the years, often playing doctors.

He's been everything from a heart doctor to a surgeon.

So what did we learn?
1. There are pretty interesting people that work alongside Kojak.
2. Never overlook the supporting players in your favorite film.
3. I don't know how to make good comparisons.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Tracking

I buy a lot of VHS tapes. They are super cheap and you can find amazing titles that aren't on DVD or Bluray or Netflix or on YouTube or on your face.

But nothing bums me out more than a bad tracking problem on a VHS tape... uh... well, starving children in Africa bums me out more.




Look at that!!! Don't you want to see that? Well don't look at your DVD player. It doesn't know what to do to help.



Remember this kid? He'd show up at the beginning of tons of old tapes telling you to adjust your tracking because the tape was recorded at EP and is total junk.

That kid may look familiar to you today... he is Presidential candidate Rick Santorum. Maybe.



Duh.

Oh, while I'm on the subject what was the deal with this VCR feature:




Why does the "auto tracking" need to announce itself in giant letters in the center of the screen?

Look manufacturers of VHS tapes and VCRs, fix these issues!

That advice would have been better given a few decades ago. Oh well.

Here is the full "tracking advice" video:

Nostalgia

Here's a screenshot from the 1983 flick" Valley Girl".


The old style Master Card and the charger-slider-thingie. I remember these! It made this loud crunching sound as they copied your card number. It wasn't electronic so I see why it's a thing of the past.


Still, seeing it kinda made me wish it would come back.

Fixing the Howard the Duck DVD cover


I just realized something is missing from the Howard the Duck DVD cover.

Check out the original poster:


See the difference? Yeah, his feet aren't on the poster, but that's not it.

His cigar is missing!

Seriously? I know they love to censor smoking from things, but Howard needs his cigar! Plus, how many kids take up CIGAR smoking because of a duck in a nearly 30 year old movie?

I'm fixing it.


A little coloring and cutting and we have this:


Done.

You know, maybe I should add something so that no one misses the cigar...



Yeah. That's better.